Sept. 15, 2023
Bonus Spooky - Splintered in Her Head by Morgan Moore

A young woman's former self rises from the grave she created and is hungry for his old life...
Splintered in Her Head by Morgan Moore
Contact Us/Submit a Story
twitter.com/WeeklySpooky
facebook.com/WeeklySpooky
https://gmail.com/
Music by Ray...
A young woman's former self rises from the grave she created and is hungry for his old life...
Splintered in Her Head by Morgan Moore
Contact Us/Submit a Story
twitter.com/WeeklySpooky
facebook.com/WeeklySpooky
WeeklySpooky@gmail.com
Music by Ray Mattis http://raymattispresents.bandcamp.com
Executive Producer Rob Fields
Produced by Daniel Wilder
This episode sponsored by
HenFlix.com
For everything else visit
WeeklySpooky.com
WEBVTT
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Hello, my spookies. It's not
Wednesday, so you're not confused. This
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is a special bonus episode that I
wanted to share with everybody because it's a
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phenomenal story written by our very own
Morgan Moore. As you may or may
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not know, Morgan has written many, many great stories for us here at
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Weekly Spooky, and she wrote this
one especially for you out there. This
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one represents a lot about Morgan's life
that is very important to her, and
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I think everybody can relate to an
extent. So get comfortable because this is
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a wild, rocky and heart wrenching
ride. So give it a listen and
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I'll be back on our regularly scheduled
time this Monday with another episode of Terrifying
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and True, So enjoy the story. After these quick words splintered in her
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head by Morgan Moore, Lulu Dubois
walks through the vast back yard of her
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property and into a small wooded area. In her hands is a selection of
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flowers picked from a nearby greenery.
She treks through the trees until an opening
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in the woods opens up to reveal
a small garden. Her walk does not
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end until she reaches the far side
of the garden. In front of her
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is a circle of painted rocks that
surround a handmade cross. Nailed in the
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middle is a small wooden plaque that
reads, here lies Louis Dubois nineteen ninety
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five to two thousand and twenty one. Lulu lowers herself to sit on both
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her knees, brushing the skirt of
her dress under her body to make sure
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it doesn't ride up or wrinkle.
The twenty seven year old places the bouquet
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by the cross. She stares at
the homemade marker for the burial site.
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May you continue to find some rest
in the after and thank you for being
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a part of me for twenty seven
years. Non religious, Lulu makes the
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sign of the cross anyways before standing
up. She turns around to find another
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woman named Denise behind her. Paying
your respects, she asks Lulu, m
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it is the anniversary, after all, Lulu answers. Denise looks past Lulu
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and at the marker. I suppose
it is. She speaks in a tone
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that she hopes comes off as fat, but it is betrayed by the tinge
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of sorrow present in her expression and
the emphasis on the word suppose. Her
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companion looks at her with an equally
sorrowful expression. You miss him, don't
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you? How could I not?
I knew him for five years. He's
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only a name and a shell,
like a snake shedding its skin for a
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new one. Besides. Lulu pauses
and wraps her arms around Denise's neck,
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stares into her eyes longingly and lovingly. I'm here. Denise smiles and gives
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Lulu a kiss. Yeah, I
guess that does make it okay, at
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least a little bit. She finishes
her sentence with a sarcastic grin. Lulu
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rolls her eyes and pokes Denise's head
to push her away, laughing. Denise
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runs away from her lover and out
of the garden, disappearing into the woods.
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Lulu starts to chase after her,
but pauses at the opening into the
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woods and turns to look at the
grave site. Goodbye me, she finishes,
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before running after her love. Lulu
du Bois was born Luis du Bois.
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For twenty one years, he lived
what could be called a normal life,
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But in the middle of that twenty
first year, something began to change.
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First it was simply the occasional thought. Then it became a small voice
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in the back of his head.
Soon it became full blown, vivid dreams
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that seemed near prophetic and to offer
a glimpse at another reality, another life
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that could be and should be.
So in a moment of bravery after soul
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searching, Luis came out as being
transgender and that he was indeed a she.
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Luis was, for all purposes dead. In his place was Lulu.
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At first, the declaration was rocky
with those in her life, in particular
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her wife, Denise and her family. While Lulu's friends and family were welcoming
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and accepting, it was her wife's
that wasn't. Denise flatly told Lulu at
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the start that she did not like
this and was not sure if the couple
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would stay together. Her mother in
law said that if her own child came
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out as tramp that she wouldn't accept
that child anymore. It was a mindset
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shared by the majority of Denise's family. Yet time showed that even if it
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was a massive change and challenge of
beliefs, that Lulu was still the same
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as she used to be, save
for unleashing herself. Denise eventually came around
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and while they still had their own
issues as a whole in being a couple,
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the love was still there. Lulu's
in laws came around in the form
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of the father and the mother,
though the rest remained tolerant of her identity.
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Now it was a year later,
and in that time Lulu had completely
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changed her wardrobe, started HRT,
done all of the necessary work to get
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her ID changed, and was in
the process of getting her birth certificate changed
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in addition to scheduling her bottom surgery. All to be as true to herself
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as she can be and finally start
living, really living. Despite all all
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of the heartache at the start and
the ever lingering dysphoria, Lulu knew it
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was all worth it, no matter
what may come. Dusk was settling over
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the land as Lulu and Denise sat
in matching rocking chairs on their back porch.
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The two were reading while taking short
breaks to sip from their coffee.
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In the distance, crickets chirked.
Their normal serenade courtesy of owls, was
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absent during their meal. Lulu had
noticed a general lack of birds in the
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area, and the missing owls added
to the strangeness. The silence was eerie
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and made her feel on edge.
To combat it, she had turned on
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the portable radio they kept on the
porch and clicked it over to a classical
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station. Lulu hated the quiet.
It always put her on edge and gave
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way for her mind to wander into
the dark places where it often played tricks
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on her tempted her to give it
all up in both who she was and
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existing in the most basic terms.
A matching set of scars on wrists and
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one on her neck were proof of
how badly the thoughts could get, Thoughts
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of how transitioning was all a mistake, how Denise would leave her in due
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time for a normal heterosexual relationship,
and of how she was a screw up
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in life as a whole. The
eeriness of the evening silence was overpowering the
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presence of the radio, and Lulu's
thoughts were beginning to walk her down the
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worst parts of her mind. When
a rustling in the trees caught her attention
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normal for any given day, something
about it put Lulu on edge. Watching
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the trees, she noted that every
five minutes, a new unknown source of
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wind would blow in and rustle the
trees, the intensity of which grew with
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each gust. Denise could see her
partner's trance like attention on the trees.
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What you watching? Her answer came
quietly, with her standing up from her
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chair as another gust ran through.
Denise watched Lulu being mesmerized by the happening.
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Five minutes later, it happened again. This time, however, Lulu
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left the back porch and walked towards
the woods. Entering the forest, Lulu
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was both aware of where she was
and unaware of why she was there.
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She was simply reading a Billy Martin
novel. Then she felt what could only
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be described as a flex and side
of her mind, as if some invisible
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presence was bending her thought process to
its own desires. Was it something in
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the wind the air? She didn't
know. To her, the sudden gusts
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of wind and lack of birds reminded
her of when a bad storm is about
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to occur, and the animals scattered
to the four winds. What little remained
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of the sun seemed to all but
vanish in the blink of an eye while
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Lulu walked through the woods. Night
was now the dominant phase of the day,
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blanketing the world around Lulu in a
haze of black and blue. Her
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walk through the woods was no longer
a stroll she had done multiple times,
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both in the day and at night, but was now something that felt like
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it was ripped from a nightmare.
Her steps brought her past the woods and
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into the garden and right about to
the makeshift grave for her former self.
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She stopped then and stared down at
the marker what she started as if ready
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to give a reply. The earth
began to tremble violently. Lulu's footing wavered,
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and she found herself on her knees, a ghastly sound that she could
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only liken to dry leaves and sticks
burning rattles through the region as the ground
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cracked and then split massively open around
her and the grave marker. Lulu cautiously
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walked on her hands and knees over
to the makeshift grave and peered down the
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opening in the earth darkness. Only
darkness greets her at first. A few
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heartbeats later, and up from the
depths rise like molten lava or a fallen
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angel returning from hell. Is something
horrific. Lulu looks at the being in
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shock and horror in her eyes,
as something she truly believed she would never
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see again. It was her,
or rather him, for in front of
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the woman known as Lulu Dubois was
her former self, her self pre transition,
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Louis DUIs. Well, hey there, fraud, Louis said tauntingly.
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At his reflection, Lulu could not
believe her eyes. She never expected to
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see the visage of her old self
ever again. In the flesh. Pictures
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were one thing. Her parents speaking
about her as a kid with male pronouns,
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while slightly irksome, was something she
could look past. Videos or audio
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recordings were like the pictures. But
this, this was flesh and blood.
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Everything about how Lulu looked pre transition, pre coming out was present. The
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short, naturally copper hair, the
facial hair that formed a beard, the
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more masculine physique, everything, and
the voice. The voice that Lulu buried
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by learning how to feminize hers by
singing songs from musicals was not present.
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But the one that was akin to
her father's, if not a tad softer
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was accounted for. How Lulu questioned, you didn't think you could kill me,
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did you? But I, she
struggled to string the words together.
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You simply put on a costume.
That's all you've done. Not to mention
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becoming a junkie, Luis tells the
other. Lulu looks at the ghost from
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her past in astonishment. A junkie. What else do you call somebody who
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claims they can't live without their medicine? You call them a drug addict,
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A junkie, that's what you are. I've heard you tell people that without
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your HRT, your hormone drugs,
that you wouldn't be able to live.
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But they let me be me,
Lulu respond, that's what any dope head
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or drunkard would say. No,
Luis walks up to Lulu and kneels down.
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He takes her face in his hands
and stares at her. You are
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a phony. You will never be
a real woman. You're just some character,
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made up an actor who's gone way
too far into method acting. You're
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not real and you don't have any
right to exist, let alone kill me,
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which, by the way, you
can't. I'll always be here and
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not any drug or mutilation you do
to your body will change that. You
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fake. Now, how about you
throw yourself down that pit so that I
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can get back to living and to
my wife. Luis pushes Lulu away by
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her face, leaving her sprawled out
on the ground. He walks past her,
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jumping over a divide in the earth
like it was nothing. Before leaving
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the garden, Louis pauses and looks
towards Lulu. The least you could have
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done is just be a faggot.
At least then you could have been acceptable,
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if not tolerable. The words stung. It hurt Lulu to where,
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whether by it or whatever force had
a grip on her mind, sent her
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into shock. As Louis left the
garden weekly Spooky will be right back.
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After these quick messages, Lulu laid
on tattered earth, still in shock from
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the events that had just unfolded.
How is this even possible? The presence,
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the appearance of Luis was too surreal. He certainly was no ghost.
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The firmness of his hand touching her
face was proof of that. A demon,
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a devil, a wraith. What
was he? What was she?
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Maybe Louis was right and Lulu was
only an illusion. It could be plausible
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that she was only imaginary and that
he had always existed. The young woman
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thought about how while her friends were
accepting that, there was the awkward phase
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of them getting used to everything,
same with her family. What suddenly flooded
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her mind were the moments with Denise, the anger she had at the confession
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of her partner being transgender. How
that was not who she had married and
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taken vows with the lack of support
until much later, most of all Denise
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saying that she did not think she
could or would be able to love this
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newly born woman or want to keep
their marriage, their relationship going. How
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Lulu could have and almost more than
likely lost her one, her only,
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her soulmate. Lulu rolled over and
crawled to the opening in the earth.
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She stared down the hole into the
utter darkness. The blackness stared back at
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her, singing to her inside her
head, it was only comparable to every
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negative thought, every instance of dysphoria, every insult she ever heard. Perhaps
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more concerning to Lulu was how gentle
it sounded, how comforting, how reasonable,
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how peaceful. Within that void could
be bliss another life, perhaps in
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which Lulu was always Lulu and never
Louis. Maybe it would be best to
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let Luis live again and give Denise
back her partner, her husband. Lulu
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closed her eyes and tried to think, tried to decide. The force that
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led her through the woods to her
homemade cemetery flexed in her head showed her
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the joy that luis living would give, whether by the force or on her
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own. Lulu found her muscles preparing
to launch herself over the edge and into
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a dark oblivion. Over her legs
went, then her hips and waist her
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lower torso and an arm. Lulu
opened her eyes and found herself hanging by
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one hand. She stared up at
the night sky and into the moon.
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Whether by a higher power or other
supernatural phenomenon, Lulu saw the face of
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Denise. She was laughing, smiling
all down at her. You're a silly
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little one, my hummingbird, she
heard in her head. Hummingbird was a
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nickname Denise gave Lulu. She once
told Lulu that they can be a sign
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of hope. Lulu squeezed her eyes
shut and started to cry. She wanted
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to let go, yet found herself
unable to. I love you forever and
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always, the voice of Denise told
her. Lulu's eyes shot open. I
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love you too, forever and always. Using all of her strength, Lulu
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pulled her body up until she could
reach her other hand and get a grip
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on the edge of the pit.
She strained her muscles to raise herself upwards.
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Once willing to fall down the pit. Lulu now feared that it would
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happen. She wanted to escape this
pit. Lulu let out a defiant scream
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and hauled herself out and back onto
the ground where her garden once was.
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She panted heavily from physical exhaustion.
Lulu felt as if she could go to
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sleep for a good few days,
but she couldn't. She knew there was
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no way she could go to sleep
until this thing was finished. Lulu slowly
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got to her feet, took a
few deep breaths, and ran back into
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the woods. Lulu dashed through the
forest without a clue to her surroundings.
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Her body knew where she was going, but her mind, still recovering from
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presumably Luis having his hold on her, she did not take notice of any
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hazards she could encounter. As such, Lulu found herself gaining cuts along her
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feet, legs, arms, and
hands from running into and through branches,
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wild grass, and rocks. Despite
the more perilous path taken, Lulu soon
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found herself out of the woods and
in her own backyard. Across the vastness
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of her property, she saw her
house. At the distance she was Lulu
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could only see the glimmers or candle
light through the window, but Lulu knew
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the two were inside. Cautiously,
Lulu crossed the backyard and entered the house.
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She stood in her kitchen and let
herself sink into the eerie quiet of
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the home. The first floor was
completely dark, save for the small amounts
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of moonlight that poked through the windows. Knowing the threat that was present was
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otherworldly, but wanting to try and
combat it in human terms, Lulu grabbed
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a knife from a carving block before
leaving the kitchen. Doing her best to
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imitate what she had seen in various
movies, she begins to sweep through the
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first floor, Finding nothing, She
makes her way to the stairs and looks
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up them. At the top of
the landing, she could see the faint
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glimmer of candlelight. With the first
floor clear, there was only one other
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place to look. Taking a deep
breath, Lulu climbs up the stairs,
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taking each step cautiously. Now at
the top of them, she cranes her
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neck right and left nothing to her
left. To the right, at the
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end of the hallway is the bedroom. The door was shut, but Lulu
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could see light flickering from the gap
between the bottom of the door and the
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floor. Letting her body think for
her, Lulu charged at the door,
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positioning one of her shoulders to be
ran directly into it. Her body,
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led by her shoulders, slammed into
the door, busting it open. Lulu
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stumbled some as she slowed herself down
before finally finding her footing inside of the
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room or Denise and him. Denise
was huddled up in a corner of the
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room while Lulu's former self stood by. Both of their eyes went to Lulu.
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Huh, what are you doing here? Luis asked Lulu. What Denise
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tried to ask. I'm here to
put you down to rest, Lulu told
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her old self. Louis chuckled at
the comment. Q tried that once and
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it didn't work. As I recall, you're right, it didn't. I
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thought I could simply bury you,
whether it was in my mind, in
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the memories of those around me,
or even metaphorically by giving you a tombstone.
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So what makes you think it will
work now? I will always be
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here in her, in your parents
and your friends, and in you.
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That's true, you always will be
here. The thing is, though,
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while you did exist once, I
exist now. Lulu says, I'm waiting
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to hear how if you agree with
my presence always being around, how you
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plan to put me to rest?
Louis replied mockingly, It's simple. I've
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been so afraid of people forgetting who
I am, and you coming back,
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afraid that if my care stops my
addiction as you claim it is, that
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I'd be forced to go back to
being you. That everybody I know in
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love would rather have you than me. But whether it was some divine power
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or some voice in my head finally
saying it, I know now that I
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don't have to be and that I
shouldn't be afraid of you and give your
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once existing power over my life.
Now you did exist for that brief number
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of years you lived your life,
but now I exist, and it's my
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turn to live, especially without being
afraid of you. Louis looks at the
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knife Lulu is gripping. You really
think that knife is going to stop me,
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or that, despite all of what
you said, that it's as simple
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as ignoring me. The house begins
to shake as the two Dubois stare each
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other down. Items hanging from the
walls fall to the floor as the foundation
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begins to crack. Denise carefully stands
up and starts to make her way over
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towards her wife. Louis grabs her
by the hair and yanks her to him.
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Lulu, Denise cries out in pain. I'm waiting, Louis taunted.
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If I gave you this power by
trying to bury you symbolically, then I
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have to undo it. Without much
pause after her words, Lulu threw the
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knife at her old self. Surprised
by the action and forgetting his supposed invulnerability,
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Luis ducked down and covered his head, letting go of Denise in the
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process. With her wife free,
Lulu dashed to her, took her by
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the hand, and sprinted out of
the bedroom. The couple raced down the
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steps as the house shaped violently as
if being assaulted by a tornado. At
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the bottom of the stairs, Lulu
leads Denise into the kitchen and out the
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back door. Where are we going? Denise shouts over the howling and evil
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winds that were bringing trees down all
around them as they ran across the backyard.
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Lulu didn't answer, she was much
too focused on getting the couple to
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their destination. They jump over a
fallen tree and sprint into the woods.
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Lulu led Denise by hand, still
doing her best to keep the two from
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00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:56.039
being caught by branches and bushes and
by anything Luis was presumably throwing at them.
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In no time flat, the pair
exited the woods into the once beautiful
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garden they had made. Lulu charged
right up to her homemade gravestone. She
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grasped both sides of the marker with
each hand and began to pull up.
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Her body, weakened from everything else
that has gone through this night, does
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00:23:12.759 --> 00:23:18.440
not quit though. Lulu groaned,
then grunted, then let out a scream
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as she pulled upwards on the gravestone, her muscles tightening until they feel like
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00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:26.640
they are going to tear, her
veins close to popping out of her skin.
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With one last flex though, Lulu
finally ripped the stone out from the
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00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:33.920
earth where she planted it. She
held it over her head with all her
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00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:38.599
might, and she waddled to where
an opening in the earth was, then
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threw the stone down. It fell
into the unknown depths of the earth and
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from wherever Luis came from. No
A horrific, distorted voice shrieks through the
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00:23:51.079 --> 00:23:56.039
night. Lulu and Denise covered their
ears from how shrill it was. The
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00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:00.799
earth stopped shaking, slowly closing it
self up from where it had cracked open.
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00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:06.559
Soon the wind ceased as well,
and in one last unnatural event,
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the moon, in the blink of
an eye, switched with a slowly rising
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sun. Lulu and Denise look at
each other, first in questioning what just
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00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:22.720
happened, then lovingly, oh,
Lulu, Denise cries, before embracing her
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00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:30.599
wife. I love you, Lulu
smiles forever and always, Denise replies.
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00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:37.279
The two pull apart some and kiss
slowly. Their lips pull away, and
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00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:41.920
the couple hug each other tightly once
more. As they hug, Lulu looks
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to where Luis's gravestone was, where
it once sat as a marker of fear.
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00:24:47.960 --> 00:24:52.160
Slowly there were flowers growing, a
combination of red and yellow. Lulu
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00:24:52.240 --> 00:25:00.480
smiled and closed her eyes as she
and her wife continue to embrace. M hmmm,
1
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:10.480
Hello, my spookies. It's not
Wednesday, so you're not confused. This
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00:00:10.599 --> 00:00:15.080
is a special bonus episode that I
wanted to share with everybody because it's a
3
00:00:15.119 --> 00:00:20.640
phenomenal story written by our very own
Morgan Moore. As you may or may
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00:00:20.679 --> 00:00:24.800
not know, Morgan has written many, many great stories for us here at
5
00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:31.280
Weekly Spooky, and she wrote this
one especially for you out there. This
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00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:36.799
one represents a lot about Morgan's life
that is very important to her, and
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00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:41.600
I think everybody can relate to an
extent. So get comfortable because this is
8
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:46.799
a wild, rocky and heart wrenching
ride. So give it a listen and
9
00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:52.119
I'll be back on our regularly scheduled
time this Monday with another episode of Terrifying
10
00:00:52.159 --> 00:01:06.400
and True, So enjoy the story. After these quick words splintered in her
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00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:12.319
head by Morgan Moore, Lulu Dubois
walks through the vast back yard of her
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00:01:12.359 --> 00:01:18.480
property and into a small wooded area. In her hands is a selection of
13
00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:23.640
flowers picked from a nearby greenery.
She treks through the trees until an opening
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00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:27.680
in the woods opens up to reveal
a small garden. Her walk does not
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00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:33.120
end until she reaches the far side
of the garden. In front of her
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00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:38.599
is a circle of painted rocks that
surround a handmade cross. Nailed in the
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00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:45.599
middle is a small wooden plaque that
reads, here lies Louis Dubois nineteen ninety
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00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:51.159
five to two thousand and twenty one. Lulu lowers herself to sit on both
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00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:55.239
her knees, brushing the skirt of
her dress under her body to make sure
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00:01:55.239 --> 00:02:00.599
it doesn't ride up or wrinkle.
The twenty seven year old places the bouquet
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00:02:00.680 --> 00:02:05.280
by the cross. She stares at
the homemade marker for the burial site.
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00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:08.879
May you continue to find some rest
in the after and thank you for being
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00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:15.199
a part of me for twenty seven
years. Non religious, Lulu makes the
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00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:19.919
sign of the cross anyways before standing
up. She turns around to find another
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00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:24.680
woman named Denise behind her. Paying
your respects, she asks Lulu, m
26
00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:31.159
it is the anniversary, after all, Lulu answers. Denise looks past Lulu
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00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:36.840
and at the marker. I suppose
it is. She speaks in a tone
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00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:40.199
that she hopes comes off as fat, but it is betrayed by the tinge
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00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:46.360
of sorrow present in her expression and
the emphasis on the word suppose. Her
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00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:52.680
companion looks at her with an equally
sorrowful expression. You miss him, don't
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00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:57.639
you? How could I not?
I knew him for five years. He's
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00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:00.919
only a name and a shell,
like a snake shedding its skin for a
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00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:07.439
new one. Besides. Lulu pauses
and wraps her arms around Denise's neck,
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00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:14.080
stares into her eyes longingly and lovingly. I'm here. Denise smiles and gives
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00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:19.199
Lulu a kiss. Yeah, I
guess that does make it okay, at
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00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:24.000
least a little bit. She finishes
her sentence with a sarcastic grin. Lulu
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00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:29.639
rolls her eyes and pokes Denise's head
to push her away, laughing. Denise
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00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:32.840
runs away from her lover and out
of the garden, disappearing into the woods.
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00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:38.479
Lulu starts to chase after her,
but pauses at the opening into the
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00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:46.159
woods and turns to look at the
grave site. Goodbye me, she finishes,
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00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:51.879
before running after her love. Lulu
du Bois was born Luis du Bois.
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00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:55.960
For twenty one years, he lived
what could be called a normal life,
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00:03:57.520 --> 00:04:00.919
But in the middle of that twenty
first year, something began to change.
44
00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:05.879
First it was simply the occasional thought. Then it became a small voice
45
00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:11.840
in the back of his head.
Soon it became full blown, vivid dreams
46
00:04:11.879 --> 00:04:16.560
that seemed near prophetic and to offer
a glimpse at another reality, another life
47
00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:21.879
that could be and should be.
So in a moment of bravery after soul
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00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:29.279
searching, Luis came out as being
transgender and that he was indeed a she.
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00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:34.519
Luis was, for all purposes dead. In his place was Lulu.
50
00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:40.680
At first, the declaration was rocky
with those in her life, in particular
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00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:46.040
her wife, Denise and her family. While Lulu's friends and family were welcoming
52
00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:50.079
and accepting, it was her wife's
that wasn't. Denise flatly told Lulu at
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00:04:50.120 --> 00:04:55.160
the start that she did not like
this and was not sure if the couple
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00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:59.360
would stay together. Her mother in
law said that if her own child came
55
00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:03.240
out as tramp that she wouldn't accept
that child anymore. It was a mindset
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00:05:03.319 --> 00:05:09.639
shared by the majority of Denise's family. Yet time showed that even if it
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00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:14.399
was a massive change and challenge of
beliefs, that Lulu was still the same
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00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:20.519
as she used to be, save
for unleashing herself. Denise eventually came around
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00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:25.000
and while they still had their own
issues as a whole in being a couple,
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00:05:25.399 --> 00:05:29.639
the love was still there. Lulu's
in laws came around in the form
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00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:33.120
of the father and the mother,
though the rest remained tolerant of her identity.
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00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:38.879
Now it was a year later,
and in that time Lulu had completely
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00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:43.959
changed her wardrobe, started HRT,
done all of the necessary work to get
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00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:47.519
her ID changed, and was in
the process of getting her birth certificate changed
65
00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:54.040
in addition to scheduling her bottom surgery. All to be as true to herself
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00:05:54.079 --> 00:06:00.120
as she can be and finally start
living, really living. Despite all all
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00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:03.759
of the heartache at the start and
the ever lingering dysphoria, Lulu knew it
68
00:06:03.839 --> 00:06:13.240
was all worth it, no matter
what may come. Dusk was settling over
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00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:16.720
the land as Lulu and Denise sat
in matching rocking chairs on their back porch.
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00:06:17.560 --> 00:06:21.360
The two were reading while taking short
breaks to sip from their coffee.
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00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:27.839
In the distance, crickets chirked.
Their normal serenade courtesy of owls, was
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00:06:27.879 --> 00:06:31.319
absent during their meal. Lulu had
noticed a general lack of birds in the
73
00:06:31.399 --> 00:06:36.560
area, and the missing owls added
to the strangeness. The silence was eerie
74
00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:41.680
and made her feel on edge.
To combat it, she had turned on
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00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:46.120
the portable radio they kept on the
porch and clicked it over to a classical
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00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:50.439
station. Lulu hated the quiet.
It always put her on edge and gave
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00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:56.600
way for her mind to wander into
the dark places where it often played tricks
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00:06:56.680 --> 00:07:00.560
on her tempted her to give it
all up in both who she was and
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00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:04.720
existing in the most basic terms.
A matching set of scars on wrists and
80
00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:10.439
one on her neck were proof of
how badly the thoughts could get, Thoughts
81
00:07:10.480 --> 00:07:15.000
of how transitioning was all a mistake, how Denise would leave her in due
82
00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:19.600
time for a normal heterosexual relationship,
and of how she was a screw up
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00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:25.680
in life as a whole. The
eeriness of the evening silence was overpowering the
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00:07:25.720 --> 00:07:29.399
presence of the radio, and Lulu's
thoughts were beginning to walk her down the
85
00:07:29.480 --> 00:07:32.480
worst parts of her mind. When
a rustling in the trees caught her attention
86
00:07:33.360 --> 00:07:39.920
normal for any given day, something
about it put Lulu on edge. Watching
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00:07:39.959 --> 00:07:43.279
the trees, she noted that every
five minutes, a new unknown source of
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00:07:43.319 --> 00:07:46.439
wind would blow in and rustle the
trees, the intensity of which grew with
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00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:51.399
each gust. Denise could see her
partner's trance like attention on the trees.
90
00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:57.519
What you watching? Her answer came
quietly, with her standing up from her
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00:07:57.600 --> 00:08:03.360
chair as another gust ran through.
Denise watched Lulu being mesmerized by the happening.
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00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:07.360
Five minutes later, it happened again. This time, however, Lulu
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00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:13.079
left the back porch and walked towards
the woods. Entering the forest, Lulu
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00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:18.680
was both aware of where she was
and unaware of why she was there.
95
00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:22.959
She was simply reading a Billy Martin
novel. Then she felt what could only
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00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:28.000
be described as a flex and side
of her mind, as if some invisible
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00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:33.519
presence was bending her thought process to
its own desires. Was it something in
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00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:39.519
the wind the air? She didn't
know. To her, the sudden gusts
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00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:43.919
of wind and lack of birds reminded
her of when a bad storm is about
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00:08:43.960 --> 00:08:48.200
to occur, and the animals scattered
to the four winds. What little remained
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00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:52.720
of the sun seemed to all but
vanish in the blink of an eye while
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Lulu walked through the woods. Night
was now the dominant phase of the day,
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blanketing the world around Lulu in a
haze of black and blue. Her
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walk through the woods was no longer
a stroll she had done multiple times,
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both in the day and at night, but was now something that felt like
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it was ripped from a nightmare.
Her steps brought her past the woods and
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into the garden and right about to
the makeshift grave for her former self.
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She stopped then and stared down at
the marker what she started as if ready
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to give a reply. The earth
began to tremble violently. Lulu's footing wavered,
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and she found herself on her knees, a ghastly sound that she could
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only liken to dry leaves and sticks
burning rattles through the region as the ground
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cracked and then split massively open around
her and the grave marker. Lulu cautiously
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walked on her hands and knees over
to the makeshift grave and peered down the
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opening in the earth darkness. Only
darkness greets her at first. A few
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heartbeats later, and up from the
depths rise like molten lava or a fallen
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angel returning from hell. Is something
horrific. Lulu looks at the being in
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shock and horror in her eyes,
as something she truly believed she would never
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see again. It was her,
or rather him, for in front of
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the woman known as Lulu Dubois was
her former self, her self pre transition,
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Louis DUIs. Well, hey there, fraud, Louis said tauntingly.
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At his reflection, Lulu could not
believe her eyes. She never expected to
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see the visage of her old self
ever again. In the flesh. Pictures
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were one thing. Her parents speaking
about her as a kid with male pronouns,
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while slightly irksome, was something she
could look past. Videos or audio
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recordings were like the pictures. But
this, this was flesh and blood.
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Everything about how Lulu looked pre transition, pre coming out was present. The
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short, naturally copper hair, the
facial hair that formed a beard, the
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more masculine physique, everything, and
the voice. The voice that Lulu buried
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by learning how to feminize hers by
singing songs from musicals was not present.
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But the one that was akin to
her father's, if not a tad softer
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was accounted for. How Lulu questioned, you didn't think you could kill me,
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did you? But I, she
struggled to string the words together.
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You simply put on a costume.
That's all you've done. Not to mention
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becoming a junkie, Luis tells the
other. Lulu looks at the ghost from
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her past in astonishment. A junkie. What else do you call somebody who
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00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:48.200
claims they can't live without their medicine? You call them a drug addict,
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00:11:48.519 --> 00:11:52.559
A junkie, that's what you are. I've heard you tell people that without
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your HRT, your hormone drugs,
that you wouldn't be able to live.
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But they let me be me,
Lulu respond, that's what any dope head
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or drunkard would say. No,
Luis walks up to Lulu and kneels down.
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He takes her face in his hands
and stares at her. You are
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a phony. You will never be
a real woman. You're just some character,
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made up an actor who's gone way
too far into method acting. You're
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not real and you don't have any
right to exist, let alone kill me,
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00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:30.679
which, by the way, you
can't. I'll always be here and
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00:12:30.759 --> 00:12:33.759
not any drug or mutilation you do
to your body will change that. You
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00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:39.320
fake. Now, how about you
throw yourself down that pit so that I
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can get back to living and to
my wife. Luis pushes Lulu away by
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her face, leaving her sprawled out
on the ground. He walks past her,
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jumping over a divide in the earth
like it was nothing. Before leaving
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the garden, Louis pauses and looks
towards Lulu. The least you could have
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done is just be a faggot.
At least then you could have been acceptable,
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if not tolerable. The words stung. It hurt Lulu to where,
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whether by it or whatever force had
a grip on her mind, sent her
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into shock. As Louis left the
garden weekly Spooky will be right back.
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After these quick messages, Lulu laid
on tattered earth, still in shock from
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the events that had just unfolded.
How is this even possible? The presence,
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the appearance of Luis was too surreal. He certainly was no ghost.
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The firmness of his hand touching her
face was proof of that. A demon,
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a devil, a wraith. What
was he? What was she?
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Maybe Louis was right and Lulu was
only an illusion. It could be plausible
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that she was only imaginary and that
he had always existed. The young woman
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thought about how while her friends were
accepting that, there was the awkward phase
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of them getting used to everything,
same with her family. What suddenly flooded
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her mind were the moments with Denise, the anger she had at the confession
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of her partner being transgender. How
that was not who she had married and
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taken vows with the lack of support
until much later, most of all Denise
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saying that she did not think she
could or would be able to love this
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newly born woman or want to keep
their marriage, their relationship going. How
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Lulu could have and almost more than
likely lost her one, her only,
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her soulmate. Lulu rolled over and
crawled to the opening in the earth.
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She stared down the hole into the
utter darkness. The blackness stared back at
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her, singing to her inside her
head, it was only comparable to every
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negative thought, every instance of dysphoria, every insult she ever heard. Perhaps
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more concerning to Lulu was how gentle
it sounded, how comforting, how reasonable,
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how peaceful. Within that void could
be bliss another life, perhaps in
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which Lulu was always Lulu and never
Louis. Maybe it would be best to
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let Luis live again and give Denise
back her partner, her husband. Lulu
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closed her eyes and tried to think, tried to decide. The force that
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led her through the woods to her
homemade cemetery flexed in her head showed her
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the joy that luis living would give, whether by the force or on her
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own. Lulu found her muscles preparing
to launch herself over the edge and into
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a dark oblivion. Over her legs
went, then her hips and waist her
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lower torso and an arm. Lulu
opened her eyes and found herself hanging by
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one hand. She stared up at
the night sky and into the moon.
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Whether by a higher power or other
supernatural phenomenon, Lulu saw the face of
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Denise. She was laughing, smiling
all down at her. You're a silly
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little one, my hummingbird, she
heard in her head. Hummingbird was a
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00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:18.799
nickname Denise gave Lulu. She once
told Lulu that they can be a sign
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of hope. Lulu squeezed her eyes
shut and started to cry. She wanted
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00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:30.559
to let go, yet found herself
unable to. I love you forever and
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00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:36.039
always, the voice of Denise told
her. Lulu's eyes shot open. I
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love you too, forever and always. Using all of her strength, Lulu
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pulled her body up until she could
reach her other hand and get a grip
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on the edge of the pit.
She strained her muscles to raise herself upwards.
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Once willing to fall down the pit. Lulu now feared that it would
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happen. She wanted to escape this
pit. Lulu let out a defiant scream
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and hauled herself out and back onto
the ground where her garden once was.
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She panted heavily from physical exhaustion.
Lulu felt as if she could go to
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sleep for a good few days,
but she couldn't. She knew there was
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no way she could go to sleep
until this thing was finished. Lulu slowly
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00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:22.799
got to her feet, took a
few deep breaths, and ran back into
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the woods. Lulu dashed through the
forest without a clue to her surroundings.
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Her body knew where she was going, but her mind, still recovering from
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00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:38.079
presumably Luis having his hold on her, she did not take notice of any
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hazards she could encounter. As such, Lulu found herself gaining cuts along her
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feet, legs, arms, and
hands from running into and through branches,
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wild grass, and rocks. Despite
the more perilous path taken, Lulu soon
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found herself out of the woods and
in her own backyard. Across the vastness
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of her property, she saw her
house. At the distance she was Lulu
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could only see the glimmers or candle
light through the window, but Lulu knew
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the two were inside. Cautiously,
Lulu crossed the backyard and entered the house.
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She stood in her kitchen and let
herself sink into the eerie quiet of
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00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:22.799
the home. The first floor was
completely dark, save for the small amounts
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00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:26.400
of moonlight that poked through the windows. Knowing the threat that was present was
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00:18:26.440 --> 00:18:32.079
otherworldly, but wanting to try and
combat it in human terms, Lulu grabbed
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a knife from a carving block before
leaving the kitchen. Doing her best to
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imitate what she had seen in various
movies, she begins to sweep through the
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first floor, Finding nothing, She
makes her way to the stairs and looks
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up them. At the top of
the landing, she could see the faint
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glimmer of candlelight. With the first
floor clear, there was only one other
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place to look. Taking a deep
breath, Lulu climbs up the stairs,
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taking each step cautiously. Now at
the top of them, she cranes her
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neck right and left nothing to her
left. To the right, at the
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end of the hallway is the bedroom. The door was shut, but Lulu
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could see light flickering from the gap
between the bottom of the door and the
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floor. Letting her body think for
her, Lulu charged at the door,
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positioning one of her shoulders to be
ran directly into it. Her body,
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00:19:26.160 --> 00:19:30.039
led by her shoulders, slammed into
the door, busting it open. Lulu
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stumbled some as she slowed herself down
before finally finding her footing inside of the
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room or Denise and him. Denise
was huddled up in a corner of the
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room while Lulu's former self stood by. Both of their eyes went to Lulu.
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Huh, what are you doing here? Luis asked Lulu. What Denise
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00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:59.039
tried to ask. I'm here to
put you down to rest, Lulu told
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her old self. Louis chuckled at
the comment. Q tried that once and
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00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:07.720
it didn't work. As I recall, you're right, it didn't. I
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00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:11.480
thought I could simply bury you,
whether it was in my mind, in
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the memories of those around me,
or even metaphorically by giving you a tombstone.
239
00:20:17.400 --> 00:20:19.839
So what makes you think it will
work now? I will always be
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here in her, in your parents
and your friends, and in you.
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00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:29.519
That's true, you always will be
here. The thing is, though,
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while you did exist once, I
exist now. Lulu says, I'm waiting
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to hear how if you agree with
my presence always being around, how you
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plan to put me to rest?
Louis replied mockingly, It's simple. I've
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been so afraid of people forgetting who
I am, and you coming back,
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afraid that if my care stops my
addiction as you claim it is, that
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I'd be forced to go back to
being you. That everybody I know in
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love would rather have you than me. But whether it was some divine power
249
00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:03.240
or some voice in my head finally
saying it, I know now that I
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00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:07.480
don't have to be and that I
shouldn't be afraid of you and give your
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once existing power over my life.
Now you did exist for that brief number
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of years you lived your life,
but now I exist, and it's my
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turn to live, especially without being
afraid of you. Louis looks at the
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knife Lulu is gripping. You really
think that knife is going to stop me,
255
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or that, despite all of what
you said, that it's as simple
256
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as ignoring me. The house begins
to shake as the two Dubois stare each
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other down. Items hanging from the
walls fall to the floor as the foundation
258
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begins to crack. Denise carefully stands
up and starts to make her way over
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towards her wife. Louis grabs her
by the hair and yanks her to him.
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Lulu, Denise cries out in pain. I'm waiting, Louis taunted.
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If I gave you this power by
trying to bury you symbolically, then I
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have to undo it. Without much
pause after her words, Lulu threw the
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knife at her old self. Surprised
by the action and forgetting his supposed invulnerability,
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Luis ducked down and covered his head, letting go of Denise in the
265
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process. With her wife free,
Lulu dashed to her, took her by
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the hand, and sprinted out of
the bedroom. The couple raced down the
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steps as the house shaped violently as
if being assaulted by a tornado. At
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the bottom of the stairs, Lulu
leads Denise into the kitchen and out the
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back door. Where are we going? Denise shouts over the howling and evil
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winds that were bringing trees down all
around them as they ran across the backyard.
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Lulu didn't answer, she was much
too focused on getting the couple to
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their destination. They jump over a
fallen tree and sprint into the woods.
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Lulu led Denise by hand, still
doing her best to keep the two from
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being caught by branches and bushes and
by anything Luis was presumably throwing at them.
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In no time flat, the pair
exited the woods into the once beautiful
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garden they had made. Lulu charged
right up to her homemade gravestone. She
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grasped both sides of the marker with
each hand and began to pull up.
278
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Her body, weakened from everything else
that has gone through this night, does
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not quit though. Lulu groaned,
then grunted, then let out a scream
280
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as she pulled upwards on the gravestone, her muscles tightening until they feel like
281
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they are going to tear, her
veins close to popping out of her skin.
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With one last flex though, Lulu
finally ripped the stone out from the
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earth where she planted it. She
held it over her head with all her
284
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might, and she waddled to where
an opening in the earth was, then
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threw the stone down. It fell
into the unknown depths of the earth and
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from wherever Luis came from. No
A horrific, distorted voice shrieks through the
287
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night. Lulu and Denise covered their
ears from how shrill it was. The
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earth stopped shaking, slowly closing it
self up from where it had cracked open.
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Soon the wind ceased as well,
and in one last unnatural event,
290
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the moon, in the blink of
an eye, switched with a slowly rising
291
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sun. Lulu and Denise look at
each other, first in questioning what just
292
00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:22.720
happened, then lovingly, oh,
Lulu, Denise cries, before embracing her
293
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wife. I love you, Lulu
smiles forever and always, Denise replies.
294
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The two pull apart some and kiss
slowly. Their lips pull away, and
295
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the couple hug each other tightly once
more. As they hug, Lulu looks
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to where Luis's gravestone was, where
it once sat as a marker of fear.
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Slowly there were flowers growing, a
combination of red and yellow. Lulu
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smiled and closed her eyes as she
and her wife continue to embrace. M hmmm,













