Ep.247 – Gamble with the Devil - Macho Mercenary vs. Blood Hungry Cultists!

WEBVTT

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A videographer is hired by a wannabe
Rambo to film him kicking ass and taking

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names. But as real bullets start
flying, a question arises immediately. Is

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this a commercial or is this some
kind of real murder on tape, something

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akin to a snuff film? What's
that? You want to be scared?

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Come with me. You will experience
tales over opera, who, ghosts and

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Death. It is not recommended for
a week at heart heart listen as in

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00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:56.520
the dark, it's more fun at
that way way. This is Weekly Speaking,

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Hello my Spookyes, it's Wednesday,
and you know what that means.

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It's time for a little spooky in
your weekly. I'm your host and narrator,

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Enrique Kuto, and you may have
noticed I have a bit more bass

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in my voice this week. Well, I didn't change microphones, but I

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did have a little bout with COVID. So I am in the midst of

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recovering from my illness, but I'm
well enough to bring you a terrifying tale

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by David O'Hanlon tonight. So don't
worry, my friends, Your spooky is

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right on schedule, and then I'll
be taking a very well earned nap.

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Believe you me, But don't worry. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm over

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it pretty much all the way.
Just a little remaining congestion. But enough

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about me. I want to say
a big thank you to all of you,

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not only for listening, but for
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as one dollar a month on Patreon, you get two bonus shows every single

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month, and right now they're parts
of a twelve part series called The Weekend

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by Rob Fields about a group of
campers who are spending their weekend on an

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abandoned campground. And as you can
guess, it doesn't go great or well,

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it goes really well. It goes
awesome. For us listening. It's

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a wild ride, a lot of
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com when you click on Patreon.
But now, my friends, before I

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take my nap, I have quite
a fearful tale. This one is sick,

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depraved, violent, gory, all
the things that make life worth living

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or worth dying, depending on how
you look at it, and we'll get

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to that right after these quick words. Gamble with the Devil by David O'Hanlon.

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Travis Gamble crumpled the rejection letter and
tossed it into the trash on his

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way into the kitchen. It was
the third one for the month. It

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frustrated him, but it wasn't the
end of the world. Travis didn't need

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to work. After all, his
family made armaments for the military. Desert

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Storm had inflated their net worth by
hundreds of millions two years prior. Gamble

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didn't want to build weapons, however, he was a weapon. Every day

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went exactly the same. Two scoops
of Ultimate Orange to get him going.

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The Ephedrian made his teeth grind and
his ears high, so he knew it

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was working. Then an hour on
the total gym before breakfast. His diet

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never changed, nor did it need
to. He'd structured his meals perfectly and

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followed each with beef liver, tablets
and amino acids. After the first meal

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of the day, he read from
his collection of military manuals for two hours,

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then practiced martial arts. None of
that strip mall taekwondo bullshit either.

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He was a student of the Dance
of Death, an expert in dim mock,

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and he'd trained with ninja masters throughout
the Midwest. After lunch, he

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did firearms training in the kill house
he'd built, followed by a five mile

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run around the property. After a
well earned shower, Damble spent his evenings

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looking for work. It seemed like
every week a new mercenary outfit opened its

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doors, and none of them wanted
to hire Travis. He took some odd

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jobs out of various classifieds, but
the have gun, will travel stick was

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getting old. He wanted real action
and he was about to get it.

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An increasing number of lawsuits were making
it difficult for magazines to advertise his kind

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of work, but the Internet was
quickly finding its way into every home in

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America. The message boards were full
of opportunities, but he needed to get

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his name out there. He applied
for three outfits in Somalia and another working

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the Balkans before nodding off in the
Lazy Boy with the latest issue of Gung

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Ho in his lap. A quarter
past midnight. The overly excited salesman on

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TV woke him. Gamble watched the
wiry little man with the push broom mustache

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excitedly ramble on about the cheap junk
he was hawking. That's when it hit

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him. Travis needed a commercial.
Enter Earnest valiant Ernie had a certificate of

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completion from an advertising correspondence course,
a big dream, and a bunch of

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video equipment he'd be paying on for
the next decade if he didn't start finding

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gigs. His day job as assistant
manager of the Empornium almost paid his rent.

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Almost wasn't good enough for his landlord, unfortunately, so when some gun

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nut offered him twenty grand to shoot
a two minute commercial, Ernie did what

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anyone would do. He lied his
ass off to make sure he got the

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job. His seventy eight mons a
wagon clanked and groaned up the gravel path

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to Gamble's compound, and he pulled
in front of the house. It was

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a strange structure that somehow managed to
find synergy between feudal Japan and Memphis trailer

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Park. Chic. Ernie kept his
hand on the shifter, debating whether or

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not Gamble was an eccentric rich kid
playing soldier or just another nut job with

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a manifesto. The size of the
property told him that however it shook out,

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the check would still clear. He
put the wagon in park. Ernie

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stepped out into the heat and humidity
that seemed intent on sticking around despite it

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being the first week of fall.
Music from behind the Redneck Pagoda told him

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where he'd find his benefactor. He
listened for a moment, trying to place

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the song. What kind of soldier
of fortune listens to prince, he wondered.

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Ernie shook it off and grabbed the
JVC video camera from its case to

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look as professional as possible. When
he rounded the house, Ernie's shoulders sagged

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at what he saw. It was
like watching the training montage in one of

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those shitty blood fist sequels. Gamble
occupied the center of a training platform surrounded

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by fixtures holding wooden boards and stacks
of bricks. He fired off blows in

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the air with loud jaws in silk
pants emblazoned with tigers on both sides.

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Once he finished the kata, Gamble
bowed to an imagined sense and launched into

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a furious chain of attacks that left
splintered lumber and crushed masonry in his wake.

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Maybe the commercial is for home depot, Ernie thought, with a quiet

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chuckle. Gamble bowed again and stepped
down from the platform. You must be,

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Ernesto, he said, pulling a
drenched sweatband from his high forehead.

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Somehow, his swazy level mullet was
still pristine. I wasn't expecting you so

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early. I drive with a heavy
foot. I guess, Ernie tried not

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to roll his eyes at the obvious
bullshit he gestured at the former construction materials.

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I guess this is just a regular
part of your day then, of

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course, Travis assured him. Every
part of my body is an instrument of

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death. Taking a piss must be
pretty intense. Ernie chuckled, but cleared

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his throat and regained his composure.
So you think you could do that again?

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You said you were looking for a
lot of action shots for the ad,

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and that was well, it was
pretty action packed. That was nothing,

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Travis waved it off. No,
Ernesto, you're going to be shooting

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real action. We'll get some bee
roll today. Of course, some of

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the training drills I used to keep
myself highly dangerous, some workout shots to

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show off my bod, Maybe a
dim mock demonstration too, that one come

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with a special sauce. Ernie bit
his lip. It's the death touch,

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Gamble said, matter of factly,
I can hit a man in the chest

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and rupture his cerebellum. It's about
chi flow and utilizing the body's meridians to

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manifest an immediate fatal result. Sounds
cool. Ernie nodded, how about we

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manifest you a commercial, and they
did. Ernie filmed Gamble throwing ninja stars,

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doing push ups, shooting mannequins,
and breaking bricks for the remainder of

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the day. Whenever it was time
to switch tapes or batteries, Travis had

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him record audio for possible voiceovers,
where he blathered about warrior cultures, recited

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macho one liners, and waxed poetic
about the distinguished history of the mercenary profession.

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When they were finished, Travis insisted
on them having dinner together, despite

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Ernie claiming every possible food allergy.
To get out of it, Gamble brought

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out the mre rations and let his
guest choose the entree. Ernie perused the

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shelf as he scooped what the package
identified as beef stroganoff from the pouch with

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his plastic fork. You've read all
these, Ernie asked, most of them,

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Gamble said, I'm still working my
way through a poor man's James Bond

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series, but I've committed the Anarchist
Cookbook to memory. The same with the

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Art of War, Machiavelli's The Prince, and the Book of Five Rings.

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I read one of the military training
manuals every day. They're a bit too

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technical for recreational reading, but are
an imperative part of my mission to be

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the world's greatest mercenary. Right,
Ernie, drop the utensil into the ration

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pouch. I'd say, you're off
to a good start. I'll go through

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what we shot and get you something
this week that really captures your energy and

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badassness. Oh but that was just
the filler. We haven't gotten to the

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good stuff yet, you know,
the real meat and potatoes of what I'm

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doing. Hopefully those don't come in
another of these pouches. Ernie scowled.

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He was sure he'd earned his paycheck. After spending the day on the set

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of Enter the Douchebag. There was
more than enough material to convince people he

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could intimidate their ex wives or beat
up the neighborhood bully or whatever the fuck

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kind of work. Gamble thought a
highlight reel would drum up. We still

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have to shoot the action scenes,
Travis told him. The karate wasn't the

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action ninjitsu. Travis corrected him,
No, the action has to be authentic.

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It can't be training footage or stage
five heights. You are going to

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accompany me on a genuine assault of
a terrorist compound. Yeah, I'm I'm

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sorry to tell you this now,
but I don't have a passport. Ernie

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shook his head. Besides, I
have other clients this week, so I

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can't. You'll be home in time
for frosted flakes, Travis interrupted with a

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smile. He hadn't done that all
day. Ernie wished he hadn't then either.

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The expression made his skin prickle and
his balls shrink up tight to his

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body. Gamble stalked across the living
room and took the pouch from Ernie's hand

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with a delicate, almost lover like
movement. The smile grew wider. He

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pressed a finger to Ernie's lips as
they started wriggling into an objection. I

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have something special for you to wear, he told the cameraman. The hour

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long drive through the Tennessee backwoods was
filled with awkward silences. The men wore

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matching flak jackets, though Gamble wore
his over his bare torso, and camo

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stripes adorned his face and lean,
muscular arms. He'd given Ernie a kevlar

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helmet to match the body armor,
but the would be murk didn't bother protecting

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his own head. It probably wasn't
necessary anyhow, and it would have deprived

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him of the opportunity to be a
stereotype while he tightened his headband around his

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brow like Rambo. Gamble had given
Ernie little more information on their mission,

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only that there was a threat to
the American way of life looming in the

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sticks southwest of Nashville. Ernie wasn't
entirely convinced the story wasn't part of some

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kinky sex murder thing when they finally
came to a stop. Sure, he

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hadn't been tied up, and he
did have the surplus armor, but maybe

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it was all part of Gamble's strange
fetish. Maybe the mercenary wanted them to

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go out into the woods and jump
into each other's foxholes before killing Ernie in

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a friendly fire. Fantasy. That
seemed to be the case. When Travis

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opened the glove box, Ernie swallowed
hard at the sight of the cold blue

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steel within. Take that just in
case, the merk, said, Ernie

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slid the revolver out of the compartment
and checked to see if it was loaded.

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It was that made the game a
bit stranger. Ernie angled the barrel

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towards Gamble under his arm, just
in case it was all a ruse.

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Why why are we way out here, he muttered, I told you we're

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defending freedom and kicking ass. Gamble
took a swig of Ultimate Orange from a

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travel mug before continuing. Saint Dimpna's
youth asylum is three clicks through the woods,

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and it's full of terrorists. Ernie
shook his head vigorously. I'm here

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to film a commercial, call the
FBI or something. Why. Gamble got

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out of the truck, Ernie hesitant, He followed him. The meager spray

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of moonlight coming through the trees made
Gamble look like a mirage as he moved

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to the tailgate. Calm down er, Neesto, They're not actual terrorists,

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Gamble assured him, They're just devil
worshippers. It was either this or crash

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a drug lab. The second one
might seem undemocratic. Of us, free

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market capitalism is the anchor that keeps
America in the harbor of freedom, after

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all, So we're going after the
Satanists, easy peasy. Chances are they

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won't even be armed. It'll be
a walk in the park. Have you

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walked through a fucking park lately?
Ernie's voice cracked and he brought it back

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down to a whisper. People get
murdered in parks. You're one guy.

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The police send an entire swat teams
for things like this, And what the

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fuck do you mean? Chances are
didn't you do some kind of recon or

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whatever it's called. We don't need
a swat team. I'm better trained than

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those pussies. He unsnapped a plastic
case. Plus, we have Sally,

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who's Sally Gamble held up the rifle. It looked like something out of a

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sci fi movie. He inserted a
magazine and pulled back the charging handle.

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Sally is my babe. A Ruger
Mini fourteen bullpup conversion with laser sighting and

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modified for full auto. She goes
from Siesta to Fiesta with two pounds of

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trigger pressure. Each magazine is thirty
rounds of mercury tipped boat tail hollow points

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that explode on impact and will turn
this black mass into a Bielza bloodbath.

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That okay, yeah, so that
was actually pretty clever, Ernie begrudgingly admitted.

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But that's one gun against an entire
colt. I have another. Gamble

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pulled an obscenely long piece of overcompensation
from the high mounted holster on his right

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leg. This is my mistress,
she's a save me the guns and AMMO

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review, Gamble, I could get
killed. Ernie pointed at the mercenary's waist.

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Are those fucking nun chucks? Of
course? Gamble holstered his pistol and

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removed a sword from his case.
He pointed it at Ernie. We want

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the video to show off as many
of my skills as possible. You're not

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filming a commercial. You're making a
goddamn snuff film. Don't be ridiculous,

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sir Nesto. He sheathed the sword
across his back. It's only a snuff

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film if someone jerks off to it. People jerk off to everything. You

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know what. The most rented movie
at the Empornium was last month miss Piggy

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does Houston. Have you ever seen
a muppet getting butt fucked by a grown

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man? Not since I rented the
movie. Travis snickered and slapped Ernie on

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the shoulder. I'm fucking with you, man beating it lowers your testosterone.

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That's probably why you have man boobs. By the way, Grab your camera,

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kermit, it's time to take Piggy
out. Dance. Don't go away

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weakly, spooky, We'll be right
back. The night vision filter on the

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camera cast the structure in various shades
of green and black. Vines and graffiti

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gave life to the drab, battered
facade of the two story asylum. The

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00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:26.759
architecture itself was as exciting as a
lego. Brick bars sat over broken windowpanes,

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and a pair of heavy wooden doors
stood wide open and half off their

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hinges. Headstones of pauper graves stood
among knee high grass along the western side

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of the building. Ernie panned the
camera there and spotted only the occasional blur

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of movement. As Travis Gamble closed
in on the target through the cemetery,

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he actually looked like he knew what
he was doing. Ernie redirected the camera

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to the hospital. Flickering light danced
from some of the upstairs windows. Shadows

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fluttered on the walls, breaking up
the verdant video. Feet with obsidian specters,

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Ernie fought back a nervous gag.
Two people came around one side of

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the building in a lazy curve that
skirted the boneyard. Ernie zoomed the camera

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in for a closer look. They
wore matching outfits with sheepskin chaps and open

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robes. The camera was zoomed to
its max, and the details of the

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medallions hanging around their necks were lost
in the low resolution. Something flashed in

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the moonlight, and spurts of black
liquid gushed from one man's neck. Gamble

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sprang from the tall grass and launched
himself in a flying kick that dropped the

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other. Gamble drew his sword,
striking a pose with it before thrusting the

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blade into the prone guard. He
pivoted to find the first man, still

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stumbling. The spurting had lost its
intensity. Gamble swung the sword and the

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man's torso separated from his legs.
Ernie spewed strogan off into the bushes.

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He'd have to edit that out of
the footage. Later, if survived and

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escaped a prison sentence, Gamble waved
for him to come. The cameraman wiped

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his mouth on the back of his
hand and debated. Running back to the

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truck, static crackled in his ear. Come on, or NESTO get some

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closeups of these two before we go
inside, Gamble said over the radio.

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This sword is ridiculously sharp. Did
you see how it cleaved that D and

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D geek in half? He'd seen
it, and, thanks to the reminder,

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00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:30.599
vomited once more before responding that he
was on his way. By the

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time he arrived, Gamble had taken
position at the corner of the building to

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make his next move. Ernie dutifully
filmed the corpses. Bubbles rose and popped

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from one of the victim's lips.
Is this guy still alive? If he

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00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:48.839
is, I want my money back
for the sword, Gamble said, with

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00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:52.839
a quick glance back. I stabbed
him in the brain. Dufus, He's

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not alive. The bubble thing is
air leaving his lungs since he's no longer

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using them. Oh, come on, the next part is going to happen

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pretty fast, Gamble said. It's
all happening pretty fast, Ernie thought.

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00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:11.680
The two men made their way along
the front of the asylum. The mercenary

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made a show of checking the doorway
before rolling through and sweeping the room with

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the barrel of his rifle. He
gave a series of hand signals that hadn't

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00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:26.160
been part of Ernie's limited briefing.
Gamble side, come inside, he hissed.

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00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:33.279
Ernie did so. He filmed the
dilapidated interior. Pentagrams six six sixes,

251
00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:37.720
upside down crosses, and the rest
of the satanic regalia pedaled by Hollywood

252
00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:42.200
had been spray painted wherever there wasn't
a fisthole or a thick patch of black

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00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:48.839
mold to obscure the canvas. Gamble
started up an L shaped stairway while Ernie

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00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:52.720
took some quick establishing shots. Hey, a voice called out, who the

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00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:57.480
fuck are you, dick Weed.
Ernie froze in place. I'm talking to

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00:21:57.559 --> 00:22:00.960
you, Jiz Stain. This this
is for black lambs only. What are

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00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:07.160
you doing here, the gruff voice
demanded, mostly trying not to ship myself

258
00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:11.200
at the moment, Ernie muttered.
He turned slowly. The man came closer,

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00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:15.960
passing by a barrel of bursting detritus
that cast a hell fire glow across

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00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:22.039
the goat skull he'd fashioned into a
mask. Ritual scars adorned his dark bare

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00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:26.119
chest. His hand moved to the
grip of a dagger. I asked,

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00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:32.799
who the fuck you are? He
growled, I'm I mean I'm with ABC

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00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:38.400
ABC. The guard stopped walking and
drew the blade from its sheath. That

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00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:44.880
stands for about to be castrated.
God, I hope not. Ernie's free

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00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:48.599
hand covered his crotch. We're doing
a peace on religious freedom in America.

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00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:52.440
I didn't realize you guys were having
a meeting tonight. I'll come back later,

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00:22:53.160 --> 00:22:59.039
only in a seance. Dick Weed. The man charged. Ernie aimed

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the camera at him. His last
moments would at least look cool if anyone

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00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:07.359
ever found the footage. Then the
killer grunted and toppled forward. The animal

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00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:14.359
skull shattered, spreading bone like confetti
across the dingy tile floor. Ernie moved

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00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:18.480
the camera down, since looking at
the carnage through the lens was easier on

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00:23:18.519 --> 00:23:22.319
his stomach. Over half of the
throwing star had buried itself into the coltest's

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00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:27.079
brainstem. Smart thinking not using the
gun, I gave you, Gamble said

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00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:32.720
over the radio, and waved him
to follow upstairs. Yeah, I thought

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00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:37.640
that was the best play. Ernie
lied, he'd forgotten all about the magnum

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00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:41.880
stuffed into his waistband. He wouldn't
next time. Ernie stepped around yet another

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00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:47.799
dead body, wondering if Gamble might
actually be the bad motherfucker he presented himself

278
00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:52.160
to be before jogging up the stairs
as quickly as possible. Gamble stayed close

279
00:23:52.200 --> 00:23:56.960
to the wall as he stalked down
the hallway, with Sally pressed tight into

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his shoulder. Ernie tried to copy
the movement, but it ruined his shot,

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00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:07.359
and his sense of professionalism overrode his
sense of self preservation. He stepped

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00:24:07.400 --> 00:24:11.039
into the center of the hall for
the best angle on the mercenary candles,

283
00:24:11.079 --> 00:24:15.640
some of them scented burned along the
sides, providing only enough light to avoid

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00:24:15.680 --> 00:24:22.200
tripping over scattered debris and refuse obscene
chanting in a malevolent tongue carried from one

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00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:27.200
of the rooms. Further along the
path, A masculine, deep voice bellowed

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00:24:27.319 --> 00:24:33.799
arcane words of power that crackled with
artificial amplification. The revelry of the worshippers

287
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:40.799
gained fervor. There were other sounds
closer, but not as scary gasps,

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00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:45.359
moans, squeals. Ernie's mind pushed
them away and focused on the nefarious chanting.

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00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:51.720
Gamble paused and peeked around an empty
door jam. He ducked back,

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00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:56.839
holding up a clenched fist that Ernie
assumed meant stop. Gamble signaled for silence,

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00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:02.720
and then pointed at the room.
Ernie stepped cautiously as he maneuvered for

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00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:07.279
a shot of whatever was waiting inside. His stomach pitched, but there was

293
00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:14.480
nothing left to throw up. Dozens
of mutilated goats hung from the ceiling,

294
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:19.759
some sacrifice so recently that the muscles
still twitched and made them dance on their

295
00:25:19.799 --> 00:25:26.839
hooks. Guts dangled from their split
torsos and trickled blood like broken faucets.

296
00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:32.640
Ernie followed a long rope of entrails
with his camera down onto the occupants of

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00:25:32.680 --> 00:25:37.680
the room, on a collection of
mildewed mattresses and in puddles of spilled sacrificial

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00:25:37.720 --> 00:25:42.920
offal. The coltists, wearing nothing
but their woolen chaps, fucked in every

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00:25:44.039 --> 00:25:51.039
conceivable position. Bloody skin slapped together
and peeled apart again and again. A

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00:25:51.079 --> 00:25:56.680
woman chewed at a length of intestine
to muffle her orgasmic shrieking. Two of

301
00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:00.400
the men interlocked their hands in a
mystic form as they thrust themselves into a

302
00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:06.480
third from opposite ends. A gory
blonde held herself up by the ribcage of

303
00:26:06.519 --> 00:26:11.000
one of the animals, while three
mouths went to work on different erogenous zones.

304
00:26:11.839 --> 00:26:15.480
Nothing at the Empornium compared to what
Ernie was filming. He stole a

305
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:19.279
glance around the hall, but kept
the camera on the action. He was

306
00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:25.079
sure they couldn't see him recording,
or his own cock straining against the fabric

307
00:26:25.079 --> 00:26:30.440
of his khakis. The blonde shuddered
and squealed, then seemed to stare straight

308
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:37.920
into Ernie's eyes. Not my eyes, he realized, the blinking red recording

309
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:41.839
light reflected off the fractured window behind
her. Ernie moved his hand to the

310
00:26:41.839 --> 00:26:45.640
butt of the revolver. If she
alerted the others, he was as good

311
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:49.680
as dead. It was self defense, but that didn't make it easier to

312
00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:55.000
wrap his mind around. He didn't
want to kill anyone. He wasn't sure

313
00:26:55.039 --> 00:27:00.839
if he could. Despite how easy
gamble made it look speaking of the mercenary

314
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:03.960
slid something from a pouch on his
body armor. Ernie turned to get a

315
00:27:03.960 --> 00:27:08.160
better look at the cylindrical device through
the night vision. The lens flashed with

316
00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:14.160
a sudden flare, and then spark
shimmered and fell like iridescent snowflakes from the

317
00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:18.319
top. Ernie's mind flashed back to
the bookshelf at Gamble's place, to the

318
00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:23.880
black cookbook with the white letters on
the spine. Gamble chucked the device into

319
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:29.599
the room, then gestured frantically for
Ernie to move. The camera went from

320
00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:33.599
the sparkling fuse to the confused faces
of the orgy goers that noticed. Most

321
00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:40.400
kept on fucking, oblivious to the
incendiary intrusion orgasms built around the room.

322
00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:44.559
Ernie scanned the crowd. The blonde
was trying to warn the others, but

323
00:27:44.680 --> 00:27:48.079
stammered the words as her lovers continued
biting, licking, and sucking at her

324
00:27:48.119 --> 00:27:53.079
flesh. Ernie couldn't make his feet
move. He wanted to shout for everybody

325
00:27:53.119 --> 00:27:59.240
to run, but he only managed
to lick his lips in anticipation. The

326
00:27:59.319 --> 00:28:03.880
swelling in his pants grew until it
hurt. Lustful screams rose as the fuse

327
00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:07.960
shortened, Ernie dived away at the
last second. The bomb exploded, and

328
00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:12.200
so did he. When the ringing
left, he could hear that the room

329
00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:18.240
was still full of screams, just
not the pleasurable kind. Ernie huffed in

330
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:23.720
post orgasmic exhaustion. Shame, fear, guilt, embarrassment, and lingering arousal

331
00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:29.480
all swirled around in his skull like
a witch's brew. He pulled himself into

332
00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:33.799
a fetal position as Gamble stepped into
the doorway and opened fire on the survivors,

333
00:28:34.519 --> 00:28:38.799
Ernie forced himself onto his back to
keep filming. The other Coltists had

334
00:28:38.839 --> 00:28:45.079
stopped chanting and were storming the hallway. Gamble had greatly underestimated their numbers,

335
00:28:45.119 --> 00:28:49.799
but luckily not their armament. The
murk changed magazines and sally sang like streisand

336
00:28:49.839 --> 00:28:56.039
in his fists, baseball sized holes
opened and rampaging bodies. Heads exploded,

337
00:28:56.119 --> 00:29:02.680
Limbs and bits of ceremonial garb flew
into the Another nail bomb slid down the

338
00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:07.440
corridor. Gamble fired from the hip
as he straffed the Satanists with gunfire.

339
00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:11.160
The bomb went off, throwing corpses
in pieces of them in all directions.

340
00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:15.680
Gamble let Sally hang from her sling
as he helped Ernie to his feet.

341
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:21.319
I sure hope you got all that
on tape, he said, Uh huh,

342
00:29:21.880 --> 00:29:26.319
Ernie managed to squeak out. He
was more concerned with hiding the stains

343
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.200
spreading down his leg. I got
it all right, Let's see what they

344
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:34.319
were up to, Gamble suggested,
as he started through the smoldering sea of

345
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:40.079
carnage. Nails stuck out of charred
flesh, and the smell of burnt wool

346
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:45.039
hung heavy in the air. Gamble's
pistol boomed as he delivered his own sort

347
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:48.680
of mercy to a still groaning victim. He guided Ernie to the last door

348
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:55.440
on the left and swung inside with
the handcannon ready. Ernie whimpered. It

349
00:29:55.519 --> 00:30:00.240
wasn't nearly as pleasant as the previous
room. The cymbals painted on the wall

350
00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:03.799
of the room were much more intricate
and well crafted than the crude graffiti he'd

351
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:10.240
seen upon entry to the asylum.
This room wasn't for amateurs, he tried

352
00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:15.039
to blink away, pulling tears as
he took it all in. Are you

353
00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:25.440
afraid? Good? Weakly spooky?
We'll be right back four hospital gurneys were

354
00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:30.319
lined up inside a circle of black
candles. Each had a person strapped to

355
00:30:30.359 --> 00:30:34.039
it, and blood poured over the
sides of three of them before disappearing down

356
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:41.000
a floor drain. Ernie filmed the
bodies first. Each was young mid teens

357
00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:45.079
at the latest, with their chests
torn open and their hearts burning inside.

358
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:51.480
The pungent scent of incense rose from
the low green flames engulfing the organs.

359
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:56.799
A powerfully built man in heavy vermilion
robes stood stoically over the only survivor,

360
00:30:57.640 --> 00:31:02.319
the skull of a big horse,
and ram hid his face as he moved

361
00:31:02.359 --> 00:31:07.519
his glance from Gamble to Ernie.
A prepubescent girl squirmed against her restraints before

362
00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:14.000
him. You should leave, the
priest said, slipping the mask off and

363
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:18.119
letting it shatter on the floor.
The ritual is for the eyes of the

364
00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:23.359
faithful alone. The ritual's been canceled. Pal Gamble leveled his pistol at the

365
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:27.640
man's chest. On the bright side, you're about to meet the devil in

366
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:33.640
person. I already have you fool. The priest raised a double bladed sacrificial

367
00:31:33.720 --> 00:31:38.640
knife. You must leave while there's
still time. This must end tonight.

368
00:31:40.039 --> 00:31:45.039
We must undo what The gunshot boomed
and echoed through the shower room. The

369
00:31:45.079 --> 00:31:49.839
priest's brains splattered the wall behind him. He stumbled back and forth, his

370
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:55.880
eyes rolled up and crossed an attempt
to see the puckered hole in his forehead.

371
00:31:56.400 --> 00:32:00.640
Gray matter slithered down the tile walls
like slugs. The priest collapsed on

372
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:06.440
top of the struggling child, and
they slumped away in the heap. Ernie

373
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:10.160
lowered the magnum's smoking barrel and let
the gun clatter to the floor. God

374
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:15.680
damn it, or Nesto Gamble jammed
his own pistol into his holster. I

375
00:32:15.799 --> 00:32:19.680
was supposed to kill him. He
looked at the camera, still trained on

376
00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:24.559
the gore spattered wall. He raised
an eyebrow and nodded appreciatively. Wow,

377
00:32:25.079 --> 00:32:29.640
you made that shot without taking the
camera off the guy, he said with

378
00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:34.279
amusement. Maybe with some creative editing, I can still take credit for it,

379
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:37.799
for the sake of the commercial.
I mean, but damn man,

380
00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:42.000
you are unnatural at this sort of
thing. If we get you in shape

381
00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:45.680
and work on that vomiting problem you
have, you could make a damn good

382
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:50.880
mercenary yourself. I don't want to
be a fucking mercenary. Ernie screamed.

383
00:32:51.240 --> 00:32:53.480
I just want to go back to
my shitty fucking apartment, cry in my

384
00:32:53.599 --> 00:33:01.680
scuzzy shower, and think happy fucking
thoughts. Happy thoughts, the little girl

385
00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:09.920
said. She giggled melodically, happy
thoughts, Happy thoughts. There's you a

386
00:33:09.960 --> 00:33:15.680
happy thought her nesto. Gamble moved
to the gurney and started undoing the child's

387
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:20.599
restraints. You rescued a little girl
from a sick asshole. Sure I did

388
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:22.759
most of the work, but you
played a crucial role in the operation.

389
00:33:23.559 --> 00:33:29.079
Is that thought happy enough for you? Those aren't the thoughts that make Ernie

390
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:34.680
happy, the girl said, in
her sweet, dainty voice. Sarah is

391
00:33:34.839 --> 00:33:40.599
Ernie's happy thought. Who's Sarah?
Your girlfriend? Gamble asked, do you

392
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:45.920
know the rugrat? Ernie shook his
head in equal confusion. That was her

393
00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:52.240
name, The blonde that looked you
in the eyes, the sacrificial child explained,

394
00:33:52.039 --> 00:33:55.519
the one you didn't try to warn, the one you were thinking about

395
00:33:55.519 --> 00:34:00.000
when the bomb went off, the
one that made you come like a verse

396
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:04.680
in a stiff breeze. She's your
happy thought, not the way she was

397
00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:09.840
then, but the way she is
now. I think she's talking to you,

398
00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:16.320
Ernie stammered. No, the gravelly, malevolent voice boomed from the child's

399
00:34:16.360 --> 00:34:22.840
mouth. Her voice returned to its
previous, delicate playfulness as she continued,

400
00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:27.239
I know you, Ernie, you
can't wait to get home and watch the

401
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:31.559
footage. You want to touch yourself, to stroke your anorexic cock while you

402
00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:37.480
picture Sarah's smoldering flesh and the ravaged
stumps that used to be her legs,

403
00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:40.159
pressing on the sides of your head
while you lap at her ruptured gut.

404
00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:45.679
That's pretty sick, man, Gamble
said, with a disapproving glance at Ernie.

405
00:34:46.719 --> 00:34:52.400
I don't know what she's talking about. She's she's fucking traumatized or something.

406
00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:58.159
Oh please, she giggled and sat
up, suddenly snapping the remaining strap

407
00:34:58.199 --> 00:35:01.800
around her shoulders with ease. An
innocent smile formed on her tiny face.

408
00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:07.039
I know all about the secret collection
of videos, the ones you rent out

409
00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:13.360
to special customers, the ones you
make at your cousin's mortuary with that adorable

410
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:16.840
little gimp mask on to hide your
shame. She rolled off the gurney,

411
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:22.079
kneeling next to the priest. Gamble
jumped clear and reached instinctively for his pistol.

412
00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:28.320
The girl lifted the dead man's head. You like corpses, but you've

413
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:32.400
never gotten to see one being made
before, She continued, You've never had

414
00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:37.360
access to ones as fresh as these
tonight. The girl shoved her fist into

415
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:42.400
the back of the priest's skull and
wiggled her finger out of the entrance wound.

416
00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:45.840
She laughed and looked up at Gamble. What do you think, Travis.

417
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:49.920
It might be a bit of a
tight fit, but I bet our

418
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:53.159
pal Ernie could have the time of
his life with this one. Listen,

419
00:35:53.320 --> 00:35:59.440
kid, Gamble started, Kid.
The child looked down at her floral dress

420
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:04.880
and frilled, Oh, yes,
the little ones are so much easier to

421
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:08.159
bargain with. Promise them an ice
cream, throw a kitten in, and

422
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:14.119
they'll invite any old soul in for
a stay. The child blinked away her

423
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:20.440
blue eyes and replaced them with red
pupilless orbs. What in the hell?

424
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:25.000
Travis stumbled back and whipped his pistol
from the holster. Yes, hell,

425
00:36:25.159 --> 00:36:30.760
indeed, the child's voice deepened again. She stood, pulling off the priest's

426
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:36.519
head with ease and bowling it across
the floor. She pranced between two of

427
00:36:36.559 --> 00:36:40.000
the occupied gurneys. Inside. It's
a shame you didn't get here sooner to

428
00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:45.639
save the others. We haven't had
a boy's night out since Louden. I

429
00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:49.920
suppose I could burn down a convent
in their honor. That would do nicely,

430
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:53.639
don't you think. Ernie knelt to
retrieve the revolver. When the gurneys

431
00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:59.800
flew across the room and smashed the
tilted walls into shards. The child held

432
00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:05.679
up finger and wiggled it disapprovingly.
Her back rippled with movement beneath her skin.

433
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:09.639
An alarm clock chimed in the corner. The girl snapped her fingers and

434
00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:15.800
it exploded, its little brass bell
pinged off Ernie's helmet. The child levitated

435
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:22.440
from the floor. Time's up,
warranties, expired, trial period over,

436
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:28.960
she growled. No refunds, no
returns, and no fucking exchanges. Here's

437
00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:32.320
a lesson. You won't live long
enough to need Travis. Never summon what

438
00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:37.719
you can't put back. Gamble raised
the pistol, The metal fissured and the

439
00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:43.079
weapon fell to pieces in his hand. The girl floated around him and laughed.

440
00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:47.559
Demonically. You wanted to go to
war, Travis, so allow me

441
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:53.960
to oblige. First, we'll need
an army. The child clapped her hands

442
00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:59.960
and groans filled the corridors of the
asylum. The floor shook and fractured as

443
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.679
asbestos fell from the trembling ceiling.
Ernie looked over his shoulder and screamed.

444
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:08.760
He stumbled further into the room,
making way for the shambling cadavers filing through

445
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:15.559
the doorway. Dismembered bodies crawled and
hobbled, while disembodied appendages slithered like caterpillars

446
00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:22.519
into the room. More moans emanated
from outside. Rotting children scaled the building,

447
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:25.280
shaking off their dirt of their graves
as they clawed their way through the

448
00:38:25.320 --> 00:38:30.960
crumbling walls. Sarah's buxomed torso,
with her bloodied blonde hair hanging from her

449
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:37.519
mangled scalp, scurried across the room
on ragged, mail studded stumps. Ernie

450
00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:42.239
shrieked in horror. As the reanimated
victims of the asylum and Gamble's own perverse

451
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:47.239
role play converged on the mercenary,
Gamble swung his nunchacoos at them wildly.

452
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:52.280
The wood thudded against the flesh and
cracked bones, but the assault didn't stop.

453
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:57.800
Sarah rushed through the fracas and clamped
her teeth down on Gamble's crotch.

454
00:38:58.440 --> 00:39:02.039
His high pitched screech disapp appeared in
a cacophony of chewing and tearing as he

455
00:39:02.119 --> 00:39:07.400
was swallowed by the mass of the
necromantic mob. Ernie staggered to the wall

456
00:39:07.559 --> 00:39:12.840
and slid down, unable to take
his eyes off the scene as he had

457
00:39:12.880 --> 00:39:17.519
been with the orgy. That's what
this is, he told himself. This

458
00:39:17.559 --> 00:39:22.679
is another orgy. Flesh on flesh, mouths on flesh, penetration, bodily

459
00:39:22.679 --> 00:39:29.440
fluids mingling, exchanging. He didn't
want to admit it, but it had

460
00:39:29.480 --> 00:39:34.760
the same stiffening effect on him as
before. The demon was right. He

461
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:38.519
liked the dead. He liked the
way cold skin felt on his warm lips,

462
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:44.119
and the way it held him when
he slipped inside. He crawled across

463
00:39:44.159 --> 00:39:49.320
the floor tentatively. Gamble was crying
under the heap of undulating meat and viscera.

464
00:39:50.159 --> 00:39:54.519
Ernie crawled faster. He sprang into
the dogpile, guts squished between his

465
00:39:54.639 --> 00:40:00.800
fingers as he buried himself in the
carnage. Sarah chewed viciously at Gamble's thigh,

466
00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:04.280
and Ernie grabbed a fistful of her
hair to pull her face up to

467
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:08.599
his. They came forward to meet
in a kiss, playfully passing a piece

468
00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:15.239
of Gamble between their mouths. The
child's laughter echoed through the asylum as the

469
00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:23.440
building collapsed in on itself. The
helmet Travis had given him saved Ernie's life.

470
00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:28.280
It took a few hours to crawl
out of the rubble, but he

471
00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:32.800
managed. He walked through the forest
hand in hand with Sarah until the last

472
00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:37.880
bits of sinew tore and the arm
came free from the rest of the torso

473
00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:43.559
it was probably for the better.
Whirlwind romances never seemed to last anyhow.

474
00:40:44.199 --> 00:40:47.639
He kept the arm though, for
the long drive home. Rigor was setting

475
00:40:47.719 --> 00:40:52.119
in and it would give him one
hell of a squeeze. Ernie hadn't just

476
00:40:52.199 --> 00:40:58.280
survived the night he'd been reborn.
He had a new understanding of who he

477
00:40:58.440 --> 00:41:01.800
was and what he needed to do
with his life. You can't wait for

478
00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:06.280
the things you want to come to
you in life, No, you have

479
00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:10.360
to go out and find them yourself. He'd go back to Gamble's home the

480
00:41:10.400 --> 00:41:15.880
books and weapons there were just what
he needed. Sarah had been special,

481
00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:21.559
if only for one night, but
she'd shown him what his life was missing.

482
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:27.840
He pulled the revolver from his waistband
and smiled. Ernie just needed to

483
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:37.800
find someone to love. I've said
it before, and I'll say it again.

484
00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:42.679
Ain't love grand Leave it to our
good buddy David O'Hanlon to give us

485
00:41:42.679 --> 00:41:50.480
a truly nauseating and delightfully disgusting story
to start out February, because love is

486
00:41:50.519 --> 00:41:52.400
in the air, and I want
to remind you all that next week,

487
00:41:52.679 --> 00:41:59.159
our Valentine's Day story is extra special. It's a novella length story by our

488
00:41:59.320 --> 00:42:04.400
very own rock Fields, and I
assure you you won't want to miss it.

489
00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:07.840
It's going to expand a whole lot
on the Strickfield universe and take us

490
00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:12.400
to some new heights, and keep
an eye on this channel. You might

491
00:42:12.519 --> 00:42:15.679
just get an extra sneak peek before
the week is out, but that's right.

492
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:22.840
Next Wednesday, a very special Valentine's
episode, and hopefully I won't have

493
00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:27.719
this augmented bass voice by then.
Although I'm sure many of you are enjoying

494
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:30.559
it, it feels weird hearing it
through my headphones. So anyway, I'm

495
00:42:30.559 --> 00:42:35.199
getting a little loopy. I need
to take some more cold medicine and take

496
00:42:35.239 --> 00:42:37.639
a little nap. But before I
get out of here, I want to

497
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:42.280
say thank you so much for joining
the Patreon It really makes a huge difference

498
00:42:42.280 --> 00:42:45.639
in keeping the Spooky coming every single
week. And an extra special thank you

499
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:51.119
to our Patreon podcast boosters, folks
who pay just a little bit more to

500
00:42:51.199 --> 00:42:54.920
hear their names on the show,
and they are Johnny Nicks, John callenbobotopia

501
00:42:55.079 --> 00:43:00.599
dot com, Jenny Green, Brent
McCullough, Karen we Met, Jack and

502
00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:02.079
Craig Cohen. Thank you all so
much, And if you want to hear

503
00:43:02.119 --> 00:43:06.800
your name at the end of the
show, just go to Weeklyspooky dot com,

504
00:43:06.920 --> 00:43:10.639
click on Patreon and select any tear
at fifteen dollars a month or higher

505
00:43:12.119 --> 00:43:15.960
and you'll get to hear your name
out of my temporarily sultry voice. But

506
00:43:16.079 --> 00:43:19.239
now, my friends, it's time
to get out of here. I really

507
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:22.079
do need that nap, but I'm
happy I could bring you a little Spooky

508
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:25.800
in your weekly before I get to
it. So for myself, for my

509
00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:30.800
producer, Dan Wilder, my executive
producers Mark Shields and Rob Fields, and

510
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:36.400
my composer Ray Matis. Please,
my dear, stay spooky and stay healthy.

511
00:43:36.920 --> 00:43:40.480
Get some rest. You never know
it's flu season. Watch out later.

512
00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:45.920
My friends talk at you so thank
you for Listenhaies. Make sure to

513
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:52.719
find your way back next week,
but for now you are safe. Trust me,