Unknown Broadcast | The Corpse Laughs: Stolen Identity, a Blind Uncle and a Half-Million-Dollar Safe

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Ah, I see you found me
once again. Very good. I'm happy

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to see you here. Oh what's
that? Oh no, no, no,

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not at all, not at all. I'm always happy when you twist

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that little radio dial until you find
me. I guess in a sense haunting

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the airwaves. Oh, what an
absurd concept. Well, I hope you're

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comfortable, because I have quite an
eerie one for you tonight, one that

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I believe is completely true to life, because of course, the corpse does

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always laugh. Last, Oh my, are you comfortable? Please put your

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feet up. You're no stranger to
me. You're my dear friend. And

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yes, my dear dear, I'm
what was that? Oh no, no,

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no, they can't get in.
Don't even worry about them. They

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don't even know you're here. I'm
sure you just be comfortable, and let's

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get ready to listen to something something
a little chill, chill on an already

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cold evening. Right now, Inner
Sanctum, mysteries, Good evening, friends

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of the creaking door. This is
your host to welcome you once again into

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the inner Sanctum. Come in,
meet Edgar, our electrical wizard. At

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school, he was voted the most
likely to shock him there his wife with

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a dull name, though he plugged
her into a wall socket. Now you

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said either way, she sparkled,
Yes, sir. Now she's the light

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of the party. Ever roll your
eyes over the dream of a half million

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dollars? Hm, You did careful, friend, or that dream would become

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a nightmare. We're in White Oaks, a gloomy estate somewhere along the jagged

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coastline between Crisco and Seattle. On
the floor in a corner of the library,

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staring blindly at the ceiling is an
old man. Across the room is

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a young man, mortally wounded but
fighting to keep the thread of life from

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snapping. Ten feet away from him
is an old style floor safe. The

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door of a safe is blown off
and the contents scattering lying nearby. He

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tries to get up, but a
cat his hand creeps to a bundle of

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cash and drops helplessly over it.
Gus Gus Miller, Yeah, open your

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eyes, Come on, son,
show fight. Don't cash in yet?

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Hm? Who are you? Sheriff
Ben Lomas, Gus Gus, how'd you

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know my name went through your bags? You've been masquerading as Tom Reid.

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Yeah, well I might in the
County hospital you take a lot of killing.

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But next stop is the County Morgue
Race. For me, you wouldn't

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be busting with curiosity about me,
shriff, you wouldn't be uh busting to

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talks. Uh hm cayse I am
if you listen, that's what I'm here

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for. Gus Miller's my name.
Check back of my pedigree and you'll find

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I've been a number more than I've
been Gus Miller. It's a kid.

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I went right out of an orphans
home into the big jail of San Quentin.

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Number five six two three one seven
was my name for ten years.

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Five six two three one seven.
Every night before turning in, I swore

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that five six two three one seven. It's how many bucks would cost Society

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square accounts with me. Come on. I was a day out of the

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Klink, laying around the Frisco docks, wondering where I can hustle a buck.

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Big liner just come in out of
the Pacific fog. Well, those

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swang pleasure liners. I watched the
passengers getting uh all dressed the cue without

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a care in the world. Mong
them was Tom Reid, tricked out in

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a white sailing suit. My eyes
kept wandering over there, I thought,

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kept jabbing at me that here is
the guy I could be if I played

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my cards right. We're about the
same age bill, the average looking guys,

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except that Reed was a little pale
around the gills. All Reed had

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on me was a bank or you
drive it. Carl rolled up and Reid

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went to it. I went after
what scheme I had in mind, and

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I'm not clear on it anymore.
Yes, is there a there something you

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want? A driving north? Looking
for a ride iron? Yeah, looking

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to get a hitch? Okay,
hop in. I'm Tom Reid. My

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name's Gus Miller. How far are
you going? Uh? As far as

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I can get, I guess.
No destination, No destination? How far

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you going? Oh? About two
hundred miles? White Oaks? You ever

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hear of white oaks? No?
Never did the show place of the Pacific

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coast. I'm the last of the
reeds of white Oaks. You bragging or

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crying? M both? Maybe?
Why are you so tough? You're too

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rich for my blood? Maybe?
And I suppose there is something indecent about

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too much money? If bad?
Have you got too much money? A

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half million in three days? Why
in three days? My inheritance comes through

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them. That's why I'm back in
the States. How do you collect a

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half a million? There's a bank
teller pilot up in gold pieces in front

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of no A blind uncle you haven't
seen in years, taps his cane along

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the floor towards a safe that's been
in the family for generations and opens it

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and hands your half of me,
just like that, just like a my

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father distrusted banks. I turned the
figure over in my mind. A half

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million h Reid looking queerly at me
out of the corner of his eye.

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You're burning up with temptation. Million
I I don't know what you talking about.

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Poses me for three days, then
go off with all that money.

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Uncle Walter will never detect the masquerade. He's blind, and you're a pretty

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good faker. That's what you're telling
yourself. I said, I, uh,

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where are you all the time?
I'm posting dead somewhere. You've murdered

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me. Oh, if I had
any idea like that. For a minute,

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Raid's open us. Put the ky
wash on her. We chewed up

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about a hundred miles and I caught
that funny look cross and Reid's face again.

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I watched the hand clap over his
heart raids, seems to say bagging.

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The car began to circle whilely I
grabbed a wheel in the nicke of

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time, I pulled her aside,
shut the motor. Let's get you read

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my my heart, how bad is
it? How a little doctor gave it

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a year. I've been short changed
by two weeks. Get me to a

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doctor, I stall. There was
a little man counting up five hundred thousand,

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and my mind slowly by one breed's
eyes around me. They were dying

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eyes. But I caught a twinkle
as if you were amused over myself.

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It's your chance, mely, just
sit it out of the stars. Forget

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the doctor. I like most about
you as your sense of humor. I'm

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taking her that doctor. Thanks doctor, don't bother. It's too late.

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Red bury me somewhere as as Gus
Miller. You'll be tom read for three

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days. It was too late to
play boy scout and race for the doctor.

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Reid was the deadest man in the
world. I told myself that reed

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dying crack practically made me his.
There I didn't have to tell myself anything.

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The little man was counting five hundred
thousand in my head fast by fifties.

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Oh, I found a natural lake
about five miles up a side road.

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The region was a dead end.
Not a house or a human anywhere

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in miles. I swapped clothes with
Reid. We hit his pockets with stones

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and said goodbye. Let him slip
well, A downtrodden hill is on the

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upgrade now A half million spun tildys
nice page just for giving a corpse a

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bath at a roadside lay. Yes, might run into something unexpected at White

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Oak. Still, he determined to
try or fry. Let's see what it

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is, shall we. I got
to White Oaks in an electric storm,

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where the skies giving me a twenty
one gun swore the house was up on

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an elevation. Everything about it seemed
to say keep eye out. Not a

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soul in sight? Where was the
blind? Uncle? Anybody home? I

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been hear the ecko hanging in the
air. Then I heard it tapping,

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coming at me out of the shallows. His hand reached for me. I

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could feel my flesh. Craym oh, huckle, waller h give me your

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hand if you're sure. Huh.
It's been so long since I felt the

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warmth of a reed hand. Your
hand. This perspiety, but it's close

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in here. I'm I've been in
a rush since Frisco stepping wrong. Your

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voice, it's uh, it's changed
for the better. It's uh deeper,

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but playing on her, I don't
know who was climbing. It's been a

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long time, Uncle, Yes,
yes, it's it's been a long time.

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Margaret, your fiance will be here
tomorrow to greet you. Margaret sh

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she's coming tomorrow. Yes. Uh, how is Margaret. She's grown into

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a fine woman. She'll make you
a good wife, Tom. When did

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the wedding bells ring out? The
day you take your inheritance as your father

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wished it. You and Margaret were
playmates his children, and your father wanted

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someone close to have his money after
you. Uh. This letter from Margaret

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came the other day. You'd like
to read it? Sure, yeah,

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I'll read it in bed. A
good night, nephew. Oo a bride

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went with a five hundred thousand I
have him the letter. I needed a

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line on her. I read the
opening paragraph again and again till it was

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whispering in my brain. I wonder
how it will be meeting Tom again.

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Uncle Walter, we were practically infants
for the last time together. The questions

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that keep crowding my mind? What
does he look like? What does he

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think about? Will he like me
enough? And will you like me too?

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Dear uncle Walter, I had all
a line on her I needed.

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Margaret didn't know Tom read from Adam. The next morning I drove into the

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one Horseberg they called town. I
wanted to buy a paper in some odds

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and ends. I left the general
store and a fat little guy and a

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seaman's outfit who had been hanging around
inside and followed me out. They started

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the car and he drifted over going
to white Oak's fan Hey, sure,

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how'd you get the car? It's
the job read rather than Frisco yesterday.

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Can I ride along with you?
Yeah? You're going to White Oak?

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Uh huh, I'm Tom Reid's guest. Okay, sure, happy you a

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friend of town, will kind of. I was the presser on the ship.

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He came over on We hit it
off and I got invited to his

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Weddy. What'd you do with Tom
Reid? Mister? I don't get you.

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I get you. You're playing at
being read. You're wearing his clothes,

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you're driving his car. When you
pay for some junk at the store,

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you flashed a wallet I remember seeing
on red. But uh, it

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needn't a sweat. Maybe we could
do business for how much? Half?

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If you're just masquerading, or if
you killed him? I uh didn't kill

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him a heart attack, did it? I just ditched the body, is

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it? Half? I'll let you
know what what are you stopping for?

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Uh? Get hold of myself for
a minute. Find my smokes here this

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compartment. I thought you said,
smokes, bitch, smokes with all six

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bullets. Get out of the car, start for the woods. Is that

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how you want? That's the way. It's gotta be all or nothing,

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No deals with a blackmailer. He
sat down on a slow, wriggling motion,

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then fell over on his side into
the weeds. I started a drag

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him through the weeds and for a
place to hide him until I could get

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some tools and bury him later.
And suddenly there's another horn back in the

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road, making like crazy some motors
unable to get past my parked car on

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a narrow road. I left trace
as he was and ran to the car,

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which a girl a snappy convertible move
over. I can't get by.

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Sure are you hunting? Hunting?
Oh? Yes, sir at shooting well?

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Uh? I took hot shots of
some rabbits any luck. Nah Uh,

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I'm a bad shot, too bad? Am I on the road to

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White Oaks? Sure you wouldn't be
Margaret, Yes, I'm Margaret Oho,

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I'm Tom raid your Tom reed disappointed? Don't mind I staring? Huh?

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Aren't you going to show me the
way? Tom? Why you keep starings?

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Get my curiosity up? I'm sorry? Like she couldn't control her eyes

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put, I followed the direction of
a stair sent me had hit me.

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Murder was written all over me.
There was blood all over my clothes and

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my shirt, right down on my
shoes. It was as if Tracy's corpse

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was staying him beside me, telling
it to the world. Who knows?

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Woods You killed somebody in there.
That's what those shots were. You killed

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Uncle Walter, And now you're talking
crazy. A hallboy stuck me up.

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I grabbed his gun and finished it. You don't believe me? Huh No?

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And you're not Tom Reid. You
got a picture of him grown up?

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Eh? Yes, nice and frank
and open. Huh. Being that

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honest is gonna cost you something.
Well, don't you scream or something?

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I'd rather do this exactly where you
are it's opened the gun and the maroon

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convert him? Do you know how
to shoot it? Try me and see,

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kid, I got to try.
Whether I like it or not,

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I gotta knows. I shoot him
for a girl. My try now he

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was shooting first minute easier for me
in a way which like self defense.

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Uh still kidding myself, funny.
It was all goodbye. I met a

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girl and killed him. All in
less than five minutes. Five hundred thousand

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was coming a lot harder than I
figured, alright, it was running a

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lot of time late. An hour
was the grabber was in the safe one

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way or another, and lamb is
far from the two stiffs and the blind

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uncles. I could get. I
got to the safe and began to work

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at the dials. Her uncle Walter
tapping his way to it. Mm palm,

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yes, yes, uncle Walder,
Oh my glitt No, not not

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yet. She'll be wrong and give
me your hand if you but where is

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it? Yeah? Well what do
you do read? Palms? Are your

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fingers? Yes, nephew. The
reflection of dirt on the palm is if

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you've had your hands on the ground, it's not bad. You ought to

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be a detective, do you know
the smell of blood let on my hand.

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What's wrong card or a skipt Now
listen carefully. I got a gun

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in my hand pointing right at you. You had to tap your way to

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that floor safe and open it or
no stalling or no questions. But I

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said no questions. But I don't
know the combination from memory. I said,

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no stalling. If you listen,
the combination is on the memorandum pad

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in the library desk. I get
it. He tapped its way along the

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floor to the desk, stoop over
a drawer and stayed there in a cross

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like a guy in a trench who
was a gun pointing in front of him.

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Are you crazy, old coat?
What good's a gun gonna do?

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You're blind, You won't get a
scent impostor. He shot me perfect marks

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like you could see right along with
anybody. He aimed in the direction of

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my voice. I figured. I
moved to a side quickly and emptied my

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gun. Huh, that's all of
a show. You fixed a glistening charge

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in the can and blew the safe
wall. It was a trick I picked

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up in the storm. White Oaks. H nerve for you, still going

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for the money with all those bullets
in it. Like you said, I

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I don't kill easy. Well,
you're tough, but the joke's on you

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all around shuts on me dying empty
hand him. Oh it's on you even

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more than that. Son. The
old man wasn't blind, and he wasn't

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00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:33.039
Uncle Walter. You killed no for
a fact like you. He was just

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00:22:33.079 --> 00:22:38.640
playing along. He'd been the butler
before he killed Uncle Walter. You see,

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00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:44.559
he never thought Tom Reids bad hard
to allow him to take that trip

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from Honolulu. Well, what's funny, son, The joker's on me?

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Or funny with a young man plucked
his rise to fortune and then finds he

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can't even get up off his back
one barn blessing. Though he's had all

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the time now in the next world
to cut off that five hundred thousands infractions,

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May he rust in peace? Friends, It's time once again to close

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that creaking door until next week at
the same time when we'll be back with

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a little hunk of marra. You'll
be sure to listen, don't you.

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Until next week? Then the Nines
as a screen inner sanctum has come to

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00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:40.279
you through the worldwide facilities of the
United States Armed Forces, Radio and television

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00:24:40.319 --> 00:26:33.200
service, a little happy Tunes,
and a very fruitful night of scares and

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00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:37.440
fun, few giggles. I think
I heard you make a few sounds yourself.

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00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:40.799
Or what's that? Oh no,
no, no, no no,

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00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:44.480
don't worry about that. No,
no, no, nothing to be concerned

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00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:47.960
about here, my friends. But
I do hope you know how much I

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enjoy spending this time with you.
What what's that? Oh no, no,

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no, My name is simply unimportant. To be honest, I don't

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00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:00.680
really believe I have a name anymore. Anyhow, If you want to talk

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to me directly and you don't have
access to your Ouiji board, you're welcome

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00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:11.279
to send me an email at Weird
Mysteriespod at gmail dot com. You know

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00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:14.400
I love hearing from you. In
fact, I may be reading some of

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00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:18.319
your letters in the next episode,
but of course you'll have to wait until

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00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:22.920
tomorrow for that. So now I
say get some rest in your warm bed

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00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:27.559
and never forget how lucky you are
to have it. Good night, my

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00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:45.599
dear, until tomorrow Night,