Nov. 15, 2024
Hop-Frog by Edgar Allan Poe
With themes of power, cruelty, and poetic justice, Hop-Frog remains one of Poe’s most haunting and impactful stories. Perfect for fans of gothic literature, psychological thrillers, and chilling narratives.
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One of my favorite memories of scaring myself as a
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child was getting a compilation book of Edgar Allan Poe's
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stories from my elementary school library. It brought me so
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much fear and so much excitement. I remember running home
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from school with that book in my backpack as the
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sky was dark and a storm was coming. I was
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in my childhood living room, but I wasn't alone. I
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had a pizza and the books of Poe. Every so
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often I'll bring you a tale of Poe, and I
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hope it gives you that scary fun sense, just the
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same as it does for me. So listen to these
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words from our sponsors, and when the clock strikes midnight,
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the story will begin hop Frog by Edgar Allan Poe.
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I never knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke
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as the King was. He seemed to live only for joking.
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To tell a good story of the joke kind, and
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to tell it well, was the surest road to his favor.
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Thus it happened that his seven ministers were all noted
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for their accomplishments as jokesters. They all took after the
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king two in being large, corpulent, oily men, as well
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as imitable jokers. Whether people grow fat by joking, or
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whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to
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a joke, I have never been quite able to determine.
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But certain it is that a lean joker is a
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rava avis in terrace about the refinements, or, as he
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called them, the ghost of wit, the King troubled himself
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very little. He had an especial admiration for breadth in
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a jest, and would often put up with length for
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the sake of it. Over niceties wearied him. He would
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have preferred Rablai's gargantua to a Zadig of Voltaire, and
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upon the whole, practical jokes suited his taste far better
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than verbal ones. At the date of my narrative, professing
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jesters had not altogether gone out of fashion at court.
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Several of the great continental powers still retained their fools,
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who wore motley with caps and bells, and who were
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expected to be always ready with sharp witticisms at a
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moment's notice, in consideration of the crumbs that fell well
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from the royal table. Our King, as a matter of course,
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retained his fool. The fact is he required something in
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the way of folly, if only to counterbalance the heavy
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wisdom of the seven wise men who were his ministers.
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Not to mention himself his fool or professional jester was
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not only a fool, however, his value was trebled in
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the eyes of the king by the fact of his
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being also a dwarf and a cripple. Dwarfs were as
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common at court in those days as fools, and many
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monarchs would have found it difficult to get through their days.
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Days are rather longer at court than elsewhere without both
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a jester to laugh with and a dwarf to laugh at.
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But as I have already observed, your jesters in ninety
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nine cases out of a hundred, are fat, round and unwieldy,
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so that it was no small source of self gratulation
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with our King that in hop frog this was the
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fool's name, he possessed a triplicate treasure in one person.
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I believe the name hop Frog was not that given
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to the dwarf by his sponsors at baptism, but was
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conferred upon him by general consent of the several ministers
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on account of his inability to walk as other men do.
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In fact, hop Frog could only get along by a
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sort of interjectional gait, something between a leap and a wriggle,
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a movement that afforded illimitable amusement and of course consolation
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to the King, for notwithstanding the protuberance of his stomach
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and a constitutional swelling of the head, the King by
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his whole court was accounted a capital figure. But although
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hop Frog, through the distortion of his legs, could move
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only with great pain and difficulty along a road or floor,
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the Projudice's muscular power, which nature seemed to have bestowed
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upon his arms by way of compensation for deficiency in
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the lower limbs, enabled him to perform many feats of
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wonderful dexterity where trees or ropes were in question, or
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anything else to climb. At such exercises, he certainly much
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more resembled a squirrel or a small monkey than a frog.
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I am not able to say with precision from what
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country hop Frog originally came. It was from some barbarous region, however,
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that no person had ever heard of a vast distance
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from the court of our King. Hop Frog and a
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young girl, very little, less dwarfish than himself, although of
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exquisite proportions and a marvelous dancer, had been forcibly carried
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off from their respective homes in adjoining provinces, and sent
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as presents to the King by one of his ever
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victorious generals. Under these circumstances, it is not to be
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wondered at that a close intimacy arose between the two
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little captives. Indeed, they soon became sworn friends. Hop Frog, who,
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although he made a great deal of sport, was by
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no means popular, had it not in his power to
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render Tripetta many services. But she, on account of her
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grace and exquisite beauty, although a dwarf, was universally admired
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and petted, so she possessed much influence and never failed
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to use it whenever she could for the benefit of
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hop Frog. On some grand state occasion. I forgot what
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the King determined to have a masquerade, And whenever a
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masquerade or anything of that kind occurred at our court,
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then the talents of both hop Frog and Tripetta were
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sure to be called in to play. Hop Frog in
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a special was so inventive in the way of getting
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up pageants, suggested novel characters, and arranging costumes for masked balls,
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that nothing could be done, it seems, without his assistance.
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The night appointed for the fee had arrived, a gorgeous
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hall had been fitted up under Tripetta's eye with every
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kind of device which could possibly give eclat to a masquerade.
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The whole court was in a fever of expectation. As
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for costumes and characters, it might well be supposed that
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everybody had come to a decision on such points. Many
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had made up their minds as to what roles they
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should assume a week or even a month in advance,
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And in fact there was not a particle of indecision
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anywhere except in the case of the King and his
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seven ministers. Why they hesitated I never could tell, unless
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they did it by way of a joke. More probably,
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they found it difficult, on account of being so fat,
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to make up their minds at all events, time flew
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and as as the last resort, they sent for Tripetta
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and hop Frog. When the two little friends obeyed the
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summons of the King, they found him sitting at his
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wine with seven members of his cabinet council. But the
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monarch appeared to be in a very ill humor. He
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knew that hop Frog was not fond of wine, for
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it excited the poor cripple almost to madness, and madness
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is no comfortable feeling. But the King loved his practical
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jokes and took pleasure in forcing hop Frog to drink.
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Come here, hop frog, said he as the jester and
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his friend entered the room. Swallow this bumper to the
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health of your absent friends. Here hop Frog sighed, and
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then let us have the benefit of your invention. We
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want characters, characters, man, something novel out of the way.
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We are wearied with this everlasting sameness. Come drink the
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wine will brighten your wits. Hop Frog endeavored as usual
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to get up a jest in reply to these advances
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from the king, but the effort was too much. It
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happened to be the poor dwarf's birthday, and the command
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to drink to his absent friends forced the tears to
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his eyes. Many large bitter drops fell into the goblet
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as he took it humbly from the hand of the tyrant.
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A ha, roared the latter, as the dwarf reluctantly drained
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the beaker. See what a glass of good wine can do.
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Why your eyes are shining already, poor fellow, His large
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eyes gleamed rather than shone, for the effect of wine
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on his excitable brain was not more powerful than instantaneous.
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He placed the goblet nervously on the table and looked
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round upon the company with a half insane stare. They
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all seemed highly amused at the success of the king's joke.
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And now to business, said the Prime minister, a very
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fat man. Yes, said the king. Come lend us your assistance. Characters,
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