Mischief Night: A Halloween Carol | Trick-or-Treat Horror

0:00 It's Halloween. The porch light is off. The candy bowl is empty. But the three children outside Eliza Jordan's door aren't going home. They say she owes them an offering. And tonight, trick or treat isn't a question. It's a warning for all of us. Trick or treat. There's a chill in the air. Must be fall. Join me for a tale of Halloween. You will experience tales and death.

1:01 It is not recommended for the weak at heart. This is weekly spooky. Well, my spookies, tonight's the night, isn't it? I'm your host and narrator, Enrique Couto, and this is the seventh year that Weekly Spooky has existed on this mortal plane. And the seventh year we've had a very special Halloween story from Shane Migliavacca. But before we get to that, I want to say thank you for spending so much of your Halloween season with me. But now, I can't help you. No. The veil has become so thin, so permeable, anything can cross through it. You have to follow the rules and hope you can make it until sunrise. Otherwise...

2:30 There's no point in asking you to subscribe on your favorite podcast app or even leave us a five-star rating, though I do appreciate if you do. Right now, you need to focus on having candy to hand out, a porch light with a fresh light bulb in it, and that jack-o'-lantern better stay lit. It's been a dream doing six years of Weekly Spooky for you all, and we won't be going anywhere. with scary Christmas stories and so much more to come. So, I guess be hopeful and subscribe. Who knows, stranger things have happened than you surviving a night terrorized by a kind of ghoulish goblin hungry for treats but starving for tricks, waiting in the dark, ready to find its quarry. But as for tonight's scary story, It fits the vibe perfectly. As Eliza Jordan is having herself a miserable Halloween, her friends have plans, her family is away, and her horror movie marathon just isn't the same alone. At least she can turn off the porch light and shut out the world. Bad idea. Some visitors don't take a dark porch for an answer. Some keep

4:00 on knocking, and some Halloween traditions aren't traditions at all. They're rules. So, just like every Halloween since 2019, Shane Migliavaca and myself bring you a Halloween horror story to help you get into the spirit and hopefully be a warning. Follow the rules, my spookies. Porch light on. Candy at the ready. Jack-o'-lantern lit. I pray you'll be listening on Monday.

4:52 Mischief Night, a Halloween Carol by Shane Migliavaca Halloween was fucking dead. There was no doubt about that. Eliza Jordan belched, rubbing her stomach. She'd eaten way too much sesame chicken. On TV, a buxom, raven-haired woman in a black dress sat up in a coffin. A spider brooch gleamed above her cleavage. Stay tuned, ghouls and boils. Lady Dementia's Halloween Horror-Thon. We'll be right back. Eliza glanced down at the coffee table and picked up her phone. No new messages. Bullshit.

5:39 The teen sighed, setting her phone on the coffee table. Everyone had somewhere to be but her. Not that she wanted to be anywhere else but here, watching horror movies. Just not alone. Last Halloween, she'd watched the Horror-Thon with her father and brother. It was tradition. Every year they sat around for Lady Dementia on Channel 45. Eliza, her mom, dad, and brother, though mom usually bowed out a little ways in when it got too scary for her. Next to her phone was a note. We'll be at the Hooper's Halloween party. Here's money for supper. Eliza gathered up the dirty plates. She trudged out to the kitchen, dumping the plates in the sink. A picture on the fridge caught her eye. Johnny, her brother, in uniform who was currently stationed overseas. Everything was different now. She didn't like it.

6:45 The doorbell rang. Had Terry and Tina come to surprise her? She knew better. They had dates. Trick or treat! Eliza dumped candy in the bags of the excited costumed kids and closed the door. One candy bar left. Fuck it. She turned off the outside light. Little rugrats don't need any more candy. My sick little puppies, Lady Dementia crooned. Up next, don't open the door. Don't plan to. Eliza unwrapped the candy bar. She watched TV only half following the film, but mostly feeling sorry for herself. There was a knock at the door. One, two, three, four knocks. Slow. Really?

7:47 The lights are off. With a sigh, she stood. Four more. Slow. Deliberate knocks. Yeah, yeah. Unlocking the door, Eliza pulled it open, frowning. Trick or treat! Three kids stood there, wearing ghastly paper mache masks. A pumpkin, a witch, and a skeleton. They each held plastic jack-o'-lanterns up, each full of candy. Trick or treat! Sorry, kids. She held up the empty glass bowl, all out of candy. They stared up at her, their eyes wide. You guys got plenty anyway. She closed the door and locked it. Halfway back to the couch came four more knocks. She sighed angrily, turned on her heel and went back. pulling the door open. Trick or treat!

8:59 It was the same three kids. Look, we're all out. We want our candy, they said in unison. I don't know what to tell you. We want the candy we're owed. Whoa. Owed? Or else... Go home, you little shits. We call hijinks. They pointed her. Jinx, jinx, jinx. They danced around. Jinx, jinx, jinx. The skeleton pointed an accusing finger at her. You broke the rules. The two danced behind him. Jinx, jinx, jinx.

9:49 Last house on Halloween. the boy said. We need our offering. Eliza slammed the door shut, locking it. Fuck. She leaned against the door for a moment, then peeked out of the peephole. They were gone. Collapsing on the couch, Eliza wondered how Terry and Tina's dates with Ben and Jimmy to the haunted hayride were going right now. They didn't even invite her. Of course, of course she didn't have a date. This is a special news bulletin. We interrupt the movie for a weather update. There's a severe storm headed to Hanover County through Red Hills. Rain with winds exceeding.

10:41 Eliza sat up. That was headed this way. She plucked her phone from the coffee table and typed in her mom's number. Hello? Mom, I saw on the news there's a big storm coming. Your father told me. The phone crackled with interference. We'll be here. Wait out the storm. Be safe, honey. Okay, mom. She set the phone down, glancing at the TV. They'd gone back to the movie. She clutched a pillow and curled up. Eliza woke with a snort. They're coming to get you, Barbara. There was a different movie on. How long had she slept? Reaching out, her fingers touched the table. Where the hell was her phone?

11:35 She bolted up and frantically searched the room to no avail. The house loudly creaked as the winds started up outside, followed by large raindrops pelting the house. Peering out the window, a bolt of lightning shot through the clouds illuminating three figures on the lawn. Those damn kids. Yanking open the door, she hollered over the storm. Hey! Go home! You can't be out in this! We want what's owed us. They pointed at her. Jinx! Jinx! Jinx! She slammed the door shut. Shit, shit, shit.

12:21 She pressed her back to the door. Those little bastards. Eliza jumped. It came from the kitchen. The back door. Had she locked it? Sliding into the kitchen on bare feet, she found the door open. the wind slamming it against the wall. Starting towards the door, the wind's strength grew, pushing her back into the counter. The pots and pans hanging over rattled and clanged. Eliza lunged forward, pushing the door shut, locking it. She peered out at the back lawn. Nothing.

13:12 Trick or treat! The living room. She raced out to find a scene on the TV of kids going door to door on Halloween. A woman walked with a young girl dressed as Dracula. The woman appeared to be... Eliza's mother. The memory hit her like a bolt. She was ten, trick-or-treating with her mom. How could that be on TV? She was dreaming. She'd had a bad egg roll. Had to be it. The scene flowed from the TV around her, grainy like a home movie. There was a dark-haired girl, dressed as a fairy. Abby Spencer. Abby stuck her foot out as Eliza walked by. She went down, candy spilling everywhere.

14:08 My candy! Abby ran off, laughing. Mom bent down next to Eliza. It'll be okay, honey. You still have some candy. We'll go home and I'll make you some hot chocolate. I don't want to go home. I want my candy. Calm down, Eliza. It's okay. Shut up. It's not okay. I want my candy. You're making a scene. We're going home. No! I hate you! The picture... went static. Had she really acted like that? A hot wave of shame hit her.

14:50 A second later, a bagel hit her in the back of the head. What the royal fuck? She spun around. The kid with the pumpkin mask stood in the kitchen. What the hell are you doing in here? The pumpkin kid laughed and ran off, followed by a loud crash from the kitchen. She stomped towards the kitchen more angry than creeped out. Scattered on the floor was her mom's silverware drawer. The kids stood by the counter. That's it, you little shit. She grabbed their arm. You're out of here, storm or not. The kid clawed her arm. She yelped and let go. The kid's hand was a monstrous-looking claw.

15:39 Give us our candy. he took a swipe at her. Grabbing a rolling pin from the counter, Eliza swung, clocking the pumpkin kid in the head. He fell hard to the floor. Fuck! She'd just killed a kid. Looking at the bloody claw marks on her arm, it was self-defense, right? The police would believe that, right? A jury would believe that, right? Kid? You alright? You... alive? She wanted to touch him, but something told her no. Kid? She nudged him with her bare foot. He bolted up, wrapping his claws around her leg and pulled. Off balance, Eliza fell. The pumpkin dug his nails in, dragging his talons down her leg. Hey, let go, you little turd! With her free leg, she kicked.

16:47 The kid growled at her, digging his claws in harder. Scrambling for a weapon, she grabbed a fork from the floor. She stabbed him in the arm. He let go, and with both legs, she kicked him into the counter. His head slammed into the edge of the countertop. Crawling away, Eliza felt her leg bleeding. That little shit. The kid lay there, slumped against the counter. Wincing, she looked at her leg. Her pajamas were ripped, and there were jagged scratches. They needed to be cleaned. What about the kid thing?

17:28 Was it even human? A demon? A goblin? She was being ridiculous, of course. He was human. A human with claws, but human. She stepped towards him, Part of his crude papier-mâché mask was ripped. What was underneath was no child. Gray skin, beady yellow eyes, large, pointed teeth. Eliza backed away. Her leg throbbed with pain. She needed to do something about that. But first, gingerly grabbing the thing's legs, she put him in the pantry. and locked the door. Let the cops deal with it. Damn it, Eliza winced as she bandaged her leg. A sense of helplessness stewed in her gut. The storm raged as her mind turned to the other two kids. Were they out there somewhere or in the house? She decided to take one more look for her phone. Looking for this? A voice cackled. The witch stood there with her phone. Give that! She tried to swipe it from the girl's grasp. The witch laughed

19:00 and ran down the hall. Oh, you little bitch! Eliza chased her as the witch ran into her mom and dad's bedroom. Charging in, Eliza landed on the living room couch, the bedroom having vanished. A girl shrieked, making her jump. A fake plastic skeleton appeared on the TV. Terry and Tina walked by it. It's not that scary, Tina sighed. We've been through three times already. They were at the McCain Haunted Barn. It was the last stop on the haunted hayride. Well, Terry sighed, we're stuck because of the storm.

19:45 And our asshole dates ditched us. Wish Eliza was here. She'd dig this. Me too, Eliza whispered, looking at her friends on the flickering screen. I would have hung out and watched horror movies, Tina admitted, if she'd offered. Me too, Terry agreed. But she's never asked. Eliza touched the screen. The TV clicked off. From upstairs came the sound of a child running, followed by the laugh of a little girl.

20:27 The little witch bitch had her phone up there. Outside, the wind roared on. Eliza went to the kitchen. She wasn't going up empty-handed. Her mother had made a batch of brownies yesterday. Peeling the foil back, Eliza put three on a plate. How about some sprinkles on top? She took a box of rat poison from under the sink and poured some on the brownies. Picking up the plate, she let out a mischievous laugh. Hey, little girl. Eliza walked up the stairs holding the plate. How about a peace offering? She reached the top. Her eyes scanned the hall.

21:16 Witch girl stepped out of the shadows, holding the phone. Eliza sat the plate down and backed away. Something to make up for before. The witch looked at Eliza, then the plate. Yummy, Eliza rubbed her stomach. Yummy, the witch girl smiled. Eliza nodded. Witch girl set the phone down. A clawed hand reached out for a brownie. That's right. It lifted its mask, slightly. Eliza felt a shiver at the sight of its yellowed fangs. It chewed, crumbs tumbling down.

22:00 Then it took another one. After finishing the second, the witch burped. It stumbled back, holding its chest. Oh, a little heartburn? Witch Girl started to foam at the mouth and fell backwards, convulsing, before going still. Eliza watched the body. It remained still. Eliza reached for her phone. Witch Girl sat up, grabbing Eliza's hand, clawing her. Oh, you little bitch! Eliza slapped it, knocking the mask off. With her free hand, she grabbed the last brownie and shoved it into the witch's mouth. Eat it! The witch girl let go of her.

22:49 It doubled over, emitting a gurgling sound. It looked at Eliza. A stream of green vomit shot out of its mouth, blasting her in the face. Then it keeled over and lay still. Eliza sat there for a moment, then wiped at the puke on her face. Picking up the phone, she clicked it on. Low battery flashed briefly on the screen before it turned off. Hurrying downstairs, Eliza grabbed her charger. Then the lights went out. She went to the window. The lights were out everywhere. She was alone in the dark.

23:33 No phone, no way to get help. In the darkness, a child giggled. Eliza needed light. The closet by the front door. She remembered her dad showing her a lantern for emergencies. She walked slowly, hands out. Damn! She stubbed her toe on the coffee table. Reaching out, she made her way along the wall. to the closet door. She hoped nothing was hiding inside. Eliza was showered with gloves and mittens as she felt along the shelf. Bingo. On tippy-toes, she grabbed the lantern. There was a crank on its side.

24:26 She kept turning it until the lantern charged. Let there be light, she chuckled, holding it up. Her eyes adjusted after being in the dark. She stepped forward and fell. Dirt. Eliza could taste it. Where the hell was she? Sitting up, the lantern illuminated four dirt walls of a rectangular hole in the ground. Staring up, she could see clouds with stars peeking through. Underneath her, dirt and something else. Something solid. Wood. Oh, fuck me. It was a closed casket set deep in a freshly dug grave. Thump. The casket lid reverberated as something hit it from inside. Thump. Eliza saw a long tree root half buried in the dirt wall. She grabbed it and frantically started climbing. Overhead came a flash of lightning, then a deafening crash of thunder. Rain poured down. The casket lid flew open below her, and a hag-like corpse sat up. It looked up at her with milky white eyes.

26:01 Come back! Maggots spilled out of its mouth as she reached up with a clawed, decayed hand. I'm so lonely. Eliza climbed, trying not to lose her grip. Stay with me. The root stung her hands as she struggled climbing. Come back. I'm so lonely. She reached the top, coming face to face with With the gravestone illuminated by lightning, she read, Here lies Eliza Jordan. She died alone. No! No! She shook her head. It's not true! A shadow fell across her.

26:56 She looked up. Perched on the gravestone was Skeleton Boy. He reached down and pushed her. Her hand slipped from the root, and Eliza tumbled back. The corpse grabbed her. Stay with me! It pressed its bony fingers into Eliza's arm. Let go, you old bat! Eliza punched it in the mouth, sending teeth and maggots flying, its jaw hung crooked, half-attached. The undead hag grabbed her free arm. With a cold, vice-like grip, it pulled her into the casket. Down through the folds of polyester lining, the casket appeared to be bottomless.

27:50 As it dragged her down, the casket vanished. They were falling. The cold wind and rain hit her like a sledgehammer. Below her was the roof of a house. Her house. It was fast approaching. The hag wouldn't let go. Even now. That roof was uncomfortably close now. Closer. They were going to hit. Eliza closed her eyes. She hit something. Soft. Eliza sat up with a start. Lightning flashed. She was in her room, on her bed, soaked and covered in mud.

28:42 I'm so cold. A gnarled hand grabbed her leg. The hag peered over the edge of the bed. Motherfucker, Eliza gasped. Lightning flashed, forcing her eyes to readjust. She gave the hag a kick in the head with the bottom of her foot. Its forehead caved in as pus oozed out. That was enough for Eliza to get loose. She stumbled towards the bathroom that connected her room to her brother's. The hag crawled toward her as Eliza made it to the bathroom. Come back, dearie. It scuttled into the bathroom.

29:26 Eliza lifted the lid off the toilet tank. Batter up, bitch. She swung. Knocking the hag's head clean off, it bounced off the wall and plopped in the toilet. Oh, yeah. The headless body frantically reached for a head that wasn't there as thick, green liquid shot from its neck. Eliza laughed hysterically as the body fell in the tub. Quickly, she brought the heavy ceramic lid down, crushing its chest in. She dropped the lid on the body. She leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. One asshole left. Skeleton. Time to go hunting. Eliza grabbed her brother's bow and quiver of arrows from his room, a weapon she was proficient with since the weapon's owner taught her to use it when she'd gone through a rather intense Hunger Games phase. Eliza then slid a case out from under Johnny's bed and procured night vision goggles. Sufficiently armed, she exited, quietly, very quietly.

30:47 Back against the wall, Eliza crouched at the top of the stairs. Rain hammered the roof like fevered fingers playing piano. The house groaned as wind screamed through the cracks, punctuated by thunder that made the structure shake violently. Eliza knocked an arrow, the bowstring creaking like a casket lid. She passed the witch's body, its front covered in crumbs of poisoned brownies and barf. Come out, you little bony bastard, Eliza whispered. A giggle echoed from downstairs. High-pitched, playful, unearthly.

31:32 She moved down the stairs slowly, silently, bare feet on cold wood. The night vision painted everything in a ghostly light. Another giggle, closer this time, from the living room. Eliza raised the bow, drew it back until her arm burned. She stepped. into the living room. Nothing. The TV flickered to life, static. Then Lady Dementia's face filled the screen, grinning wide. My sick little puppies, how's your Halloween been?

32:17 Pretty crummy, Eliza whispered. Behind her, a floorboard creaked. She spun, A shadow darted across the hallway. Eliza let an arrow fly. It sunk deep into the wall opposite. A giggle in the darkness. Loading another arrow, she crept forward. There was movement in the kitchen, and skeleton mask behind which shone amber eyes. We want what we're owed. What's with you little fuckers and the kitchen? Skeleton leapt over the kitchen counter as Eliza let another arrow fly. It grazed the being's shoulder, but it just kept coming. Landing on all fours, it ran toward her like a rabid dog, sharp nails scraping the floor. Grabbing an arrow, she sent another missile at the skeleton. The boy rolled, causing Eliza to maddeningly miss her mark once again. It struck. ripping new bloody blooms across her calf. Fuck you! Eliza screamed as she shot at it again. This time, she didn't miss. The arrow shattered the papier-mâché mask. Underneath was pure nightmare. A skull-like face, teeth too long and jagged for any child, and yellow eyes burning in the sockets. One which was

33:49 pierced by an arrow. The creature grabbed the shaft of the arrow and yanked. The arrow came free with a stomach-churning wet squelch. Then it charged her. She sprinted into the living room, the creature on her heels. It was faster than the others. It leapt onto her back, claws digging into her shoulders. Pain exploded as it bit down, teeth like needles. The bow fell to the floor, skittering away. She screamed. slammed backward into the wall once, twice. On the third slam, something cracked. Skeleton Boy lost its grip and fell. Eliza spun, stomping down hard on its ribcage. Jinx, it rasped. The creature shuddered, its remaining yellow eye flickered.

34:47 It clawed at her, but she jumped back. Eliza grabbed the heavy brass lamp from the end table. You want what's owed? She raised it high. Here's your fucking candy. She brought the lamp down again and again. Green ichor sprayed across the carpet. The thing let out a piercing wail. She kept swinging until the thing stopped moving. Until the only sound was her own ragged breathing and the storm outside. Finally, she stepped back, chest heaving, covered in blood, puke, and green slime. The night vision goggles hung crooked on her face.

35:33 The creature's remains twitched once. A pulsing green mist escaped from its broken body, rising to knee height and spreading across the floor like living fog. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Four slow, deliberate knocks at the front door. Eliza froze, lamp still gripped in her bloody hands. Hello? Who's there? The knob turned. The door creaked open. A tall, impossibly thin figure ducked under the frame. His face was skeletal, leathery skin stretched tight over unyielding bone. Long white hair framed a stovepipe hat. He wore an old-fashioned black suit that hung off his elongated limbs like a funeral drape.

36:32 A spider brooch gleamed upon his left lapel. He straightened slowly, towering over her. My children, the figure rasped, voice like dry leaves scraping across a grave. I was summoned. He reached down with spider-long fingers and touched the remains of Skeleton Boy. The green mist swirled toward him like it was returning home. They attacked me first, Eliza stammered, gripping the lamp tighter. I was just trying to... There was a debt, the man said calmly. You broke the oldest rule of Mischief Night. No offerings. No mercy. I ate one fucking candy bar. Her voice cracked between terror and rage.

37:31 That's it? That's what this was all about? The tall man tilted his head, the stovepipe hat casting a long shadow across his face. For a moment, the green mist formed faint shapes of the three dead children all around him, laughing, pointing, chanting jinx. Then the mist faded away. You have paid in blood and fear, he said, but debts must be settled in full. Eliza raised the lamp, ready to swing. Then come collect it, you bony bastard. The figure smiled, revealing rows of needle teeth, but instead of attacking, he tipped his hat. Next year, Eliza Jordan, leave the light on and have plenty of candy. With that, he stepped backward into the storm. The door slammed shut by itself.

38:40 The green mist vanished completely. The power flickered back on. Lady Dementia's voice returned from the television, cheerful as ever. Congratulations, my little ghoul. You survived the horror-thon. But remember, the night always collects its due. Eliza stood in the wreckage of her living room. Broken furniture, blood, bone fragments, and a candy wrapper. all served as morbid decoration. She looked down at her trembling, bloody hands. Then she laughed, a short, exhausted, slightly unhinged laugh. She walked to the kitchen, opened the pantry, and stared. at the mess inside. Tomorrow, she'll clean. Tomorrow, she'd call Terry and Tina. Tomorrow, she would be different.

39:42 There on the floor, she found a note. There's extra candy in the cupboard. And there, sitting next to a box of crackers, was a full bag of Halloween candy. Eliza laughed and laughed. Outside, in the dying storm, faint giggles echoed down the empty street. Ha ha ha! Well, my spookies, that is one expensive candy bar. This Halloween, remember, keep the candy stocked. Keep that porch light glow and bright and the heavy lamps within your reach. I hope you have a safe, fun, and very satisfying Halloween, my spookies.

40:46 You all are what keeps me going and going as well as the show. I can't believe we're heading into the seventh year, but I can believe that we're not going to stop. Every day is Halloween when it lives on inside you. Not only inside the way you decorate your home or the way you dress, but in the way you treat people. You see, I'm not talking about terrorizing them per se, but treating them with that spooky, gleeful joy. that Halloween brings out in all of us. The monster inside us that really is just a playful creature.

41:28 That's why I love doing the show. So, before I leave you, I'm not going to plug anything, I'm not going to ask for anything, I'm just going to say thank you so much. I'll be right here starting Monday with a new terrifying and true, so until then, keep your head on a swivel while you clean off that Halloween makeup