Dec. 31, 2025

Saint Jimmy: Y2K Panic Meets New Year’s Eve

Saint Jimmy: Y2K Panic Meets New Year’s Eve
Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Spreaker podcast player badge
Audible podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Spreaker podcast player icon Audible podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon
Weekly Spooky rings in the new year with a New Year’s Eve horror story that spirals into a Y2K nightmare—and it all starts with a stupidly simple discovery: crank two radios loud enough, hit the right tone, and you can rip open a hole in time.

Sixteen-year-old Jimmy and his cousin Phillip start pulling lost junk from the void… until grief turns curiosity into obsession. One phone call becomes a lifeline. One step through the portal becomes a disaster. And one panicked, brain-melting decision in the past causes a chain reaction that detonates reality right at midnight.

Now it’s New Year’s Eve, the world is collapsing into alternate timelines, and a surreal broadcast announces the unthinkable: a monstrous new order has arrived… and Jimmy’s become the accidental saint of the apocalypse. Expect time travel gone wrong, cosmic horror comedy, end-of-the-world chaos, and a ticking-clock sprint through broken history where every “fix” makes things weirder.

Hit play, kill the lights, and welcome to a New Year’s episode where the ball doesn’t drop—reality does. Dare you to make it past 11:59.

Saint Jimmy — by Dan Wilder

🎧 LISTEN NOW and subscribe for spine-tingling horror stories every week!

🎉 Unlock exclusive bonus episodes and support the show on Patreon!
👉 WeeklySpooky.com/Join

📬 Contact Us / Submit Your Horror Story!

🎵 Music by Ray Mattis 👉 Check out Ray’s incredible work here !
👨‍💼 Executive Producers: Rob Fields, Bobbletopia.com
🎥 Produced by: Daniel Wilder
🌐 Explore more terrifying tales at: WeeklySpooky.com
WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.520 --> 00:00:05.040
At eleven fifty nine on New Year's Eve, Jimmy learns

2
00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:11.039
the worst truth imaginable. The portal he opened wasn't a miracle.

3
00:00:11.759 --> 00:00:16.920
It was a trap, one wrong trip, one impossible moment,

4
00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:21.359
and now the airwaves belong to something inhuman.

5
00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:29.239
What's that You want to be scared to? Come with me.

6
00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:43.240
You will experience tales over our wrong ghosts and it

7
00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:45.799
is not recommended for the week.

8
00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:49.960
At Heart.

9
00:00:51.159 --> 00:00:55.119
Listeners in the dark Park. It's more funny that way

10
00:00:55.280 --> 00:00:58.719
way way. This is Weekly.

11
00:00:58.359 --> 00:01:12.760
Speaking, Hello, my spookys. It's Wednesday and New Year's Eve,

12
00:01:13.680 --> 00:01:17.280
and it's time for a little spooky in your weekly

13
00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:22.079
and one more bit of fear to end the year.

14
00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:27.560
I'm your host and narrator, Enrique Kuto, and twenty twenty

15
00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:32.439
five has been a banner year for the podcast. I

16
00:01:32.599 --> 00:01:36.239
just want to say thank you all so so much.

17
00:01:37.159 --> 00:01:42.159
We've had more listeners, more programs, more everything this year,

18
00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:46.879
and it's really made a huge difference in my life.

19
00:01:47.079 --> 00:01:50.519
I'm just really grateful. So at the end of the show,

20
00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:55.400
instead of the traditional outro we usually do, I'm going

21
00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:59.920
to go with something a little more thankful and festive.

22
00:02:00.840 --> 00:02:03.760
So make sure you stick around for that, and of course,

23
00:02:03.799 --> 00:02:05.599
if you love what we do and want to support

24
00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:09.840
us Weeklyspooky dot com slash Join is the place to go.

25
00:02:09.960 --> 00:02:13.479
But now it's time to get ready for a very special,

26
00:02:14.039 --> 00:02:18.360
terrifying New Year's tale cooked up from the twisted mind

27
00:02:18.439 --> 00:02:23.960
of Dan Wilder. So scoot closer to the fire. Tonight's

28
00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:27.080
story starts the way a lot of bad ideas do

29
00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:33.560
Two idiots one summer afternoon and music turned up way

30
00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:38.199
too loud. But what if the noise didn't just annoy

31
00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:42.919
the neighbors. What if it tore the air open like

32
00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:47.639
a seam, splitting just wide enough to reach inside and

33
00:02:47.800 --> 00:02:53.919
grab something from another time. And what if years later

34
00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:58.039
you use that same trick to reach the one thing

35
00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:03.520
you miss most, only to step through and realize you

36
00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:07.240
didn't go back to fix your life. You went back

37
00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:12.400
to break the world. Because when the clock crawls towards

38
00:03:12.479 --> 00:03:17.919
midnight on New Year's Eve, some doors should stay shut,

39
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:34.120
because once they're opened, they never ever close. Saint Jimmy

40
00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:43.479
by Dan Wilder. When I was sixteen, I discovered a

41
00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:48.919
shocking truth that changed the course of my entire life.

42
00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:53.719
Dramatic enough for you, Well, what comes next will either

43
00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:57.719
have you ignoring me as a crackpot or and this

44
00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:03.680
is what I hope my words. So what am I

45
00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:09.000
talking about? Time travel? Of course, it went a little

46
00:04:09.240 --> 00:04:14.280
something like this. It was summer and my cousin Philip,

47
00:04:14.280 --> 00:04:18.199
and I were sitting pullside, listening to tunes and having

48
00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:22.839
a chill time until someone didn't like whatever hair metal

49
00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:27.199
masterpiece we were playing and decided to counterattack with their

50
00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:31.959
own radio a few houses away. I looked up, and

51
00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:36.519
at that moment, as the sonic waves collided, I saw

52
00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:44.120
it a shimmer, a slight disturbance, as if in a trance.

53
00:04:44.279 --> 00:04:49.560
I walked over to the phenomena. Upon further examination, it

54
00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:56.000
looked like a hazy tear in the afternoon air. And

55
00:04:56.079 --> 00:05:00.000
being both young and naive, I did what anyone want,

56
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.480
I have realized was a monumentally shitty idea. I shoved

57
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:09.600
my hand in there. I could feel something in my grasp,

58
00:05:10.279 --> 00:05:18.800
something soft, something artificial. I pulled out an inflatable beach

59
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:24.560
ball adorned with a large Ghostbuster's logo, before the portal

60
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:28.519
snapped shut as my cousin, who had now seen me

61
00:05:28.680 --> 00:05:34.480
standing a distance away, clicked off the radio. Hey, numb nuts,

62
00:05:34.519 --> 00:05:38.120
what are you doing? Over there. I couldn't really say.

63
00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:43.160
It made no sense, and the words failed me. So

64
00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:46.519
I just held up the ball and showed my cousin

65
00:05:46.639 --> 00:05:50.839
with a look of bewilderment on my face. As he

66
00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:56.639
sauntered over to me, he offered his usual wisdom, Are

67
00:05:56.680 --> 00:05:59.000
you just gonna play with your balls all day? Or

68
00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:03.560
are we going backside? I held the ball fourth like

69
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:08.600
a talisman. That's when my cousin snatched the orb and

70
00:06:08.680 --> 00:06:16.079
he went from grinning to shock that ball It can't

71
00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:20.040
be His confusion did little to bring me out of

72
00:06:20.040 --> 00:06:24.199
my stupor. Let me see that. He grabbed the ball

73
00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:28.759
and examined it like a jeweler inspecting a rare stone.

74
00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:36.160
I gave this ball to my friend Jeff, Remember Jeff, Yeah,

75
00:06:36.319 --> 00:06:39.720
I managed. I gave this to him the summer of

76
00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:45.160
eighty five before he moved away, right where we're standing,

77
00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:52.800
before he yeah, before he died. You're sure this is

78
00:06:52.879 --> 00:06:57.639
the same ball. Philip rotated it, and sure enough, there

79
00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:03.000
it was. Jeff. We'll be friends forever, even if your

80
00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:08.319
dumb ass has to move, inscribed in silver sharpie on

81
00:07:08.439 --> 00:07:13.800
the black vinyl. That was four years ago. But look,

82
00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:18.800
Philip ran his fingers over the metallic ink, causing it

83
00:07:18.839 --> 00:07:24.600
to smear. The writing is still fresh. I explained where

84
00:07:24.600 --> 00:07:29.040
the ball had come from with a deep sigh, ready

85
00:07:29.079 --> 00:07:31.439
for Philip to let me have it for being both

86
00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:36.360
a liar and some sort of smart ass show me.

87
00:07:36.920 --> 00:07:42.600
He said, Oh okay, I said, before realizing I had

88
00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:49.800
zero fucking clue how to go about that. In Philip's defense,

89
00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:54.439
he immediately believed me, and for the next decade he

90
00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:59.800
was patient. After I tried every experiment to recreate the incident,

91
00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:04.199
the first thing I discovered was both the importance of

92
00:08:04.279 --> 00:08:09.120
the music's tone and the exact distance between the conflicting

93
00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:13.879
tones that would result in a time rip. Honestly, it

94
00:08:14.040 --> 00:08:19.319
wasn't complicated, didn't require any math or some fancy Victorian

95
00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:24.839
fuck chair or fancy car. It was all sound, and

96
00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:27.879
the ease of its use revealed why people had never

97
00:08:27.959 --> 00:08:31.920
figured out its secret. You can always count on a

98
00:08:31.959 --> 00:08:37.919
smart motherfucker to overcomplicate things, though, to be fair, exact

99
00:08:37.960 --> 00:08:44.440
precision placement is key. Oh and I can just feel

100
00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:49.279
when the vibration is about right in my inner ear. Anyhow,

101
00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:52.840
we could pull all sorts of shit out of there,

102
00:08:53.240 --> 00:08:56.320
and it changed depending on where we opened up the void,

103
00:08:57.000 --> 00:09:02.720
missing keys, mismatched socks, day cards. It was that last

104
00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:10.360
one that became important. My parents died about five years

105
00:09:10.399 --> 00:09:14.240
into this whole affair, and when I pulled that fucking

106
00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:18.840
card out, every bit of sorrow and loss washed over

107
00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:24.159
me in waves that became short lived. When Philip interjected

108
00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:29.559
we should try and contact them, it seemed so right.

109
00:09:30.320 --> 00:09:33.879
I'd be able to hear them one more time, tell

110
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:39.080
them I love them one more time. A few diagrams,

111
00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:42.759
a little experimenting, and an extra phone, and we were

112
00:09:42.840 --> 00:09:46.399
off to the races. Finally, I thought I had it.

113
00:09:47.240 --> 00:09:50.720
Two phones in this case, we were using the classic

114
00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:55.000
Garfield model and one of those see through numbers like

115
00:09:55.039 --> 00:09:58.600
the one in the Guns N' Roses patience video. I

116
00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:02.480
dialed the number nervous, a number I had called one

117
00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:11.279
hundred times. It rang and rang and rang. Maybe it

118
00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:16.440
won't work this way phones and all suddenly someone picked

119
00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:23.519
up on the other end. Hello. It was unmistakably my

120
00:10:23.639 --> 00:10:31.240
mother's voice. The tears started and didn't stop. I miss

121
00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:38.559
you and Dad. Jimmy, Yeah, it's me, it's me. Static

122
00:10:38.679 --> 00:10:48.799
buzzed Jimmy, Jimmy. The line went dead. That fucking sealed

123
00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:53.000
the deal, that's for sure. If I could hear them,

124
00:10:53.559 --> 00:10:57.679
I knew I could see them again. Just a few

125
00:10:57.720 --> 00:11:09.639
more tweaks make that hole a little bigger. We had

126
00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:12.360
set up shop at the school across from where my

127
00:11:12.519 --> 00:11:16.000
parents had lived, a house that had been boarded up

128
00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:19.519
for years, as I just couldn't bear to sell it,

129
00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:23.840
but I sure as shit couldn't live there. Due to

130
00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:27.440
it being Christmas break, it was a real ghost town.

131
00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:29.879
And as soon as we picked the lock on the

132
00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:34.559
cafeteria service door and slipped inside, we set up our

133
00:11:34.600 --> 00:11:39.559
amplifiers and boom boxes and got down to fucking brass tacks.

134
00:11:40.759 --> 00:11:44.200
Philip had managed to score a camcorder and shit from

135
00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:48.320
the electronics store he worked at, and as he calibrated

136
00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:52.279
it or jammed a tape inside it or some such shit,

137
00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:56.279
I got to work on how to make that hole bigger.

138
00:11:57.559 --> 00:12:01.679
As before the exact tones were what were key, and soon,

139
00:12:01.799 --> 00:12:06.559
with guitars screaming and drums pounding, I got those signals

140
00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:13.159
to match, and boom a bigger hole. I swallowed hard,

141
00:12:14.279 --> 00:12:19.039
Wish me luck, I grabbed the camcorder and walked towards

142
00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:25.000
the sparkling gash in the universe, Good luck, dumbass. I

143
00:12:25.080 --> 00:12:29.480
stepped in and my head exploded with light and sound.

144
00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:37.679
When my senses returned, I realized where I was, exactly

145
00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:42.720
where I had stepped in, But no amps, no fillip,

146
00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:47.559
just an angry, glowing hole and a calendar on the

147
00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:52.720
wall that read nineteen eighty nine instead of nineteen ninety

148
00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:58.159
nine as it should. The school was equally abandoned, and

149
00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:02.639
I soon exited and entered parking lot. Snow was beginning

150
00:13:02.679 --> 00:13:06.159
to fall in large flakes as I trudged across the

151
00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:10.799
street to my parents' house under a full moon. No

152
00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:16.559
lights on Dad's truck, not in the driveway. Great, I

153
00:13:16.679 --> 00:13:21.120
picked the rare night they actually went somewhere. I made

154
00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:23.960
my way up the driveway and unlocked the front door

155
00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:27.919
with the key I still kept on my keychain. I

156
00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:31.080
entered the house, and even in the dark, I could

157
00:13:31.080 --> 00:13:34.240
tell that it looked exactly as it had a decade ago.

158
00:13:35.159 --> 00:13:40.600
It even smelled the same, like warm coffee and smokes,

159
00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:45.440
which you wouldn't think would be nostalgic, but totally was.

160
00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:51.159
Lights flashed outside as a car drove up the driveway.

161
00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:55.840
Definitely not Dad. He was a back ind to the

162
00:13:55.919 --> 00:14:01.240
driveway parking zelot. It then hit me, what would a

163
00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:04.240
ten years older version of myself be doing in my

164
00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:10.879
parents house. That may be hard to explain. Maybe I

165
00:14:10.919 --> 00:14:14.440
don't look that different. Maybe I can just pretend to

166
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:22.919
be me. I hid in the seldom used downstairs closet

167
00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:26.759
and peeked out of the slightly ajar door to get

168
00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:31.399
a sense of who was coming home. The headlights retreated

169
00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:35.240
as the door opened, and the kitchen light switch was

170
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:42.279
turned on, And there I was. Fuck nineteen eighty nine

171
00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:47.879
Me looked young. Nineteen ninety nine. Me was already overly

172
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:54.200
tired even in my mid twenties. Oh crap, I remember

173
00:14:54.279 --> 00:15:00.799
this night. I just got back from National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. Yep,

174
00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:05.840
there's the popcorn bucket. I'm still eating from butter soaked

175
00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:10.519
kernels with sour sweet spree candy mixed in going into

176
00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:15.200
my open gob with wild abandon. Be careful, my dude,

177
00:15:15.799 --> 00:15:19.759
that shit is already catching up with me. Philip's older

178
00:15:19.879 --> 00:15:23.679
sister drove us not important, but definitely part of the

179
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:29.480
fond memory slash dopamine hit mixed with deja vus. For me,

180
00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:33.879
at least, that sets the tone for this whole sordid shebang.

181
00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:37.960
Did I mention that the closet was just off the kitchen,

182
00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:41.919
Well it was, and I gasped as I opened the

183
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:46.080
fridge just inches away from where I was hiding, and

184
00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:51.080
poured myself a large glass of unsweetened iced tea, then

185
00:15:51.240 --> 00:15:55.879
sauntered off to play some Nintendo and masturbate a classic

186
00:15:56.000 --> 00:16:01.080
late eighties Jimmy Knight. I remained in the closet, dizzy

187
00:16:01.159 --> 00:16:05.679
from the re experience waves of nausea, swaying to and

188
00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:09.360
fro Okay, maybe I should have thought out a little

189
00:16:09.360 --> 00:16:11.519
more what I would do when I got here, but

190
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:16.159
it's too late to deal with that now, which seems

191
00:16:16.200 --> 00:16:19.879
ironic given what we're dealing with here. I needed to

192
00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:23.840
get back to the school and think things over. Should

193
00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:29.840
be easy, peasy, given that I'm currently distracted upstairs. I

194
00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:34.159
exited the closet with Ninja level stealth, which means I

195
00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.200
only knocked a minimum amount of shit everywhere as I

196
00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:42.320
awkwardly stumbled out, only to see the familiar red lights

197
00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:47.360
of my dad backing up the driveway. This was supposed

198
00:16:47.399 --> 00:16:53.840
to be sweet and emotional. Now it's an exercise in terror. Wait,

199
00:16:55.039 --> 00:17:01.720
I got it, my parents stepped into the kitchen and

200
00:17:01.799 --> 00:17:07.200
I hugged them tightly. My ruse was flawless. Upstairs, me

201
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:10.480
couldn't care less that his parents were home, so he

202
00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:13.119
was set, and I had pulled the hood of my

203
00:17:13.240 --> 00:17:17.119
sweatshirt over my head so as to disguise the fact

204
00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:20.359
I had a completely different haircut and had put on

205
00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:25.480
a solid fifteen pounds since they left earlier. My dad,

206
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:29.480
whom I'd never hugged a day in my life, seemed shocked,

207
00:17:30.200 --> 00:17:34.759
but my mother seemed to enjoy the sudden affectionate outburst.

208
00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:39.720
Only the phone ringing brought the picture perfect moment to

209
00:17:39.799 --> 00:17:44.079
an end, and of course it was my dumb ass

210
00:17:44.119 --> 00:17:54.680
on the other end, calling from the future. Well you've

211
00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:58.319
already heard the call, but now my parents turned to

212
00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:03.799
look at me strangely. Who was that? I asked sheepishly.

213
00:18:05.240 --> 00:18:11.720
It it sounded like you, my mother responded, confused as fuck.

214
00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.759
I broke out into a bit of the old unconvincing

215
00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:20.880
laughter and offered that, damn Philip, his pranks never end.

216
00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:24.559
I shot glances to my parents to see if they

217
00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:29.880
bought that one. Confusion continued to rule the room. Well

218
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:35.640
I better head out, Where are you going an innocent question,

219
00:18:35.799 --> 00:18:41.039
but really really not needed At the moment. Before I

220
00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:45.079
could answer my mother, I heard the floorboards creak above

221
00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:51.000
the kitchen, right where my room was located. What the

222
00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:54.039
hell was I going to do? Now? If I walked

223
00:18:54.039 --> 00:18:56.880
down those stairs and popped into the kitchen to find

224
00:18:56.920 --> 00:19:01.000
me talking to my parents, shit would decidely head south

225
00:19:01.079 --> 00:19:06.400
quicker than it already was. And as if on que

226
00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:12.680
down I came to say I panicked would be an understatement.

227
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:17.039
My dad turned and saw me entering the kitchen where

228
00:19:17.079 --> 00:19:24.279
I was currently standing. Brains were starting to break, mostly mine,

229
00:19:24.359 --> 00:19:28.440
so I did the only thing I could. I ran

230
00:19:28.559 --> 00:19:31.319
up to myself and planted a huge kiss on my

231
00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:37.240
own lips. Look, we all react to stress differently. Also,

232
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:44.519
this was an incredibly sucky decision. Our lips collided, and

233
00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:49.839
time and space unraveled around me, both of me technically,

234
00:19:50.759 --> 00:19:55.079
and as each bizarre iteration of reality danced past my eyes,

235
00:19:55.960 --> 00:20:01.720
I mercifully lost consciousness. As a large animal roar sounded

236
00:20:01.880 --> 00:20:08.880
far in the distance. I woke up at the school.

237
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:12.559
Philip was frantically trying to drag me out of there.

238
00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:19.519
Everything was hazy until we arrived at Philip's apartment anyway,

239
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:23.440
a cup of coffee in hand, we began to fill

240
00:20:23.480 --> 00:20:27.920
each other in as best we could. How long was

241
00:20:27.960 --> 00:20:32.839
I gone? A week? A whole fucking week. I kept

242
00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:35.680
going back to check for you, but there was no

243
00:20:35.799 --> 00:20:40.960
sign until today. What day is it? New Year's Eve?

244
00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:46.039
Not that that's important. Tell me what went on? Did

245
00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:52.640
you see them your parents? I sure did? Details well.

246
00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:57.680
I hid in a closet, hugged my parents and kissed

247
00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:03.680
myself on the lips. It's great. Wait what I confronted

248
00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:07.119
myself and it was all I could think to do.

249
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:12.680
That's all you could think to do. Yeah, it was

250
00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:19.680
a stressful day. So how were you? How was I? Yeah?

251
00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:24.440
As a kisser, good form, soft lips. Are you getting

252
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:24.960
off on this?

253
00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:25.759
What?

254
00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:30.000
No? Hell? No, I was pretty good. I knew it

255
00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:34.599
the fuck you mean? You knew it? Nothing? Thinking out loud?

256
00:21:35.319 --> 00:21:39.920
What happened next? You know, a total falling apart of

257
00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:45.640
reality and maybe a monstrous growl or two, and then

258
00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:51.160
you came through a week later? Apparently? Do you think

259
00:21:51.240 --> 00:21:55.920
you fucked anything up? What do you mean, like? Did

260
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.480
you break some sort of time travel law or something?

261
00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:03.960
When pass in future? You locked lips? How the hell?

262
00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:07.559
Do I know. I'm just some motherfucker that discovered he

263
00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:10.759
could fuck with time because White Snake and Rat were

264
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:17.680
cranked up to the nines. Fair point. What's next? What's next?

265
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:22.000
There is no next mission? Complete. Now we grab some

266
00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:26.079
eggnog and watch the ball drop. We can't stop now

267
00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:31.160
it worked. You sent yourself back in time. Imagine what

268
00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:35.920
we could see, what we could experience. We can stop

269
00:22:35.960 --> 00:22:40.240
at the wei part. It's my ass going through those portals.

270
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:46.599
It's that bad of an experience, honestly, No minus that

271
00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:52.799
trip back. So let's do it again. Not sold, my dude.

272
00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:56.039
Maybe in the New Year. Well, if the computers all

273
00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:59.240
go tits up come twelve oh one, we may need

274
00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:03.680
to beat a rich I read anyway, that's just media bullshit.

275
00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:08.279
I'm sure a computer can handle a fucking zero. Besides,

276
00:23:08.440 --> 00:23:13.160
isn't like it already two thousand in Australia. Switch on

277
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:17.240
the tube. I bet things are solid down under as predicted.

278
00:23:17.319 --> 00:23:20.400
The news showed New Year's Eve going down without a

279
00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:26.720
hitch in various locales. See no problem, turn it over

280
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:31.079
to the ball for a fraction of a second. The

281
00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:38.519
apartment seemed different, heavily fortified, but Dick Clark distracted me,

282
00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:44.759
or the lack of him. Turns out they weren't doing

283
00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:48.759
the televised ball drop in favor of some y two

284
00:23:48.839 --> 00:23:54.440
K flavored news bullshit? Is there a three Stooges marathon

285
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:59.599
on or something? Philip began cycling through the stations before

286
00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:05.640
find the anticipated hilarious violence. Ah, there it is, Moe

287
00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:10.079
grinding a handsaw across Curly's bald head, metal teeth flying

288
00:24:10.119 --> 00:24:15.920
from the blade. I laughed, Philip laughed. A commercial broke

289
00:24:15.960 --> 00:24:21.000
in for some y two K preparedness video hosted by Spock,

290
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:25.720
of all people, we laughed at that too, until a

291
00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:31.519
sweaty Peter Jennings interrupted our slap happy good times. What

292
00:24:31.559 --> 00:24:35.759
I'm about to report to you is unbelievable, but it

293
00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:41.319
is happening. The camera pulled out slightly, revealing a skeletal

294
00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:47.119
arm holding a knife threatening the revered news anchor. An invasion,

295
00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:57.240
A surreal invasion is taking place. Creatures, monsters. The feed

296
00:24:57.359 --> 00:25:03.359
went to static before revealing a reptilian face, cobalt blue

297
00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:09.599
and toothy filling the frame. The figure leaned back, revealing

298
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:12.799
a t Rex clad in a leather get up with

299
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:18.119
a World War II Nazi helmet, balancing on its nightmare noggin.

300
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:24.160
Before the dinosaur even uttered a word, I realized just

301
00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:28.799
how much I fucked up. The t rex shifted on

302
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:33.680
his throne, constructed of mangled cars and bones, and cleared

303
00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:37.759
its throat, which was a fever dream in and of itself.

304
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:43.559
Philip looked at me sternly. All I could do was shrug.

305
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:48.559
People of timeline one eight eight zero eight seven to

306
00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:50.279
two hear me.

307
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:56.079
I Caligula Khan, the hero of the Battle of zerth six,

308
00:25:56.599 --> 00:26:02.079
God of the Compsognathus, order of exileiastic shit sharpshooters, principle

309
00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:06.119
of Miss Mary's Home for Wayward Girls, and all around

310
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:12.680
draconian leader have arrived here to expand my dominion. We

311
00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:17.960
sat open mouthed. You will bow before my leather daddy

312
00:26:18.039 --> 00:26:22.440
bone boys, and turn yourselves into your local reassignment center

313
00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:29.079
following this very broadcast. There you will receive further instructions

314
00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:33.960
A fast moving list of addresses scrolled before returning to

315
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:40.640
Caligula Khan. Also, unauthorized music played at loud volume is

316
00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:47.240
hereby for boten shit. I think he's on to us now.

317
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:51.680
Credit where credit is due. None of this would be

318
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:56.200
possible without the help of my Chrono Lost Romeo buddy

319
00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:03.200
Saint Jimmy behind Khan a giant banner unfurled, revealing a

320
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:08.480
portrait of myself adorned in saintly attire. My lips were

321
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:13.839
full and deep, Crimson, and I was preparing to suck

322
00:27:13.960 --> 00:27:18.759
my own dick. Brilliant phillips glare intensified.

323
00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:20.960
What well.

324
00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:24.240
I hope you enjoyed that smooch, because your foreplay is

325
00:27:24.279 --> 00:27:28.720
going to end in all of us getting fucked. Oh yeah,

326
00:27:28.759 --> 00:27:34.839
I totally planned this knock it off, but you did it.

327
00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:38.599
It was kind of virgin territory. There isn't an instruction

328
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:42.359
manual for something that shouldn't exist outside of a rerun

329
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:46.359
of Doctor Fucking Who. How are you going to fix it?

330
00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:51.079
Now that I've unleashed Godzilla Hitler on the world, it's

331
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:58.000
you and not we. Huh, that's right, Philip, phil Philly

332
00:27:58.119 --> 00:28:01.799
Cheese Steak. Come on, I'm probably going to need some

333
00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:06.559
assistance if I'm going to save our reality and all well,

334
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:10.000
count me out. This is all way too much. I

335
00:28:10.119 --> 00:28:14.359
need to clear my head. And with that, Philip exited

336
00:28:14.440 --> 00:28:19.200
stage left and straight into the gentle embrace of Khan's

337
00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:25.039
leather fetish skeletons. This was rapidly getting out of hand.

338
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:31.799
I sat in Philip's apartment and thought things through, which

339
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:36.200
was a clear mistake given the absolute lunatic asylum nature

340
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:39.759
of the biz at hand. The image of that banner

341
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:44.640
kept coming back to haunt my thoughts. Then it occurred

342
00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:48.240
to me step one should be to lean into that shit.

343
00:28:49.079 --> 00:28:51.640
A thought pounded its way into my mind with that

344
00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:56.039
old deja vus. I grabbed a bag of powdered sugar

345
00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:58.839
that freaky phil liked to use in his morning coffee,

346
00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:04.079
mostly because I just couldn't help myself. Like Philip, I

347
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:08.359
brazenly strolled from the apartment to the street below. But

348
00:29:08.519 --> 00:29:14.400
as with a lot of things, results may vary. I

349
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:18.599
hit the streets, but any skeletal forces I encountered, went

350
00:29:18.680 --> 00:29:23.480
down on one knee and made an exaggerated blowjob motion,

351
00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:27.559
but it was more station of the cross rather than

352
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:33.960
mocking wise assery. Plan. I need a plan, I repeated

353
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:40.319
in a hushed sing song tone. Skeletons, people screaming, whispered

354
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:45.519
curses wished upon me. None of this was helping. Obviously,

355
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:48.640
more time travel was going to be the answer, but

356
00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:52.960
blasting hair metal would attract the ire of those bonehead

357
00:29:53.079 --> 00:29:58.079
bastards lickety freakin' split. So I walked and I thought

358
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:03.640
until a glove skeletal hand fell on my shoulder from behind.

359
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:08.319
The being spoke, but a giant ball gag prevented any

360
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:16.359
words from being remotely intelligible. Sorry, pal, no comprende, it

361
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:20.720
mumbled a few more times. I pointed towards the gag,

362
00:30:21.079 --> 00:30:24.960
which the skeleton removed with a wet pop that defied

363
00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:32.119
logic given the creature's lack of saliva. Jimmy, who's asking?

364
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:39.519
Technically me, skeleton five six seven eight? What's your name? Basically?

365
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:44.519
I mean, as far as this occupation is concerned, it's

366
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:48.960
so informal. I agree. Do you have like a first

367
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:51.960
and last name or is it just mister five six

368
00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:57.359
seven eight Oliver? What my name is? Oliver? Do you

369
00:30:57.400 --> 00:31:02.960
have a last name? Close off, Oliver, clothes off. You've

370
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:07.480
gotta be fucking with me, No, that is forbidden. Only

371
00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:11.880
Saint Jimmy may fornicate with Saint Jimmy. The regret over

372
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:15.799
this conversation was beginning to surge like a mighty river

373
00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:23.440
rolling my eyes. I hesitantly asked, Okay, Oliver, what can

374
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:27.559
I do for you? The Great Kahn requests an audience

375
00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:32.440
with you? Of course he does, But isn't he in Manhattan?

376
00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:35.480
That's like three hours from here, and I don't have

377
00:31:35.519 --> 00:31:39.720
any wheels, my man. Two more skeletons joined the first,

378
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:46.240
carrying boomboxes and kneeled. They played an unholy amalgamation of

379
00:31:46.519 --> 00:31:51.000
Celine Dion and Mariah Carey, which opened a vivid lavender

380
00:31:51.119 --> 00:32:03.720
hole that Oliver shoved me into without warning. I crash

381
00:32:03.839 --> 00:32:07.640
landed hard before the t rex is thrown, as I

382
00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:12.240
had a thought, Shit, the tones can be used for

383
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:18.880
spontaneous teleportation. That one never occurred to me. Saint Jimmy

384
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:26.160
in the flesh, Praise be the dinosaur hissed, Praise be

385
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:34.519
the skeleton throng in attendance, repeated reverently. So what can

386
00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:36.920
I do for you? Not a hell of a lot

387
00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:43.319
besides what you've already done. Great. Well, Uh, you're welcome.

388
00:32:43.799 --> 00:32:49.440
Guess I'll be moseying along, not so fast. I'd be

389
00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:55.839
honored if you'd be my guest here. Guest, Yeah, guest

390
00:32:56.119 --> 00:33:04.279
like feasts and shit? Sounds cool? But what's the catch? No, catch. Okay,

391
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.799
I'm game. Do you have like a table or some

392
00:33:07.960 --> 00:33:13.720
shit we can gnawsh around? Indeed, I do. Con rose

393
00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:18.160
from his throne and removed his helmet, revealing a jade

394
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:23.519
green mohawk equal parts hair and feathers. He shook his

395
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:27.480
punk rock mane with wild abandon and gestured towards a

396
00:33:27.559 --> 00:33:31.519
giant blood red curtain, which fell to reveal a long

397
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:36.680
wooden table, the far end of which ended in a cage.

398
00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:42.799
Let me guess I'm sitting at the kid's table. I spat,

399
00:33:43.319 --> 00:33:48.079
gesturing towards the seat inside the cage. It's just a

400
00:33:48.119 --> 00:33:52.720
precaution in case you have any designs on pissing on

401
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:58.000
my parade and all, I wouldn't dream of it. I

402
00:33:58.119 --> 00:34:04.640
would hence the ounce of prevention. Caligula Khan motion towards

403
00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:10.480
the cage, and I obliged. The courses came fast and furious,

404
00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:15.199
and I have to admit the banquet was choice. What

405
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:19.119
exactly is your plan for all this? I asked, through

406
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:24.400
chicken grease smeared lips. Not much, really, just a little

407
00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:28.159
shift in the ruling class, turn a couple million folks

408
00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:34.159
into skeletons under my sway, Just a Tuesday, really and

409
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:39.360
my part in this your Tiger Beat cover material baby

410
00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:44.599
a pretty relatable human face to soothe and rally the masses.

411
00:34:46.039 --> 00:34:51.519
So a traitor to the human race, but cute. Basically

412
00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:56.239
I can live with that, I lied, taking another bite

413
00:34:56.280 --> 00:35:02.639
of roast chicken. Excellent. Now let's begin the night's entertainment.

414
00:35:03.519 --> 00:35:09.039
Pyro and screeching guitars heralded the arrival of both Whitesnake

415
00:35:09.199 --> 00:35:14.719
and Rat with a sizeable portion of original members. The

416
00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:19.880
guitars grew quiet, and the performance began with both bands

417
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:25.320
whisper singing a collection of their respective greatest hits. Shit

418
00:35:26.159 --> 00:35:29.440
this as Lips was definitely hitting all the right notes

419
00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:35.159
to get my attention while simultaneously assuring no time Shenanigans

420
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:39.239
would fuck up his Christmas, so to speak. It was

421
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:44.360
then I remembered my stash from Philip's place. Rat Stephen

422
00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:49.920
Parsy came close, crooning way cool, Junior, and I held

423
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:55.400
aloft my magic bag and said, by the power of cocaine,

424
00:35:55.960 --> 00:36:01.480
you shall sing louder kind of anyway. It a hey, kids,

425
00:36:01.599 --> 00:36:04.880
drugs play louder and don't let Satan's minions know about it,

426
00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:08.559
and you'll get your booger candy directly, and by the

427
00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:13.400
time they realized that the Columbian gold was actually overprocessed sugar,

428
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:18.360
I'd be balls deep in the time stream words spread

429
00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:22.679
fast among the performers assembled that Saint Jimmy was holding

430
00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:26.480
and he'd give it up for maximum strength rock and roll.

431
00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:31.480
Each band tore through hit after hit, each song getting

432
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:36.800
progressively louder, until I finally caught glimpse of that sparkling

433
00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:42.239
portal right inside my prison. And when Khan was distracted

434
00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:45.719
by an errand piece of meat lodged between two of

435
00:36:45.800 --> 00:36:49.960
his copious teeth, I made my move and tipped right

436
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.360
into the gateway. As that fabric tour, I could have

437
00:36:54.440 --> 00:37:04.679
sworn that rat was comprised of human sized hair metal rodents.

438
00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:09.280
I emerged in nineteen eighty nine Manhattan with no plan

439
00:37:09.480 --> 00:37:14.800
and no clue, which admittedly was right on brand, but

440
00:37:14.920 --> 00:37:18.280
at the very least there was no t Rex overlords

441
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:23.760
or kinky skeletons. Maybe, with things said at least somewhat

442
00:37:23.800 --> 00:37:27.719
back to normal, maybe I could attempt to sort this

443
00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:32.400
mess out. As I walked through Times Square, I quickly

444
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:36.159
learned that the mess was much deeper than I thought.

445
00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:41.320
For starters. Every neon drenched billboard that featured a human

446
00:37:41.480 --> 00:37:47.159
form was off by quite a large margin, as every

447
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:54.320
actor or brand spokesmodel was now in anthropomorphic feline. Fuck

448
00:37:55.039 --> 00:37:58.599
I hope real rat based rat never ends up here

449
00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:05.000
passed a sign for the hot Broadway musical Humans, which

450
00:38:05.039 --> 00:38:09.719
featured catfolk in flashy costumes and makeup to make them

451
00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:14.360
appear as Homo sapiens. I pulled my hood tight over

452
00:38:14.400 --> 00:38:19.519
my face because that worked aces last time. But admittedly

453
00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:25.360
that's all I had at the moment until genius struck.

454
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:29.599
Maybe I could go a bit sideways, end up in

455
00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:33.239
summer of nineteen eighty nine and stop myself from making

456
00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:37.599
this discovery in the first place. Technically I had all

457
00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:40.639
the time in the world to work on this little

458
00:38:41.159 --> 00:38:51.119
brain teaser. Long story longer. I hid out in cat

459
00:38:51.119 --> 00:38:54.599
Haattan and worked on finding tones that could send me

460
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:58.119
where I needed to go. I had help, of course,

461
00:38:58.679 --> 00:39:03.400
including faithful Fluffy Perhams, a long haired Persian cat with

462
00:39:03.480 --> 00:39:08.639
an innate aptitude for time travel. And as Fluffy licked

463
00:39:08.639 --> 00:39:13.239
his hand slash pause and wished me adieu, I stepped

464
00:39:13.239 --> 00:39:20.280
into the shimmering void and hoped for the best. I

465
00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:25.400
emerged behind a bush in Philip's backyard. There we were

466
00:39:25.559 --> 00:39:29.599
just lounging by the pool, stuffing our faces with cool

467
00:39:29.679 --> 00:39:35.639
Ranch Doritos music blaring. This was going to require cracker

468
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:39.960
jack timing, but that fucking radio is going to get

469
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:43.920
turned down and prevent this horse crap from becoming a reality.

470
00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:48.480
I stealthed my way around the deck until I was

471
00:39:48.519 --> 00:39:52.960
positioned behind the radio and out of sight. I reached

472
00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:56.800
up to turn it off. What the fuck? Who's down there?

473
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:02.360
Philip exclaimed? Before I knew it, Philip and I were

474
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:07.719
looking down at me from the deck. Dude, he looks

475
00:40:07.840 --> 00:40:12.800
just like you, but like older time comes for us

476
00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:18.119
all ass lips, I spat back. He sounds like you too.

477
00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:21.199
I reached into my hoodie in the desperate hope to

478
00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:27.480
find a distraction, but came up empty. Desperate times indeed,

479
00:40:28.760 --> 00:40:33.719
then it hit me, holy shit, guys, is that Kelly

480
00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:39.800
Bundy and those dipshits actually looked. I grabbed the radio

481
00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:43.639
and booked it across the yard. I could hear Philip

482
00:40:43.679 --> 00:40:49.360
angrily discover my Christina Applegate centric ruse. I ran further

483
00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:53.400
almost to the back gate, and then out on the streets.

484
00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:57.320
I ducked into a neighbor's shed and caught my breath.

485
00:40:58.639 --> 00:41:03.159
The deep laughter came soon, pure relief over a situation

486
00:41:03.360 --> 00:41:07.519
well and truly avoided. I must have sat in there

487
00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:12.679
for a half hour, wallowing in my success. Finally I

488
00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:16.280
gathered myself and peeked out of the shed to check

489
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:17.559
if the coast was clear.

490
00:41:18.800 --> 00:41:19.039
Shit.

491
00:41:20.119 --> 00:41:25.559
The entire yard was filled with leather clad skeletons. I

492
00:41:25.639 --> 00:41:30.559
shut the door quietly. What the hell I took the

493
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:35.280
damn radio, I thought. The air and the shed filled

494
00:41:35.320 --> 00:41:41.119
with the heady aroma of catnip and burning ozone. A

495
00:41:41.159 --> 00:41:46.760
portal opened and Fluffy emerged in full military regalia, and

496
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:50.880
he was flocked by other hard ass cats, as well

497
00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:57.000
as at least five different versions of myself. I messed up,

498
00:41:57.079 --> 00:42:01.199
huh in a way, But there's there's no time to explain.

499
00:42:01.960 --> 00:42:06.360
We need to go, and off I went to try

500
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:11.760
and firefight countless variables across time with an army of

501
00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:27.559
cat people and me, Well, my spookys, the year has

502
00:42:27.679 --> 00:42:31.719
come to a close. I know it wasn't a very

503
00:42:31.760 --> 00:42:35.760
easy year for many of you, but I'm so honored

504
00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:42.480
that this podcast, this little simple desire to feel like

505
00:42:42.599 --> 00:42:47.239
Halloween all year long, a desire felt by myself and

506
00:42:47.320 --> 00:42:52.559
a group of very talented authors could become a part

507
00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:57.360
of that year for you. I know there's a lot

508
00:42:57.400 --> 00:42:59.519
of new people listening, a lot of people who joined

509
00:42:59.559 --> 00:43:02.639
us in our sober and decided to stick around through

510
00:43:02.639 --> 00:43:05.719
the holidays. So I just want to say thank you

511
00:43:06.679 --> 00:43:10.119
from the bottom of my heart. I'm so honored to

512
00:43:10.280 --> 00:43:14.039
entertain you and to bring you all of these wild

513
00:43:14.119 --> 00:43:17.679
and wonderful and creepy stories from so many different authors,

514
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:21.760
to bring you terrifying in true episodes about folklore and

515
00:43:21.800 --> 00:43:26.639
true crime that fascinates me and can fascinate you. This

516
00:43:26.760 --> 00:43:33.760
show is, in many many ways a dream come true

517
00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:35.880
as a young man, as a little kid.

518
00:43:35.639 --> 00:43:41.880
Who just loved Halloween so much because it felt like home.

519
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:46.000
Now I get to celebrate it multiple times a week

520
00:43:46.639 --> 00:43:48.920
with all of you. And it's because of all of

521
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:51.079
you that I can keep doing it, and I can

522
00:43:51.159 --> 00:43:54.679
keep bringing you new types of content, new little shows

523
00:43:54.800 --> 00:43:58.079
like this Week in Horror History, cutting deep into horror

524
00:43:58.119 --> 00:43:58.559
and so.

525
00:43:58.519 --> 00:43:59.519
On and so forth.

526
00:44:00.719 --> 00:44:06.320
It's an incredible, incredible thing to behold. I moved deeply

527
00:44:06.400 --> 00:44:11.559
by it. So thank you all so much for joining us,

528
00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:15.280
for listening for sharing a little bit of your spooky

529
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:19.760
side with us. That's all I have to say. No

530
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:23.000
sales pitch, no run down of anywhere you need to

531
00:44:23.039 --> 00:44:24.639
go or things you need to do for me. You've

532
00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:27.960
already done more than enough, So now I'm going to

533
00:44:28.039 --> 00:44:31.880
take a much needed break because I publish damn near

534
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:35.039
every day since October, and I'll be back soon to

535
00:44:35.039 --> 00:44:40.000
be the voice of your spooky fun. Thank you and

536
00:44:40.079 --> 00:44:40.840
Happy New Year.