Dec. 24, 2025

Otis Slays Christmas: Killer Santa Slasher at Kmart

Otis Slays Christmas: Killer Santa Slasher at Kmart
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Weekly Spooky drops a Christmas Eve horror story soaked in ’90s slasher energy and last-minute retail panic. In Etawah, Oklahoma (1996), Otis Kilgore walks into the Big K like it’s a church—new car, new haircut, new plan—convinced a cashier named Diane has been sending him secret messages. But when the store “messes with” his routine, Otis spirals into a holiday meltdown that turns Blue Light Specials into red-hot violence.

What starts as awkward small-town obsession becomes a full-tilt killer Santa rampage—duct tape, drain cleaner, homemade weapons, and a blizzard outside a big-box store that’s trying to close early for the holiday. Otis isn’t just looking for love. He’s looking for control, and he’s ready to “deliver presents” the only way he knows how: with blood on the tile.

If you’re craving scary Christmas stories, holiday horror, and a brutal, darkly funny slasher that weaponizes the most stressful night of the season, hit play… and don’t wait for the doors to open.

Otis Slays Christmas — by David O’Hanlon

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🎵 Music by Ray Mattis 👉 Check out Ray’s incredible work here !
👨‍💼 Executive Producers: Rob Fields, Bobbletopia.com
🎥 Produced by: Daniel Wilder
🌐 Explore more terrifying tales at: WeeklySpooky.com
WEBVTT

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The parking lot is packed, the lights are blinking, the

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doors are about to lock. Otis thinks the cashier loves him,

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and tonight He's decided to prove it. A Santa suit,

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a shotgun, and a blue light special that turns the

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whole store into a slaughterhouse. How did you get in here?

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What's that you want to be scared?

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Come with me?

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This is Weekly Spooky. Hello, my spookys, It's not only Wednesday,

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it's Christmas Eve and it's time for a little spooky

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in your weekly. I'm your host and narrator, Enrique Kuto,

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and wow, we've had over twenty five show releases in

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the month of December to make sure that your holiday

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season is scary and bright, and we really do appreciate

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you joining us for the ride. My voice is tired,

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my body is a bit weak, and I could use

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a day off, but not before giving you one last

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twisted Christmas gift to unwrap. Whether you're traveling, working one

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more ship, or wrapping gifts, this is meant to help

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you have a little fear in your cheer. And if

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you love what we do here at Weekly Spooky and

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want to send us a little something under the tree.

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Head to Weeklyspooky dot Com slash Join, and for as

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little as one dollar a month, get two bonus episodes

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and over five years of creepypasta readings and audiobooks at

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Weeklyspooky dot Com slash Join. But now let's get to

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the matter at hand and our story for tonight. Lean

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in close. What if the most dangerous thing about Christmas

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Eve wasn't the weather, or the roads or the last

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minute crowds. What if it was the person standing behind

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you in line, smiling oddly too hard, clutching a cart

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full of supplies, convinced the holidays are speak, decide it

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directly to him? Is Santa Nide's story takes you? But

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not the kind that bring on a freezing night in

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nineteen ninety six, where the doors are closing, the music

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is playing, Turn down the lights, plug in the Christmas tree,

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lock the door, and if you hear laughter in the aisles,

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well pray it's coming from the speakers. Otis Slays Christmas

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by David O'Hanlon, Sunday, December twenty second, nineteen ninety six.

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With only three days left until Christmas, the k Smart

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parking lot was packed with holiday shoppers. People drove up

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and down the lanes, endlessly searching for an empty space,

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like it was Captain Flint's treasure. Otis had optioned to

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simply park at the adjacent Daylight Donuts instead of spending

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his Sunday sitting in the parking lot's miniature traffic jam.

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He snugged his workcoat around him. The flat terrain of Ittawa,

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Oklahoma offered little protection from the strong, frigid gusts coming

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out of the Northwest. He stuffed his hands into the

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pockets and fidgeted with the contents as he walked to

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the store. He glanced back at the Pontiac Fierro with

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a stomach full of butterflies. With the holidays, they were

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working lots of mandatory overtime at the Pittman Poultry Plant

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six ten hour days a week. Since August, he'd been

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working in the evisceration department, gutting out turkeys, geese, and

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chickens for family get togethers. He'd saved every dime to

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buy his own car. The Fiarro was a decade old

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with a quarter million miles on the odometer, but at

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least it was his. He couldn't wait to show it

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to Diane Huby, Muller, Carpenter County's most accomplished drunk, rang

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a bell out in front of the store, next to

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a bright red bucket and a Salvation Army sign. No

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doubt it was community service following his indecent exposure incident

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that summer. Hughby couldn't have weighed more than a hundred

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and twenty pounds, and the Santa suit sagged limply over

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his skeletal frame. The stub of an unfiltered Lucky stuck

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out from between the polyester fibers of the fake beard.

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Huby put his whole body into ringing the bell, swinging

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it with his entire arm and zero regard for his

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shoulder health. While he belt it out, half remembered carols,

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ODIs dropped fifty cents into the bucket. On his way

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inside the k Cafes. Little Caesars had just fired up

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their convection ovens with the first cook of the day.

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ODIs paused next to the corral of shopping carts and

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took in a deep breath. The smell brought out a

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little giggle of excitement that happened whenever he was happy

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or nervous, and sometimes just because he'd been bullied his

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entire life over the little tick, but his mother assured

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him it was a good thing. She said he was

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an angel delivering laughter for God's children to enjoy. Otis

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didn't really buy into all that, but it sounded nice.

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He ran his hands through his head, careful not to

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disturb the delicately crafted part. He'd used his father's brilliantine

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to look extra sharp for his big moment. He rubbed

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the greasy remnants off on his denim pants and pulled

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out his shopping list. As soon as he was done,

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he'd go to Diane's lane to check out. She'd started

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cashiering at the Big K back in the spring, and

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Otis had fallen in love with her instantly. She gave

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him little codd messages whenever he came to her for checkout.

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Did you find everything all right today? Did you catch

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our blue light special? Be sure to visit the K

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cafe on your way out? Will you be paying with

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cash or card? He was in every Sunday. She knew

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he didn't have a card to pay with and that

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he always got a slice on the way out, but

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she still asked. That was how he realized she was

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really giving him secret messages. Otis bought a lot of

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puzzle books there after all, she'd probably thought it would

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be a fun way to tell him she had the

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same feelings as he did. Otis loved going home and

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deciphering the cryptograms she gave him after each visit. He

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had a notebook just for the task. Her last one

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had been particularly difficult. He was afraid he wouldn't figure

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it out before his next visit, But the night prior

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he'd had an epiphany. He broke the code and saw

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that she had fallen in love with him as well.

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Every damn week, Diane groaned as she pushed through the

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stockroom doors Jewles, Where are you? Has anyone seen Jewels?

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Two of the seasonal help exchanged stoned glances the manager.

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Diane reminded them, oh, one of them said, but that

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was where the revelation ended. Seriously, Diane huffed, Listen, cheech

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and schlong, have you seen our boss back here or not?

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I think he's in the office, the slightly brighter of

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the two replied. Diane stormed between them straight to the office.

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Jules was tediously studying the previous day's reports. Diane didn't

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bother knocking. She barged in and grabbed the back of

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Jules's chair, spinning him to face the security monitors. She

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jabbed a finger against the screen, indicating a man perusing

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the puzzle book section of the magazine Racks. This shithead

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has been coming in every Sunday since I started working here,

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she said. It doesn't matter how busy I am. He

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only comes to my register. If I'm on break. He

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wanders the store until I'm back. I've been asking you

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for months to take me off the Sunday shift, and

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I've been trying, Jewles said, turning his attention back to

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the reports. Finding Sunday help is hard, and since that

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supercenter opened, our sales have been on the decline. Corporates

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cut our hourly budget. If I hire someone that could

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work your shift, I wouldn't be able to replace those

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hours for you. I'd also have to cut at least

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sixteen more from the others just to keep that person on.

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And for what some guy thinking you give great customer service,

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We have seasonal help. Put one of them on the register.

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Have you met Arnold, He's the best of the batch.

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Jewels pointed at the electronics counter on the monitor. I

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watched that boy tie his shoe the other day and

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he had to recite the bunny thing to get it right.

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He's twenty six, Diane. That's the quality of our seasonal employees.

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They're here to restock Christmas decorations and to give holiday

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shoppers someone to trample while we all retreat to safety.

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They are, for lack of a more gentle term, morons.

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Then for my safety, put one of them in the

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line of fire, Diane demanded. That guy is not right

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in the head. He gives me the creeps, Jewels, what's

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he said? What's he done? Jewles dropped the print out

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on the desk. Having a favorite cashier isn't a crime.

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If he threatens you or bothers you off the clock,

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then I can do something about that. He doesn't even

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linger at your register. Honestly, I've looked into your complaint,

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but there just isn't anything there. If he was here

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for all your shifts, maybe I could trespass him, but

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he he Isn't you work four days a week and

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this is the only one he comes in for. There's

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nothing I can do, Jewles, there is something wrong with

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that guy. He scratched at the four days of accumulated

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scruff on his neck. Before rolling his chair backwards across

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the small office, he pulled the schedule from the bulletin board,

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causing thumbtacks to shake loose from the well worn cork

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and release their papers to the floor. Jewels huffed and

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rolled over them as he returned to the desk. He

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slapped the handwritten schedule down in front of Diane grab

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a pen. He said, you're picking a shift for Christmas Day?

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The hell I am, she scoffed, I have plans. You're

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drinking cocoa and watching Rudolph with your cat. He corrected

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her as he stood and straightened his tie. I'm going

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to go out there and make small talk with the weirdo,

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during which I'm going to casually mention that you are

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out sick today. You're going to sit in the break

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room getting paid the entire time worth mentioning while that

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conversation happens, and then I will come and get you

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once he leaves. In exchange, you are definitely working the

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Christmas reset. You can take off the following Sunday, which

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gives you two weeks without the creep. Maybe he'll take

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an interest in someone else in that time. That's not

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a great plan, Jules, be happy I have one at all,

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the manager shrugged. Work a few hours on the reset

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and you'll be home in time for cartoons. Stop motion.

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Diane scribbled her shift onto the schedule. It's stop motion,

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not a cartoon. Otis tried not to pout as he

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loaded his items onto the conveyor. He'd really want to

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to see Diane. He was going to offer her a

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ride home in the new car. That's when he'd tell

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her that he'd cracked her code and that he was

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in love with her. They'd spend one final Christmas in Itawa,

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but they'd do it together. Then they'd start new lives.

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He'd already worked out every detail. He wrangled the wrapping

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paper on to the checkout's belt and pushed his cart ahead.

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He only ventured into town on Sundays, so he wouldn't

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have another chance to talk to Diane before Christmas. He

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nodded to whatever the cashier said while he tried to

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think of a solution. He didn't even know if Diane

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worked days or nights the rest of the week. Strange stuff,

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mister the cashier said, doing gag gifts. Otis snapped back

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to reality. He looked over the items still waiting to

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be scanned. Duct tape, fishing line, gift boxes, drain cleaner,

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and wrapping paper were all that remained on the conveyor.

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He examined the cashier more carefully. Shelby had already been

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working there when he started making his Sunday trips. Otis

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always thought of her as a display rather than a

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store employee, with the way she dressed herself in the

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latest fashions. She'd gotten her hair done in the frosted

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bob cut made popular by some sitcom actress last season,

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and wore ultra low rise silver tab jeans with a

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blouse that was one deep breath away from blasting the

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buttons into the stratosphere. He wondered if the bimbo had

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somehow figured out his holiday plans. Otis giggled nervously, odds

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and ends. He said, everything is so busy. I thought

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I'd grab some other essential with the gifts. Is all

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I get that, Shelby said, lifting the bottle of sulfuric acid.

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This stuff smells horrible. By the bye. I share an

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apartment with two other girls, so we have a lot

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of clogs. Like every other day. We got those new

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crystals and they work great and they don't stink. Have

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you tried them?

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No?

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ODIs started putting the bags into his cart. Maybe next time.

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Finally getting some time off now that Christmas is here,

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shell Be asked. Otis shot a paranoid glance at her.

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Why was she questioning him? How did she know anything

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about him? His stomach churned. What do you mean, he asked, sharply.

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I've just got a clogged sink, is all. I'm not

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going anywhere. You work for Pittman Poultry, right, shall be

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pointed at the logo on Otis's jacket. My dad works

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there too, so I know the overtime's been crazy. Oh yeah,

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it sure has, ODIs said, but he wasn't convinced by

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her act. She was on to him. What's your father's name?

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Maybe we worked together, Stanley, she said, while scanning the

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wrapping paper. Otis stiffened. That sealed it. There were a

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half dozen Stanley's working at the plant. She'd picked a

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common enough name to throw him off, but it hadn't worked.

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I love the commercials this Christmas. Give your mom a

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big pecker, shall be snorted. Then she laughed. Dad says

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it's uncouth or something, but I think it's hilarious. You

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should really let some of this home repair stuff. Wait.

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You know you guys earned your downtime over there, that's

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for sure home repair. ODIs glanced at the plastic sheeting

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in one of the bags. Repainting for my mother, A

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gift that keeps on giving. Aw, that's sweet. Say you

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wouldn't happen to know when Diane will be back. He

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looked at the total on the display and fumbled for

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00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.480
his wallet. I was sad to hear she's under the weather.

241
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:22.839
She's always so helpful news to me. She didn't look

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sick this morning. Shell Bey shrugged. Must have been something

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00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:31.119
she ate. Is that right? ODIs twisted his toe into

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the floor. Do you know when she works next? Guess

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it depends what's the matter? Right? Otis counted out the money,

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giggling each time he laid out a bill. I sure

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hope it's nothing serious. Otis collected the last of his

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bags and made a hasty exit from the store. He

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paused on the sidewalk, taking in heaving breaths. The parking

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lot warbled and shifted violently. A wave of nausea rushed

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over him. His hands shivered from nerves. Instead of the

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bitter cold wind, Hugh Bee's banging of the Salvation Army

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00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:20.799
bell sounded like a full blown cannonade. Meeting Diane had

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changed his life. Getting the car was just one part

255
00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:29.039
of the equation. Otis was reinventing himself in order to

256
00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:33.279
have a real life with Diane. And there was still

257
00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:38.200
so much to do. But they were on to him,

258
00:19:38.440 --> 00:19:43.359
and they'd blown their cover. Managers didn't just tell customers

259
00:19:43.400 --> 00:19:48.720
about cashiers being outsick. All those questions were a ruse

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to draw out a confession so they could hold him

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for conspiracy. Otis knew the score. The Feds had been

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on his back ever since his discharge. He'd caught them

263
00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:06.839
plenty of times in their little costumes, pretending to be panhandlers, waitresses,

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even coworkers. Yeah, Otis knew they were watching. They had

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00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:18.319
figured out his Christmas plans, which meant he had another problem.

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He kept all of that information in a journal under

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his bed. Otis pushed the cart across the parking lot,

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grinding his teeth the entire way to the doughnut shop.

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There was a mole in his home and Otis knew

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00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:41.519
exactly who it was and why she'd sold him out.

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That was why he was going to kill her to

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begin with. It was late the next morning when ODIs

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ventured into the den carrying a large wrapped hat box.

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He stopped between his father and the antiquated television. Holding

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00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:07.000
the gift out in front of him. He bit down

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00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:11.000
on his tongue to keep from giggling, knowing the sound

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00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:16.279
would spur another verbal assault from his old man. What

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00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:20.559
the sam hill is this? Read, Kilgore demanded from his

279
00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:26.480
lazy boy. Christmas ain't till Wednesday, I know, Otis said,

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00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:31.000
handing him the package. It's like that song, you know,

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00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:34.960
the one about the twelve days of presence. Twelve days,

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00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:39.240
Otis not two. What happened to the other ten? His

283
00:21:39.400 --> 00:21:42.960
father asked, couldn't afford them after buying that piece of

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shit Pontiac. It's a classic, dad, Otis whined, It's got

285
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more miles than Santa's goddamn sleigh. Reid shook the box

286
00:21:53.640 --> 00:21:58.160
as violently as the arthritis allowed. Better not be geese,

287
00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:01.400
a fucking layan, or another one of those free turkeys

288
00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:05.599
you get from work. Don't worry, dad, it's not a bird,

289
00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:10.559
ODIs promised with a giggle. Hope, it's a copy of

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00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:15.519
your lease agreement read spat. You're thirty six, Otis, you

291
00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:17.960
want to give me a useful gift, move the hell

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00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:21.359
out of my basement. Well, that gift was going to

293
00:22:21.400 --> 00:22:25.039
wait until Christmas morning, but I guess the cat's out

294
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of the bag now I am moving out, dad, Otis

295
00:22:29.079 --> 00:22:33.039
told him, as he knelt behind the couch for another gift.

296
00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:38.680
Hits a merry fucking Christmas. Indeed, read let out a

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00:22:38.839 --> 00:22:42.799
hacking smoker's laugh. Let's see what's in the box. Then

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00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:48.759
Otis watched as his father tore off the pristine wrapping paper.

299
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:54.079
The scraps collected around his chair, Awaiting the first opportunity

300
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:57.519
for the old man to bitch about someone needing to

301
00:22:57.559 --> 00:23:02.359
clean it up. He flipped the it off. ODIs chewed

302
00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:07.440
his bottom lip, but then broke out into boisterous chuckling

303
00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:13.599
when he saw his father's confusion. The elder Kilgore stared

304
00:23:13.640 --> 00:23:18.079
into the box with its plastic liner before giving it

305
00:23:18.119 --> 00:23:21.839
a shake. Boy, only you could forget to put the

306
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:25.119
present in the box before you wrapped it, Reid said,

307
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:28.920
the goddamn sperm that made you must have been swimming backwards.

308
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:34.960
H silly me. I'll fill it in now, dad, ODIs said,

309
00:23:35.559 --> 00:23:43.160
Chambering the axe over his shoulder, ODIs hummed jingle bells

310
00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:49.000
while he rewrapped the box containing Reed's head. His father's

311
00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:53.559
body was still sitting in the recliner. ODIs felt a

312
00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:57.400
warm drip on the back of his neck and looked

313
00:23:57.480 --> 00:24:03.440
up at the arterial spray across the textured ceiling. He

314
00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:06.920
hadn't considered that when he came up with the plan.

315
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:11.240
He wasn't sure how he'd clean it up either, but

316
00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:17.240
it probably wouldn't matter in the long run. Brakes squealed

317
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:21.559
to a stop under the car port. Otis checked his

318
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:26.240
watch and cursed. His mother and sister had gone to

319
00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:30.039
the mall for some last minute shopping and were supposed

320
00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:33.400
to go see family friends so that Josie could show

321
00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:37.480
off her fuck trophies. Otis should have had a few

322
00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:42.119
more hours to kill. He turned the volume up on

323
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:45.200
the TV and shut the den's door as he went

324
00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:48.519
to greet them. He opened the kitchen door to the

325
00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:53.160
car port and watched his sister unbuckle the first kid.

326
00:24:54.200 --> 00:24:58.880
Otis couldn't stand his niece. She was ten, and rambled

327
00:24:59.000 --> 00:25:03.880
endlessly about her Tamagatchi in a shrill, half shriek that

328
00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:08.480
never lowered in volume or speed. The other one, CJ

329
00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:13.359
seemed decent enough. The two year old didn't say much,

330
00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:19.119
and he was fascinated by Otis's work knives. They'd arrived

331
00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:23.440
Friday evening along with Josie and her husband. The first

332
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:27.319
dipshit cowboy she could find when she got to Utah.

333
00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:33.200
Carlton was a wiry, sun baked car salesman from Provo.

334
00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:37.039
He'd come with Josie on three visits over the past decade,

335
00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:41.799
and Otis was sure Carlton hated him more each time.

336
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:48.160
That was to be expected, he supposed, After all, Josie

337
00:25:48.200 --> 00:25:53.720
never could keep a secret. Clara Belle got out of

338
00:25:53.759 --> 00:25:58.240
the car, and for once, she wasn't screaming. Her eyes

339
00:25:58.279 --> 00:26:02.359
were dark rimmed, and ODIs noticed vomit spatter on her

340
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:07.119
fluorescent sweatshirt. She pulled her denim jacket tight around her,

341
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:12.359
heading straight into the house without a word. What's wrong

342
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:16.880
with her? ODIs asked. She talked mom into eating at

343
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:21.440
the food court, Josie said, leaning against the station wagon.

344
00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:26.000
Then an entire bag of gummy worms fifteen minutes later,

345
00:26:26.759 --> 00:26:31.240
then a Fanta, then some chocolate covered pretzels. We weren't

346
00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:34.759
at the Bohannons ten minutes before she downed six buckeyes

347
00:26:35.160 --> 00:26:39.000
and turned into a puke fountain. His sister ducked into

348
00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:42.799
the vehicle to unhook CJ from his car seat. The

349
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:49.160
toddler clamored down clumsily and hugged Otis's leg before waddling inside.

350
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:53.920
Don't bother Grandpa, he said, with a slight snicker. He

351
00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:57.319
might lose his head. Dad's in one of his moods,

352
00:26:57.960 --> 00:27:01.559
Josie asked, as she squeezed past her him, pausing long

353
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:06.119
enough for their bodies to press together. Oh dear, their

354
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:09.640
mother said, struggling to grab as many bags as possible.

355
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:13.359
I sure hope it passes before your uncle arrives. We

356
00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:17.680
don't need another one of those Christmases, like Dad needs

357
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:22.799
an extra excuse, Josie said, under her breath. Otis watched

358
00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:25.880
her walking through the kitchen. He was sure it was

359
00:27:25.960 --> 00:27:28.839
her that had told the Feds what he was planning.

360
00:27:29.480 --> 00:27:32.920
Ever since they were kids, she'd been nosing around where

361
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:36.480
she wasn't supposed to. She must have found his journal

362
00:27:36.519 --> 00:27:40.079
while he was at work. Friday night, Otis went and

363
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:43.359
helped his mother collect the rest of the bags, after

364
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:47.240
promising he wouldn't look inside any of them. Once she'd

365
00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:51.160
separated the gifts from everything else, she ran off to

366
00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:55.680
her bedroom to begin wrapping. Josie sauntered into the kitchen

367
00:27:55.759 --> 00:27:59.680
to help Otis put away the rest. Mister Bohannon wanted

368
00:27:59.720 --> 00:28:03.000
to show off his new pool table. He'll bring Carlton

369
00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:07.759
back later. Josie said, what's the story? Why does dad

370
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:12.000
have his shoes blaring? He's just going a little death,

371
00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:16.000
ODIs giggled, you mean death? Sure?

372
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:16.519
Why not?

373
00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:21.759
ODIs stacked the canned yams in the narrow pantry. I'll

374
00:28:21.799 --> 00:28:26.000
go turn it down in a moment. Why bother, Josie asked,

375
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:32.160
sounding suddenly closer than before. He turned, and her breasts

376
00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:35.920
pressed against his chest as she pushed him back into

377
00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:41.000
the pantry. Josie's tongue disappeared into his mouth and her

378
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:44.640
hands went to work on his belt. ODIs pushed her

379
00:28:44.720 --> 00:28:48.079
back to arm's length, but not before she got his

380
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:54.000
buckle open. What what are you doing, ODIs demanded? What

381
00:28:54.039 --> 00:28:59.039
we always do, Odie. Josie backed away, drawing Otis's belt

382
00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:02.680
from the loops. The TV's up so loud, we won't

383
00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:06.319
even have to be too quiet this time, Carlton could

384
00:29:06.319 --> 00:29:11.079
come in. ODIs said, so what. Josie let the belt

385
00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:15.319
fall to the floor and turned around, leaning over the counter.

386
00:29:16.599 --> 00:29:20.680
You told him, Josie, ODIs picked up the belt. We

387
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:25.119
said we would never tell anyone, of course, I told him.

388
00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:29.559
Josie tugged her skirt up higher. Remember the last time

389
00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:32.960
we did it in the kitchen. ODIs looped the belt

390
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:39.039
over his sister's neck. Oh, she parred. Someone's got a

391
00:29:39.079 --> 00:29:44.279
new kink. That's not the only thing new about me, Josie,

392
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:48.680
I have a girlfriend now, ODIs said, and she is

393
00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:53.880
not into threesomes. ODIs jerked the belt tight, whipping Josie

394
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:57.319
away from the counter. He slung her down and dragged

395
00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:01.200
her across the floor. She clawed at the figature, bending

396
00:30:01.240 --> 00:30:04.720
back her nails on the thick leather. ODIs stretched for

397
00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:08.400
the basement door. He swatted wildly for the knob while

398
00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:10.880
he curled the belt up to keep the pressure on

399
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:15.519
Josie's throat. Frustrated by his failure, he took a chance

400
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:19.720
to look behind him and pulled the door open, Josie

401
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:22.240
exploded from the floor like she was coming off the

402
00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:25.160
O line. She barreled into him, and they toppled down

403
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:29.039
the stairs together. ODIs grabbed for the belt and pulled

404
00:30:29.039 --> 00:30:32.680
her closer to him. He wrapped his thick legs around

405
00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:37.599
her waist, cranking back on the accessory. I know you told,

406
00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:42.759
ODIs said, you were always so jealous. When she finally

407
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:47.559
stopped moving, ODIs threw her over his shoulder and lugged

408
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:52.480
her back upstairs. He went to the den, dropping her

409
00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:56.039
on to the love seat. Her peasant top had slipped

410
00:30:56.119 --> 00:30:59.359
during the scuffle and one of her breasts hung out.

411
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:03.680
ODIs gave it a squeeze for old time's sake, before

412
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.920
adjusting the belt on her neck so that the buckle

413
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:11.559
rested under her chin. It wasn't the gift he'd picked out,

414
00:31:12.200 --> 00:31:15.480
but he had to admit it looked flattering on her.

415
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:21.079
Some people were hard to shop for, but not his niece.

416
00:31:21.799 --> 00:31:25.079
The embroidered pillow had been just the thing to finally

417
00:31:25.160 --> 00:31:28.680
shut the brat up. ODIs took it off Clara Belle's

418
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:32.319
face and put it back in the gift bag. He

419
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:35.680
took both to the den, setting the present under the

420
00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:39.799
tree with the others, and discarding his niece on to

421
00:31:39.920 --> 00:31:44.200
her grandpa's lap. He draped her little arm over the

422
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:48.960
stump of his father's neck. That'll be a nice photo

423
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:54.519
for mom's album, ODIs giggled. A shadow spilled into the room,

424
00:31:54.880 --> 00:32:01.599
and ODIs whirled around, expecting Carleton. Instead, he found Sie Jay.

425
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:06.960
ODIs reached into his pocket for the spool of fishing line.

426
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:12.559
Little boys loved to fish, so he'd picked that out

427
00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:16.799
just for the toddler. It was the stuff they used

428
00:32:16.839 --> 00:32:19.680
for marlin, so he was sure it would hold up

429
00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:23.160
to the task. He rubbed his thumb on the fiber,

430
00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:28.079
wondering if it would cut into the child's neck. Part

431
00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:30.960
of him hoped it would so he could watch his

432
00:32:31.119 --> 00:32:38.480
head pop off. Santa. See Jay whispered, not yet, ODIs said,

433
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:42.720
still a few days early, buddy, But Santa's not the

434
00:32:42.759 --> 00:32:46.240
only one that gives presents. I have something for you.

435
00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:51.880
Would you like that? The little boy nodded, and ODIs knelt,

436
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:56.720
waving him to come closer. He gave his nephew a hug.

437
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:03.440
See Jay giggled much like his uncle. An unfamiliar feeling

438
00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:07.680
came over ODIs, and he relinquished his grip on the wire.

439
00:33:09.079 --> 00:33:13.720
He whispered to SIEJ and pulled something from his other pocket.

440
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:18.279
ODIs slid the thin curved knife from its sheath and

441
00:33:18.359 --> 00:33:21.680
wiggled the blade in front of the child, letting the

442
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:26.200
whole light reflect off the polished steel. He put the

443
00:33:26.279 --> 00:33:37.880
point against the child's navel. Remember, buddy, never go too deep,

444
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:42.279
he said. You want to spill the guts out, not

445
00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:46.400
cut them to pieces. Even pressure, and then you move

446
00:33:46.519 --> 00:33:50.720
smooth to the other side. ODIs dragged the blade across

447
00:33:50.759 --> 00:33:55.279
the power ranger's pajamas while giggling. He put the knife

448
00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:59.480
in its sheath before handing it to the boy. Go

449
00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:01.680
put that un to your pillow and get some sleep.

450
00:34:02.279 --> 00:34:05.240
Remember to stay out of this room until Christmas? Can

451
00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:10.760
you do that? C J nodded? Promise, he asked. The

452
00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:14.880
boy nodded with double the enthusiasm and ran back to

453
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:19.039
the guest room. ODIs went to the Christmas tree. The

454
00:34:19.079 --> 00:34:23.440
colored lights flashed over him while he rearranged the presence.

455
00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:27.000
He took one of the peel and stick bows off

456
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:32.360
a box and attached it to the bloody axe. That's

457
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:36.880
much better, he chuckled. Time to give mommy her present.

458
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:41.599
ODIs had planned his gift giving for Christmas Eve, but

459
00:34:41.880 --> 00:34:44.960
with the FEDS watching him and Carlton do back at

460
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.840
any moment, there just wasn't time to waste. He turned

461
00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:53.159
off the heater and cracked open a window. It was

462
00:34:53.239 --> 00:34:56.239
cold enough that the bodies might not start to smell

463
00:34:56.360 --> 00:35:00.159
straight away. Josie told the FBI what he want was

464
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:03.440
going to do, but they weren't expecting him to do

465
00:35:03.559 --> 00:35:07.800
it until the next day. The Kilgores would have their

466
00:35:07.880 --> 00:35:12.360
final family Christmas. As soon as Otis dealt with Carlton,

467
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:18.599
then Otis and Diane could be together. There was still

468
00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:22.559
the issue of how to arrange that, since she hadn't

469
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:26.320
been at the store. He weighed his options as he

470
00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:30.239
gathered the role of plastic sheeting from his Kmart bag.

471
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.440
He laid it out carefully along the hall, taping it

472
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:38.960
into place and making sure the carpet was completely protected.

473
00:35:40.039 --> 00:35:44.159
For their twentieth anniversary, Mildred Kilgore had asked to have

474
00:35:44.280 --> 00:35:49.000
the house recarpeted in a cream colored high pile she'd

475
00:35:49.039 --> 00:35:52.119
fallen in love with at a friend's house. The only

476
00:35:52.199 --> 00:35:56.119
problem was the way it clashed with the old paint job.

477
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:01.840
No more drab beige hallway for mommy. ODIs went to

478
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:05.000
the glass fronted cabinet in the corner of the den.

479
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:10.239
Mildred Milly, to her friends, had been asking her husband

480
00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:14.960
to repaint for eleven years, so it seemed fitting ODIs

481
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:17.800
would borrow one of his father's tools to give her

482
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:21.960
the present she'd been asking for. He went to the

483
00:36:22.039 --> 00:36:25.519
hall and called for his mother. She peeked out of

484
00:36:25.559 --> 00:36:30.880
the bedroom. I'm still wrapping presents, Milly scolded, and tell

485
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:34.360
your father to turn down that television set. The neighbors

486
00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:39.559
are going to complain. ODIs giggled. His mother always worried

487
00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:43.440
about that ever since he could remember, even though the

488
00:36:43.519 --> 00:36:46.880
house sat on the outskirts of the county and the

489
00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:50.960
nearest neighbor was a half mile away. In a minute,

490
00:36:50.960 --> 00:36:56.000
ma'am Otis told her, your present can't wait until Christmas.

491
00:36:56.679 --> 00:37:00.880
My present. Milly stepped out of the room and jumped

492
00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:04.400
at the sudden crinkling of plastic beneath her bare feet.

493
00:37:05.119 --> 00:37:08.400
She walked out on to it, staring at the blue

494
00:37:08.440 --> 00:37:12.320
tape holding it to the trim. She beamed with joy

495
00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:16.760
as she looked up at Otis, is your father finally

496
00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:22.159
going to paint for me, No, Mommy, I am. ODIs

497
00:37:22.159 --> 00:37:25.119
whipped the four to ten pump action to his shoulder

498
00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:28.920
from behind the door jam and put the first slug

499
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:35.639
between his mother's eyes. ODIs tossed the binder into the

500
00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:39.480
back seat. For months, he'd been compiling pieces of The

501
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:44.760
poor Man's James Bond, Uncle Fester's Guide to Household Chemistry,

502
00:37:45.199 --> 00:37:49.760
the Anarchist's cook Book, and similar research manuals into a

503
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:54.840
neatly categorized three ring binder. Every skill he thought might

504
00:37:54.920 --> 00:37:59.639
come in handy during his little sleigh ride had its

505
00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:04.280
own section marked with a colored tab. The section on

506
00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:08.519
lock picking had been short, but detailed enough that he

507
00:38:08.679 --> 00:38:12.599
was certain he could perform the task. He stepped out

508
00:38:12.639 --> 00:38:16.480
of the fierro and tugged his coat tight around him,

509
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:20.880
running as fast as he could while hunched over, He

510
00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:23.280
pulled off his gloves and went to work on the

511
00:38:23.320 --> 00:38:28.519
lock of Kmart's garden center. During the winter, there was

512
00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:32.280
nothing on the outdoor pad, so the lights were turned off.

513
00:38:33.039 --> 00:38:36.800
It seemed like the best place to gain entry. After

514
00:38:36.880 --> 00:38:40.920
ten minutes of trying, he finally gave up and simply

515
00:38:41.039 --> 00:38:43.519
kicked out the glass with the steel toe of his

516
00:38:43.559 --> 00:38:48.280
work boot. No alarms went off, so he reached in

517
00:38:48.920 --> 00:38:52.920
and turned the lock, hoping the other things he'd learned

518
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:57.920
from those tattered print outs worked much better. Otis took

519
00:38:57.960 --> 00:39:01.760
a flashlight from his pocket and navigated the dark store.

520
00:39:02.519 --> 00:39:05.559
Though he could have done it from memory, he loved

521
00:39:05.559 --> 00:39:09.440
that store almost as much as he loved Diane. He

522
00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:12.880
stepped into the stock room and panned the light around

523
00:39:12.880 --> 00:39:17.239
the shelving. Everything was crowded with carts and racks of

524
00:39:17.320 --> 00:39:21.159
overstocked merchandise that could be quickly rolled out to restock

525
00:39:21.280 --> 00:39:25.280
in a flash. He giggled as he explored the real

526
00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:31.039
life Santa's workshop. ODIs checked his TIMEX. The little Elves

527
00:39:31.079 --> 00:39:34.280
would be returning in a few hours, and he needed

528
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:38.119
to speed things up. He shook off the wonderment and

529
00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:42.039
went to the manager's office. The filing cabinets were all

530
00:39:42.119 --> 00:39:46.639
meticulously labeled. ODIs found the one he needed and pulled

531
00:39:46.679 --> 00:39:50.280
open the d through f drawer. He stared at the

532
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:55.480
names written on the file folders and groaned. He didn't

533
00:39:55.519 --> 00:40:01.320
know Diane's last name. It'll be changing soon, he giggled

534
00:40:01.800 --> 00:40:06.000
and began his search. He finally found her in the

535
00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:11.960
last drawer. Diane Woarchowski lived at the Grayfolk Court apartments

536
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:16.199
on the other side of Ittawa. Otis read her entire

537
00:40:16.320 --> 00:40:21.519
file for deeper insights into the future Missus Kilgore, but

538
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:25.920
the documents were fairly to the point. She hadn't even

539
00:40:25.960 --> 00:40:30.800
included a resume with her application. There would be lots

540
00:40:30.800 --> 00:40:34.000
of time to get to know each other later. He

541
00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:37.800
tucked the file into his jacket and closed the drawer.

542
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:41.480
He was sure the police would blame the broken glass

543
00:40:41.639 --> 00:40:46.079
on delinquent kids, and he doubted any one took inventory

544
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:50.440
of employee files. He paused to look over the schedule

545
00:40:50.920 --> 00:40:56.079
hung on the wall. Diane worked Saturday through Tuesday and

546
00:40:56.199 --> 00:41:00.480
had penciled in an extra shift on Christmas Day with

547
00:41:00.599 --> 00:41:04.800
a little frowny face next to it. His problem and

548
00:41:04.920 --> 00:41:16.480
hers was solved. He'd pick her up the next night

549
00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:20.639
so that she wouldn't have to work Christmas Day. That

550
00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:24.880
fake manager and the bimbo would surely alert their FBI

551
00:41:25.039 --> 00:41:29.599
handlers once he was spotted. Of course, ODIs made a

552
00:41:29.599 --> 00:41:33.599
few changes to the office before quickly exiting the store

553
00:41:34.159 --> 00:41:37.840
and sprinting back to the Fiarro. He was getting tired

554
00:41:38.239 --> 00:41:41.599
and there was still work to be done. He'd grab

555
00:41:41.639 --> 00:41:44.960
a nap, then clean up. While he waited for Diane's

556
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:50.920
shift to end, ODIs knelt beside the trunk, exhaust roiled

557
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:55.480
from the seams in wispy tendrils. He dragged the garden

558
00:41:55.519 --> 00:41:58.480
hose out of the muffler and tossed it into the

559
00:41:58.559 --> 00:42:06.119
ditch on the trunk, but got no reply. Poor Carlton,

560
00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:14.719
ODIs giggled, Hugh must be so exhausted. ODIs wretched over

561
00:42:14.760 --> 00:42:18.920
the toilet, hitting everything except the bowl with a wave

562
00:42:19.079 --> 00:42:23.480
of projectile vomit. Shelby had told him the acid stunk,

563
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.719
but he hadn't considered just how bad it would be

564
00:42:27.519 --> 00:42:31.559
in the confines of the bathroom, especially once the hares

565
00:42:31.599 --> 00:42:37.920
and fatty deposits began dissolving. He regretted not just dumping

566
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:41.760
Carlton in the sewer. He stumbled out of the room,

567
00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:46.440
teary eyed and scrubbing puke from his chin. It was

568
00:42:46.519 --> 00:42:51.079
the final kilgore Christmas, and Otis wasn't about to let

569
00:42:51.159 --> 00:42:55.519
Carlton ruin it. He had never liked his brother in law.

570
00:42:56.119 --> 00:43:00.639
Even before Josie had told him about their relationship. Carlton

571
00:43:00.679 --> 00:43:05.000
had treated Otis like some kind of freak. He constantly

572
00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:09.000
made comments about ODIs still living at home and called

573
00:43:09.039 --> 00:43:13.679
his job morbid. It wasn't like Otis grew up wanting

574
00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:17.480
to butcher poultry, and he hadn't always lived at home either.

575
00:43:18.159 --> 00:43:21.119
For a while he'd been in the Air Force. He

576
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:24.480
might have stayed too, if it weren't for the FBI.

577
00:43:25.559 --> 00:43:29.760
They had ruined his career because of what he had heard.

578
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:33.800
Otis went to the kitchen and splashed water onto his face.

579
00:43:34.559 --> 00:43:38.840
The garbled transmission replayed in his head with absolute clarity,

580
00:43:39.480 --> 00:43:42.519
like he was hearing it for the first time. He'd

581
00:43:42.559 --> 00:43:46.679
been monitoring radio frequencies for Soviet chatter when he'd picked

582
00:43:46.760 --> 00:43:50.440
up the first message. Otis always had a gift for

583
00:43:50.519 --> 00:43:57.880
solving puzzles and cracking codes, even extraterrestrial ones. He'd spent

584
00:43:58.039 --> 00:44:01.599
almost a year looking for the source, and even attempted

585
00:44:01.639 --> 00:44:07.079
several replies, but to no avail. When he presented the

586
00:44:07.119 --> 00:44:11.159
evidence to his superiors, they didn't just laugh at him.

587
00:44:11.719 --> 00:44:15.320
They put him on trial. They claimed that by changing

588
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:20.079
the alignment of their satellites, ODIs had jeopardized national security.

589
00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:25.159
He was booted out within a month. The FBI had

590
00:44:25.239 --> 00:44:28.519
kept a tail on him ever since. They did their

591
00:44:28.519 --> 00:44:32.400
best to blend in and look like ordinary people. But

592
00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:36.559
Otis knew a spook when he saw one. He'd moved

593
00:44:36.599 --> 00:44:40.079
back in with his parents to protect them. Only they

594
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:44.679
couldn't understand that, just like Carlton. They thought he was

595
00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:49.039
a loser with no ambitions. They couldn't see what he

596
00:44:49.079 --> 00:44:53.280
had done and continued to do. He definitely wouldn't miss

597
00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:57.440
that bunch of ingrates. Otis went back to the bathroom

598
00:44:58.039 --> 00:45:01.639
and watched a dismembered hunk of Carlton sink below the

599
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:06.840
bubbling surface. The once brackish acid was tinged with pink,

600
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:11.400
with swirls of deep crimson as it dissolved his brother

601
00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:17.000
in law. All too slowly. The toilet burbled, drawing an

602
00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:20.960
irritated sigh from Otis. It was the only one in

603
00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:24.920
the house, and he'd clogged it up, flushing Carlton's organs.

604
00:45:25.719 --> 00:45:28.239
He was thankful he'd gotten his morning shit out of

605
00:45:28.280 --> 00:45:32.559
the way first. Otis shut the door and started to

606
00:45:32.599 --> 00:45:37.360
the den to finish his preparations. Carlton didn't deserve to

607
00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:44.119
open presents with the real family. You why it's stink, see,

608
00:45:44.239 --> 00:45:49.119
Jay asked drearily. The jump nearly sent Otis into the ceiling.

609
00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:54.280
Damn it, buddy, don't sneak around like that, he said.

610
00:45:55.159 --> 00:45:58.719
You haven't been up snooping for presents, have you. Sej

611
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:03.880
shook his head. It smells bad. Your daddy clogged the shower.

612
00:46:04.599 --> 00:46:09.159
Otis giggled. Let's get some frosted flakes. Then you need

613
00:46:09.159 --> 00:46:11.360
to play in your room. We're going to have a

614
00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:15.039
very special Christmas tonight, but you can't ruin the surprise.

615
00:46:15.880 --> 00:46:23.000
Promise you'll stay in the room. The boy nodded. Otis

616
00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:26.400
laid out little Carleton Junior on the couch next to

617
00:46:26.480 --> 00:46:30.400
Grandma in the den. He hadn't been sure how much

618
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:33.800
valume it would take to knock the toddler out, but

619
00:46:34.239 --> 00:46:37.800
three seemed to do the trick. The boy hadn't even

620
00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:42.760
noticed the extra frosting on the flakes. Otis rolled the

621
00:46:42.800 --> 00:46:46.039
four ten inside a throw rug and stuffed one of

622
00:46:46.039 --> 00:46:50.639
his father's pistols in his waistband. He tossed the rug

623
00:46:50.760 --> 00:46:53.840
into the trunk of his car, along with the other

624
00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:58.760
presents he'd made. According to the schedule he'd seen in

625
00:46:58.800 --> 00:47:03.199
the office, Diane would be getting ready for work. He

626
00:47:03.239 --> 00:47:06.559
would have plenty of time to deliver the rest of

627
00:47:06.639 --> 00:47:15.159
his gifts. Chuck Pittman, the poultry Prince, had been given

628
00:47:15.199 --> 00:47:19.119
a cushy job at his father's factory and lorded over

629
00:47:19.199 --> 00:47:23.239
the workers for six long years. He had taken a

630
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:28.960
particular interest in making things difficult for Otis. Josie and

631
00:47:29.039 --> 00:47:33.760
Diane hadn't been his only girlfriends. He'd been seeing a

632
00:47:33.800 --> 00:47:38.239
receptionist at the plant named Melissa for a year before

633
00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:43.039
Chuck showed up. He'd been jealous of Otis. The money

634
00:47:43.079 --> 00:47:47.559
and the fancy degree didn't interest Melissa, and that really

635
00:47:47.679 --> 00:47:52.079
ruffled the Prince's feathers. He expanded the shifts in the

636
00:47:52.079 --> 00:47:56.960
evisceration department to keep Otis out of the way. When

637
00:47:57.039 --> 00:48:01.719
that didn't work, Chuck resorted to strong arm tactics. Human

638
00:48:01.800 --> 00:48:05.760
Resources ambushed Otis in the break room, demanding that he

639
00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:12.920
cease all contact with Melissa. Otis hadn't listened. He steered

640
00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:16.280
clear at work to make Chuck think he'd won, of course,

641
00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:22.079
but continued to visit her at home for weeks. Afterwards,

642
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:27.320
Chuck realized he couldn't win Melissa away, so he settled

643
00:48:27.320 --> 00:48:31.840
on making sure Otis lost her too. One day, she

644
00:48:31.960 --> 00:48:35.519
didn't show up for work, and by the time Otis

645
00:48:35.559 --> 00:48:42.280
got off she'd been relocated somewhere far away. Otis found

646
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:47.679
her duplex hastily packed and abandoned. He'd spent months looking

647
00:48:47.719 --> 00:48:51.679
for her. Chuck paid well to cover up her disappearance.

648
00:48:52.760 --> 00:48:55.440
He even had people say they had talked to her

649
00:48:55.480 --> 00:48:59.480
on the phone were gotten letters from her. But Otis

650
00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:04.440
knew that truth, and it was finally time for some payback.

651
00:49:07.639 --> 00:49:11.360
ODIs arrived at Diane's apartments in time to see her

652
00:49:11.480 --> 00:49:15.840
coming down the staircase. She turned back and blew a

653
00:49:15.920 --> 00:49:20.039
kiss to her living room window, where an obese Siamese

654
00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:27.320
basked on the windowsill. ODIs snorted irritably. He'd never liked cats,

655
00:49:27.400 --> 00:49:30.440
and to top it off, he was allergic to the

656
00:49:30.519 --> 00:49:34.760
damn things. At least she was feeling well and whatever

657
00:49:34.800 --> 00:49:38.639
they'd done to her hadn't been serious. He would have

658
00:49:38.760 --> 00:49:42.440
six hours to complete his business with Chuck and get

659
00:49:42.519 --> 00:49:46.519
back to Kmart. He considered going up to the apartment

660
00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:51.679
after the previous night's folly, he wasn't feeling confident about

661
00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:56.079
picking the lock. He heard a car start and watched

662
00:49:56.119 --> 00:50:01.159
for Diane to pull out. The Volkswagen sputtered, then belched

663
00:50:01.199 --> 00:50:04.559
smoke as she turned out of the parking lot. As

664
00:50:04.599 --> 00:50:10.400
the snow started falling in fat, wet flakes, ODIs put

665
00:50:10.400 --> 00:50:14.679
the car in gear and pulled out. The Pittman Estate

666
00:50:14.880 --> 00:50:18.440
was located a few miles outside of Ittawa, off a

667
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:23.559
stretch of private blacktop. That worked out great since ODIs

668
00:50:23.639 --> 00:50:26.559
was starving and the drive out there would take him

669
00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:30.480
past a few fast food joints. He fiddled with the

670
00:50:30.599 --> 00:50:34.840
radio until he found some Christmas tunes. He turned up

671
00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:39.000
Brenda Lee's Rocking around the Christmas Tree while he debated

672
00:50:39.000 --> 00:50:45.599
the dining options. ODIs sang along cheerily. With the snowfall

673
00:50:45.719 --> 00:50:50.400
growing in intensity and his naughty list almost finished. He

674
00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:55.320
couldn't possibly have been more in the holiday spirit. Something

675
00:50:55.599 --> 00:51:00.719
was bothering him, though he squirmed in his canvas company jacket.

676
00:51:01.679 --> 00:51:07.239
It sure was warm, but it wasn't very festive. And

677
00:51:07.360 --> 00:51:12.159
then he saw Hube Muller. A break in the cloud

678
00:51:12.199 --> 00:51:17.800
cover illuminated the drunk like the Christmas Angel. Hub chugged

679
00:51:17.800 --> 00:51:21.719
from a bottle wrapped in a damp paper bag, only

680
00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:26.480
stopping when his boots slipped in the slush. Hub bent

681
00:51:26.639 --> 00:51:31.519
to offer slurred profanities to the offending sidewalk for its

682
00:51:31.599 --> 00:51:36.280
lack of traction, Otis slowed down and pulled up to

683
00:51:36.360 --> 00:51:40.760
the curb beside him. He stretched across the passenger seat

684
00:51:41.320 --> 00:51:46.519
to roll down the window. Hub He shouted, Hughby, what

685
00:51:46.599 --> 00:51:52.320
are you doing caroling? Hub belched, I'll sing you something

686
00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:57.599
for a buck? How about lunch instead? Just because I'm

687
00:51:57.679 --> 00:52:00.880
shitfaced on a street corner, don't mean i'll suck your cock.

688
00:52:01.679 --> 00:52:06.559
Hub took another swig. Could use another bottle, though, Tell

689
00:52:06.559 --> 00:52:10.000
you what, twenty dollars and I'll hum silent night while

690
00:52:10.039 --> 00:52:14.320
I do it. Call it a Christmas special. It's freezing.

691
00:52:14.440 --> 00:52:19.199
Huby Otis looked around impatiently. I'm going to heart Ease

692
00:52:19.199 --> 00:52:21.280
and thought you might like to get something to eat.

693
00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:26.840
I'll drop you home afterwards. Look, bub blowjobs are one thing,

694
00:52:26.920 --> 00:52:30.440
but that shit sounds like a date. Hub took another

695
00:52:30.559 --> 00:52:36.039
drink and eyed Otis suspiciously. You some kind of queer

696
00:52:36.119 --> 00:52:40.320
or something, of course not, I'm practically a married man.

697
00:52:41.199 --> 00:52:45.360
Otis moved his hand between the seats. I thought I

698
00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:47.239
could give you a lift on my way back to

699
00:52:47.320 --> 00:52:53.079
her place. In fact, so you say, Hub raised an eyebrow.

700
00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:59.880
There's something mighty peculiar about you, bub Otis giggled. Yeah,

701
00:53:00.119 --> 00:53:05.000
that's it, Huby said, leaning into the window. I knew

702
00:53:05.039 --> 00:53:09.039
I recognized you. You're that fella that's always laughing when

703
00:53:09.079 --> 00:53:14.400
there ain't nothing funny, but something is funny, Huby. ODIs said,

704
00:53:15.440 --> 00:53:20.519
what's that You're wearing the wrong costume. Otis told him,

705
00:53:21.400 --> 00:53:27.960
you're not Santa, you are Rudolph, Rudolph bub You really

706
00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:31.199
are touched in the head. I ain't no damn dear,

707
00:53:32.400 --> 00:53:35.880
but she got a bright red nose. Otis drew the

708
00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:42.360
revolver and fired, detonating Hube's snoot. The drunk slumped into

709
00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:46.519
the car. ODIs quickly pulled him in as best he could,

710
00:53:47.239 --> 00:53:51.159
leaving the man's fur trimmed boots dangling out the window.

711
00:53:51.760 --> 00:53:56.239
As he peeled away from the curb. The Pontiac's tires

712
00:53:56.280 --> 00:54:01.119
slid and the car went sideways and back before ODIs

713
00:54:01.159 --> 00:54:10.840
finally corrected the course. ODIs tossed the crumpled burger wrapper

714
00:54:10.880 --> 00:54:14.679
out the window. On the private road he'd left. Hughbe

715
00:54:14.679 --> 00:54:18.920
behind the dumpster at Hartyse. He smiled as he stepped

716
00:54:18.920 --> 00:54:23.039
out into the barrage of snowflakes and ran his hands

717
00:54:23.079 --> 00:54:27.719
along the red vlure. It was exactly the thing he'd

718
00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:31.079
been missing. It was going to be the most perfect

719
00:54:31.239 --> 00:54:35.960
Christmas ever. ODIs went to the trunk to retrieve the shotgun.

720
00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:40.360
Chuck Pittman's house must have looked like a five alarm

721
00:54:40.480 --> 00:54:44.360
fire at night, with the tens of thousands of twinkling

722
00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:48.599
bulbs lining its eaves and windows and twisting up its

723
00:54:48.960 --> 00:54:54.440
romanesque columns. Carols played through speakers mounted on the porch.

724
00:54:55.239 --> 00:54:58.679
ODIs slung a Duffel bag over his shoulder and made

725
00:54:58.719 --> 00:55:02.519
his way to the front door. He couldn't stop giggling

726
00:55:02.639 --> 00:55:06.679
while he awaited anyone to answer. After ringing the doorbell,

727
00:55:08.159 --> 00:55:12.519
the door finally opened, and Chuck's wife answered in her

728
00:55:12.559 --> 00:55:18.000
peppermint striped stockings and green sweater dress with jingling bells

729
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:23.159
stitched on. Oh, I didn't know Chucky hired a Santa.

730
00:55:23.719 --> 00:55:28.079
She scrunched her nose and shook her head. But you're

731
00:55:28.119 --> 00:55:32.599
a bit early, aren't you. I don't think so Otis

732
00:55:32.679 --> 00:55:36.639
shook his satchel. Got a whole bag full of gifts

733
00:55:36.760 --> 00:55:40.800
right here. The guests don't arrive for another two hours.

734
00:55:41.719 --> 00:55:46.079
Missus Pittman pinched Odis's cheeks, and you don't even have

735
00:55:46.199 --> 00:55:52.320
your beard on. Hey, Sweetie, who's that, Chuck asked, coming

736
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:57.679
into the foyer. Billy Lyle, right, that rascal's always early.

737
00:55:58.159 --> 00:56:03.000
Just ask his old lady. No, Chucky, it's Santa, she

738
00:56:03.199 --> 00:56:09.360
corrected him. Santa, who the hell invited him? Chuck asked heartily.

739
00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:14.199
He doesn't have a beard either, She whined. He can

740
00:56:14.239 --> 00:56:20.159
borrow your mother's. Chuck squinted at him. Hey, you're not Santa,

741
00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:24.760
You're the purvo freak from a visceration. What the fuck

742
00:56:24.800 --> 00:56:28.480
are you doing at my house? Just came to deliver

743
00:56:28.599 --> 00:56:33.719
my presence. ODIs unzipped the bag and slipped his gloved

744
00:56:33.800 --> 00:56:38.199
hand inside. On what I pay you? They can't be

745
00:56:38.320 --> 00:56:42.360
that good, his boss huffed. How about you keep them

746
00:56:42.400 --> 00:56:47.840
and just get off my porch. These gifts are to

747
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:51.960
die for. ODIs raised the shotgun from behind his back

748
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:56.440
and fired it into Chuck's guts. He pulled the machete

749
00:56:56.480 --> 00:57:02.400
from the bag and started to sing, i'me dreaming of

750
00:57:02.639 --> 00:57:13.679
a red Christmas sh Otis beat a fist against the

751
00:57:13.719 --> 00:57:18.880
steering wheel. He sobbed as much from disappointment as from pain.

752
00:57:19.800 --> 00:57:24.199
In his defense, he didn't know much about guns. In

753
00:57:24.239 --> 00:57:28.360
the service, he'd been required to shoot targets during basic training,

754
00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:31.559
and that was about it. How was he to know

755
00:57:31.719 --> 00:57:35.480
the twenty two caliber revolver wouldn't be enough to stop

756
00:57:35.599 --> 00:57:39.039
Chuck's father in law. The Internet had lied to him

757
00:57:39.079 --> 00:57:44.239
as well. The match head bombed he'd painstakingly constructed, hadn't

758
00:57:44.239 --> 00:57:48.159
done anything other than scorch an expensive rug and leave

759
00:57:48.239 --> 00:57:53.199
his ears ringing. He'd shot five people in the Pittman mansion,

760
00:57:53.840 --> 00:57:57.760
but only killed one for certain. The machete had gotten

761
00:57:57.840 --> 00:58:03.079
Missus Pittman and perhaps another. Chuck was dead, so at

762
00:58:03.159 --> 00:58:07.400
least he had that going for him. Unfortunately, the others

763
00:58:07.440 --> 00:58:12.239
were still alive and had all seen his face. The

764
00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:16.280
fierro slid in the slush. The snowfall was turning into

765
00:58:16.280 --> 00:58:20.320
an outright blizzard. The cops would be looking for him.

766
00:58:21.039 --> 00:58:23.440
He'd been shot in the shoulder and one of the

767
00:58:23.440 --> 00:58:26.920
Pittman brats had stuck a fondue fork in his thigh.

768
00:58:27.639 --> 00:58:30.800
C J must have woken up too, because the radio

769
00:58:30.960 --> 00:58:34.599
was carrying on about the scene at his house. He

770
00:58:34.719 --> 00:58:39.400
scanned through the stations trying to find music. Everything was

771
00:58:39.480 --> 00:58:44.119
going to shit in short order. Roadblocks were probably already

772
00:58:44.119 --> 00:58:48.559
in place, but they were looking for ODIs Kilgore, not

773
00:58:49.400 --> 00:58:54.559
mister and missus claws. He checked the time he could

774
00:58:54.599 --> 00:58:57.840
grab a beard at kmart. When he picked up Diane

775
00:58:57.880 --> 00:59:02.039
to disguise himself, they would just be another couple heading

776
00:59:02.079 --> 00:59:05.880
to a Christmas Eve party. He hadn't even had time

777
00:59:05.920 --> 00:59:08.840
to register the Fierro in his name. With the holiday

778
00:59:08.920 --> 00:59:12.119
hubbub and his work schedule, they were going to be

779
00:59:12.400 --> 00:59:17.599
just fine and far away from Ittawa. Just as soon

780
00:59:17.679 --> 00:59:20.679
as the idiot in front of him learned to drive.

781
00:59:22.000 --> 00:59:25.559
The Ford probe started to fishtail for the third time

782
00:59:25.679 --> 00:59:29.679
since Otis had turned in behind it. Each time it happened,

783
00:59:30.119 --> 00:59:34.559
the driver slowed down more. They were barely crawling along.

784
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:39.199
Otis watched the brake lights flare again through the accumulating

785
00:59:39.320 --> 00:59:43.920
snow on his windshield. The Fierro's wipers were swishing as

786
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:48.360
fast as they could, but weren't keeping up. He laid

787
00:59:48.360 --> 00:59:52.199
on the horn. The probe accelerated, only to lose traction

788
00:59:52.760 --> 00:59:57.280
yet again. The driver spiked the brakes and Otis narrowly

789
00:59:57.320 --> 01:00:02.199
avoided rear ending them. Pulled alongside the probe, giving the

790
01:00:02.320 --> 01:00:05.480
driver the finger, and the man sped up to prevent

791
01:00:05.559 --> 01:00:10.800
him from passing. In retaliation, ODIs beated the horn, waving

792
01:00:10.840 --> 01:00:15.199
for him to fall back. It didn't work. The driver's

793
01:00:15.199 --> 01:00:18.239
manhood was at stake, and no blizzard was going to

794
01:00:18.280 --> 01:00:23.000
stop him from defending it. The two cars raced along

795
01:00:23.079 --> 01:00:27.360
the main drag through town, their tires spun and slung

796
01:00:27.719 --> 01:00:32.239
black gray snow as both drivers wrestled to keep themselves straight.

797
01:00:33.159 --> 01:00:35.719
ODIs let go of the steering wheel with one hand

798
01:00:36.199 --> 01:00:40.519
to wrestle the shotgun from behind the seat. The Probe

799
01:00:40.639 --> 01:00:45.599
careened left. ODIs screeched as his passenger window shattered and

800
01:00:45.719 --> 01:00:49.119
the door buckled inward. He dropped the gun on to

801
01:00:49.239 --> 01:00:52.920
the floor and gripped the wheel with both hands, scraping

802
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:56.079
down the side of a parked van and taking out

803
01:00:56.079 --> 01:00:59.239
a phone booth before he got back on the road.

804
01:01:00.400 --> 01:01:04.679
The Probe's driver, convinced of his victory and male dominance,

805
01:01:05.119 --> 01:01:10.480
coasted back to his previous slow crawl. ODIs retrieved the

806
01:01:10.519 --> 01:01:14.440
shotgun from the floorboard and bashed out the spider webbed

807
01:01:14.480 --> 01:01:19.159
window before giving chase. Even at thirty five, he was

808
01:01:19.199 --> 01:01:23.079
able to overtake the other vehicle he held before ten

809
01:01:23.239 --> 01:01:28.159
one handed, and took his foot off the accelerator through

810
01:01:28.199 --> 01:01:32.119
the frosted glass ODIs could see the man screaming right

811
01:01:32.199 --> 01:01:37.239
before his face exploded. The probe veered to the right,

812
01:01:37.719 --> 01:01:43.000
crashing through a store front and bursting into flames. ODIs

813
01:01:43.079 --> 01:01:47.639
dropped the shotgun and hit seek on the radio. He

814
01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:52.440
started giggling as he made the turn for Kmart and

815
01:01:52.599 --> 01:01:57.440
sang along with Dolly knowing You're in love with me

816
01:01:58.840 --> 01:02:07.760
is the greatest of all. Otis held the breakdown and

817
01:02:07.880 --> 01:02:11.599
stared at the glass front of the store. They were

818
01:02:11.599 --> 01:02:15.559
closing early for Christmas Eve, but there were still a

819
01:02:15.599 --> 01:02:20.440
few shoppers that hadn't taken the hint. He could see

820
01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:25.760
that manager inside waving for them to get the hell out,

821
01:02:26.880 --> 01:02:31.800
and he could see Diane. She had a line of customers,

822
01:02:32.360 --> 01:02:36.840
but the one she was helping didn't seem to notice.

823
01:02:36.840 --> 01:02:41.239
ODIs watched the prissy fat man waving his hands around

824
01:02:41.320 --> 01:02:47.000
and obviously shouting at Diane. If the customers didn't understand

825
01:02:47.320 --> 01:02:51.119
we're closed, then Otis would have to give them something

826
01:02:51.519 --> 01:02:56.400
they could understand. He stomped the gas pedal to the floorboard.

827
01:02:56.920 --> 01:03:00.440
The Pontiac slid and swerved, but stayed straight ate enough

828
01:03:00.440 --> 01:03:04.000
to get the job done. The automatic doors didn't part

829
01:03:04.119 --> 01:03:08.159
fast enough and Otis's bumpers sheared them from their tracks.

830
01:03:09.039 --> 01:03:13.400
Customers bounced off the hood, sending presents flying into the air.

831
01:03:14.320 --> 01:03:19.079
One of them crashed face first through the windshield. Santa

832
01:03:19.199 --> 01:03:24.199
doesn't pick up hitchhikers. Otis pulled the handbrake. The tires

833
01:03:24.239 --> 01:03:27.800
squelched on the tile until he finally wrecked into a

834
01:03:27.880 --> 01:03:32.719
checkout lane. He stepped out of the car. Blood poured

835
01:03:32.800 --> 01:03:36.280
down his sleeve from the bullet in his shoulder. He

836
01:03:36.400 --> 01:03:42.159
rubbed his fingers together, giggling at the sticky, wet, peeling sensation.

837
01:03:43.639 --> 01:03:47.159
He laid the shotgun on his other shoulder and clamored

838
01:03:47.199 --> 01:03:51.039
over the hood to pick up the phone. He jabbed

839
01:03:51.039 --> 01:03:53.880
a bloody finger into the innercom button.

840
01:03:54.639 --> 01:03:59.760
Attention Kmart shoppers, the store has been closed for ten minutes,

841
01:04:00.440 --> 01:04:04.480
he giggled. I've been waiting months to slide down a

842
01:04:04.519 --> 01:04:09.719
special someone's chimney, and you ungrateful buffoons are keeping that

843
01:04:10.119 --> 01:04:15.960
from happening. You're all being very, very naughty, and since

844
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:19.559
I'm fresh out of coal, I guess I'll just have

845
01:04:19.719 --> 01:04:25.079
to give you all lead. ODIs fired a slug into

846
01:04:25.079 --> 01:04:28.800
the bitchy customer's chest, pumped the slide and hit him

847
01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:32.880
between the chins. Before he could fall, ODIs racked the

848
01:04:32.960 --> 01:04:37.480
slide and the gun clicked. That sounded louder than the gunshots.

849
01:04:38.440 --> 01:04:42.679
Everyone else heard it too, and scattered like cockroaches fleeing

850
01:04:42.719 --> 01:04:47.199
a kitchen light. We're not finished yet, you el fuckers.

851
01:04:47.920 --> 01:04:51.920
ODIs scrambled over the car, popping open the trunk to

852
01:04:52.079 --> 01:04:57.400
access his other supplies. There are still presents to deliver.

853
01:04:58.239 --> 01:05:02.840
ODIs hoisted the homemade crossbow and fired indiscriminately into a

854
01:05:02.840 --> 01:05:08.920
group of shoppers. He'd found schematics online, and surprisingly, the

855
01:05:09.000 --> 01:05:12.440
damn thing worked. He was laughing at the old timer

856
01:05:12.519 --> 01:05:15.840
limping along with the arrow in his back when he

857
01:05:15.920 --> 01:05:21.559
spied the manager tugging Diane along behind him. ODIs dropped

858
01:05:21.559 --> 01:05:26.480
the crossbow, swapping it out for a spiked bat. He'd

859
01:05:26.519 --> 01:05:30.360
been saving that one for the loan officer in Oklahoma City,

860
01:05:30.800 --> 01:05:34.280
who he planned on visiting on their way to Mexico.

861
01:05:34.559 --> 01:05:37.320
He would have to send that asshole a late Christmas

862
01:05:37.320 --> 01:05:41.880
card instead. He had some ideas on that. Thanks to

863
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:47.159
Teddy Kaczinski, Otis turned his ear up to the overhead speaker.

864
01:05:47.880 --> 01:05:51.400
His hip started to sway. If there was a better

865
01:05:51.519 --> 01:05:54.360
song to chase down the dirty, rotten son of a

866
01:05:54.400 --> 01:05:58.559
bitch who was kidnapping your girlfriend than Christmas in Hollis,

867
01:05:59.119 --> 01:06:03.559
ODIs didn't know what it could be. He swatted down

868
01:06:03.639 --> 01:06:07.679
the bystanders and danced with the bat as he pursued

869
01:06:07.760 --> 01:06:13.159
the so called store manager. The nine inch nails weren't fatal,

870
01:06:13.760 --> 01:06:18.159
but certainly made sure everyone got his point. Maybe next

871
01:06:18.239 --> 01:06:23.559
year they'd be more considerate of retail workers. As he

872
01:06:23.639 --> 01:06:27.559
got further into the store, the screams faded to background noise,

873
01:06:27.920 --> 01:06:31.400
and he could hear the squeaking of Diane's rebox as

874
01:06:31.440 --> 01:06:35.679
she was dragged away from him against her will. ODIs

875
01:06:35.719 --> 01:06:38.880
cut through sporting Goods, smashing out the glass on a

876
01:06:38.920 --> 01:06:43.920
display case. Since he'd gifted CJ his knife, he decided

877
01:06:43.920 --> 01:06:47.239
to get himself a new one. He held up the

878
01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:51.960
gerber tack too, so he could inspect the serrations before

879
01:06:52.039 --> 01:06:55.880
tucking it into his belt. Just what I need to

880
01:06:55.960 --> 01:07:01.039
string the garland, he giggled. ODIs kicked open the stock

881
01:07:01.119 --> 01:07:06.519
room's double doors to stone delinquents in effectually shoved carts

882
01:07:06.519 --> 01:07:12.280
in his direction before running away. Otis dug Hube's bottle

883
01:07:12.360 --> 01:07:16.000
from a fur lined pocket. He took a slug from it.

884
01:07:16.719 --> 01:07:19.840
The cinnamon schnapps was as good a painkiller as any.

885
01:07:20.679 --> 01:07:24.760
I came here to kick ass and jingle bells, he shouted,

886
01:07:25.480 --> 01:07:36.519
and I'm all out of bells. Nobody else was lingering.

887
01:07:36.840 --> 01:07:41.400
It appeared not that he expected them to. They would

888
01:07:41.480 --> 01:07:44.599
run for the office so that bastard agent could call

889
01:07:44.679 --> 01:07:49.199
for backup. It sent Otis into a giggle fit. He'd

890
01:07:49.239 --> 01:07:52.920
known things would go sideways when he came to get Diane,

891
01:07:53.679 --> 01:07:56.639
just like he'd known the manager would make a run

892
01:07:56.719 --> 01:08:02.000
for the office. So Otis had made preppers. He'd unplugged

893
01:08:02.000 --> 01:08:05.480
the phone and twisted a paper clip around its prongs.

894
01:08:06.159 --> 01:08:09.199
As soon as it was plugged back in, it would

895
01:08:11.119 --> 01:08:16.319
the lights turned off, sending everything into blackness until the

896
01:08:16.399 --> 01:08:21.680
emergency units kicked on. Otis smiled at his own genius.

897
01:08:22.479 --> 01:08:26.119
It had shorted the system just like he'd planned, and

898
01:08:26.239 --> 01:08:30.880
told him exactly where they were. He started down the

899
01:08:30.960 --> 01:08:35.479
long corridor to the office when from the breakroom there

900
01:08:35.520 --> 01:08:40.359
arose such a clatter. ODIs peeked through the little window

901
01:08:40.920 --> 01:08:46.399
and found two employees not being very good. For goodness sake,

902
01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:52.680
the bimbo cashier Shelby, was wrestling her tangled shirt back

903
01:08:52.760 --> 01:08:56.640
over her head. A toned stock boy that looked like

904
01:08:56.680 --> 01:09:00.760
a Baywatch extra was having similar luck with the chinos

905
01:09:01.159 --> 01:09:06.479
wrapped around his ankles. ODIs eased the door open, letting

906
01:09:06.479 --> 01:09:10.680
a blade of light cut across the dark room. Shit

907
01:09:11.760 --> 01:09:16.840
jewels shall be squinted at Otis's silhouetted figure while she

908
01:09:17.039 --> 01:09:22.720
tugged down the inside out garments. I was coming out there,

909
01:09:22.760 --> 01:09:24.840
I mean I was going to come out there to

910
01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:29.960
help close up Arnold's His belt broke right, and I

911
01:09:30.119 --> 01:09:34.960
was helping him fix it. Nothing like stuffing the Christmas goose.

912
01:09:35.760 --> 01:09:39.439
ODIs stepped into the room and posed with the bat

913
01:09:39.720 --> 01:09:43.760
like he was Mark Maguire. But it's so much easier

914
01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:48.640
if you kill it first. Arnold screamed and stumbled backwards,

915
01:09:48.840 --> 01:09:52.319
tripping over his pants and cracking his head on a counter.

916
01:09:53.319 --> 01:09:58.640
ODIs charged forward, but so did Shelby. She dropped her shoulders,

917
01:09:58.880 --> 01:10:03.119
burying it into Odis's sternum. They hit the ground together,

918
01:10:03.279 --> 01:10:06.960
and she immediately and repeatedly kneed him in the groin.

919
01:10:07.800 --> 01:10:11.479
Otis could hear the door slamming shut between his own

920
01:10:11.680 --> 01:10:17.479
heaving breaths. He sat up shakily. He definitely underestimated her.

921
01:10:18.079 --> 01:10:21.479
She wasn't just as stooly. She had to be a

922
01:10:21.520 --> 01:10:25.560
full agent with moves like that. He pulled himself up

923
01:10:25.600 --> 01:10:28.640
to his feet and gave Arnold a swift kick to

924
01:10:28.720 --> 01:10:32.479
the mouth as he tried to do the same. You

925
01:10:32.640 --> 01:10:37.000
haven't been a good little boy, have you, ODIs rubbed

926
01:10:37.039 --> 01:10:41.439
his sore nuts. No toys for you, but how about

927
01:10:41.439 --> 01:10:46.439
a nice new microwave. Otis pulled the appliance from the

928
01:10:46.479 --> 01:10:49.840
counter and let it drop onto the stock boy's head

929
01:10:50.399 --> 01:10:54.520
with a wet crunch. He shook the brain matter off

930
01:10:54.560 --> 01:10:58.640
his boot, giggling all the way to the office door.

931
01:10:59.479 --> 01:11:04.359
Like spected. It was closed up tight, at least they

932
01:11:04.399 --> 01:11:07.960
thought it was. He gave it a shove and the

933
01:11:08.079 --> 01:11:12.520
door swung open. ODIs pulled the wadding from the hole

934
01:11:12.680 --> 01:11:18.159
that kept the bolt from engaging completely. Diane cowered against

935
01:11:18.239 --> 01:11:21.560
the desk with the manager in front of her. All

936
01:11:21.600 --> 01:11:27.039
ODIs could see was her face. She looked absolutely terrified

937
01:11:27.439 --> 01:11:32.199
as her supposed boss held her captive. He pointed the

938
01:11:32.279 --> 01:11:38.720
bat at Jewels. Santa Claus is coming to pound, he growled.

939
01:11:39.319 --> 01:11:43.359
Jewels held up a letter opener. You stay back, nutcase.

940
01:11:44.279 --> 01:11:48.680
Oh is that what the naughty little boy wants for Christmas?

941
01:11:49.359 --> 01:11:53.479
ODIs slammed the bat into the wall, leaving it embedded

942
01:11:53.560 --> 01:11:58.039
there by its spikes. If you're asking Santa for a

943
01:11:58.119 --> 01:12:02.279
knife fight, then you're in life luck. ODIs pulled the

944
01:12:02.319 --> 01:12:07.319
gerber from his belt. Unlike Jewles, his hand wasn't shaking

945
01:12:07.600 --> 01:12:11.000
when he pressed it out in front of him. What

946
01:12:11.039 --> 01:12:16.760
the fuck is wrong with you, Diane shouted, leave us alone.

947
01:12:17.079 --> 01:12:21.399
It's too late now, but she's right. You should have

948
01:12:21.479 --> 01:12:26.760
left us alone, ODIs said, don't worry, honey. As soon

949
01:12:26.800 --> 01:12:31.199
as he's dead, no one will ever bother us again.

950
01:12:37.359 --> 01:12:42.359
Not him, You fucking sicko, Diane screamed, He's not the

951
01:12:42.439 --> 01:12:48.520
deranged prick in a goddamn Santa suit. The revelation left

952
01:12:48.520 --> 01:12:55.800
ODIs unable to speak, move, or even giggle. They had

953
01:12:55.840 --> 01:13:01.439
done it, The conniving bastards had set him up. Diane

954
01:13:01.600 --> 01:13:05.239
was a plant, sent to lead him on and make

955
01:13:05.319 --> 01:13:08.680
him do something drastic so they could lock him away.

956
01:13:09.920 --> 01:13:13.840
His eyes swelled with tears. He'd have broken down into

957
01:13:13.920 --> 01:13:18.199
hysterics if Jewels hadn't suddenly lunged at him with the opener.

958
01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:23.800
ODIs leaned away from the attack. The retailer thrust it again,

959
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:27.960
but ODIs parried and returned a stab of his own,

960
01:13:28.880 --> 01:13:34.800
just above Jewel's right hip. Never too deep, he whispered.

961
01:13:35.840 --> 01:13:39.560
You want to spill the guts, not cut them to pieces.

962
01:13:40.640 --> 01:13:44.760
ODIs jerked the blade to the man's navel, then twisted

963
01:13:44.760 --> 01:13:48.399
it and sliced its way up until the knife hid

964
01:13:48.439 --> 01:13:54.520
his breastbone. A waterfall of blood and viscera crashed over

965
01:13:54.680 --> 01:14:01.359
Odis's boots. This Christmas, you'll give me your heart. ODIs

966
01:14:01.399 --> 01:14:06.000
punched his fist into the gash and wriggled around elbow

967
01:14:06.159 --> 01:14:09.880
deep in the man's rib cage. He tugged twice, and

968
01:14:10.039 --> 01:14:14.840
then harder the third time to rip the organ free.

969
01:14:14.880 --> 01:14:19.399
He held it up, watching it sputter its remaining contents.

970
01:14:19.920 --> 01:14:25.279
With a few final beats. He turned to Diane and

971
01:14:25.439 --> 01:14:29.560
shook the heart. It's more of a Valentine's kind of gift,

972
01:14:29.680 --> 01:14:34.319
but it's the thought that counts. Am I right? He

973
01:14:34.399 --> 01:14:39.800
giggled nervously. I really do love you, Diane. Even though

974
01:14:39.840 --> 01:14:44.000
this was just another assignment for you, it was real

975
01:14:44.079 --> 01:14:49.479
for me. But oh well, what the hell are you

976
01:14:49.600 --> 01:14:54.560
talking about? I don't even know who you are. You're

977
01:14:54.680 --> 01:15:01.239
still coming with me, Diane? ODIs stalked closer to the desk,

978
01:15:01.880 --> 01:15:05.359
He slammed the heart down, letting it squish in his

979
01:15:05.520 --> 01:15:09.520
gloved fist. He tapped the tip of the knife on

980
01:15:09.600 --> 01:15:14.880
her candy cane shaped name tag, then slid the edge

981
01:15:14.920 --> 01:15:19.479
delicately down her torso until it clicked on the brass

982
01:15:19.520 --> 01:15:25.720
button of her jeans. ODIs leaned in, taking a deep

983
01:15:25.800 --> 01:15:32.000
sniff of her exclamation perfume. Do you like Christmas movies?

984
01:15:33.079 --> 01:15:41.000
Diane asked softly. Everybody likes Christmas movies, he replied, moving

985
01:15:41.039 --> 01:15:48.640
the knife back up her body. What's your favorite Santa Claus? Obviously,

986
01:15:49.439 --> 01:15:55.960
ODIs said, the one with Dudley Moore. It's timeless. What's yours?

987
01:15:56.640 --> 01:16:01.279
One of those rankin bass films? Probably you couldn't be

988
01:16:01.399 --> 01:16:09.520
further off, Diane smiled. Its silent night, deadly night, naughty

989
01:16:10.680 --> 01:16:15.560
a woman growled. ODIs whirled to see Shelby swinging the

990
01:16:15.640 --> 01:16:20.359
emergency fire axe at him. The blade landed opposite the

991
01:16:20.479 --> 01:16:25.439
part in his greasy hair. The cashier ripped it out.

992
01:16:26.560 --> 01:16:32.199
ODIs staggered towards her, swinging the knife with failing coordination.

993
01:16:33.600 --> 01:16:37.960
He turned to Diane, with his face obscured by a

994
01:16:38.000 --> 01:16:43.960
curtain of blood pumping from the head wound. Diane dodged

995
01:16:44.000 --> 01:16:47.920
the knife, twisted her fists into his red coat, and

996
01:16:48.039 --> 01:16:52.960
shoved him backwards towards the spiked bat he'd left stuck

997
01:16:53.520 --> 01:16:58.319
in the wall. ODIs screamed as he was impaled through

998
01:16:58.399 --> 01:17:04.279
the back. Diane took a step away and watched him squirm.

999
01:17:05.720 --> 01:17:13.640
I love you, Otis coughed blood and sagged weakly on

1000
01:17:13.680 --> 01:17:20.720
the nails. You were just another customer. Diane shoved him hard,

1001
01:17:20.880 --> 01:17:25.159
pushing the spikes in deeper. I guess you'll be sticking

1002
01:17:25.199 --> 01:17:31.520
around for New Years. Diane and Shelby walked out into

1003
01:17:31.560 --> 01:17:37.359
the hallway. They could hear the Etawa police shouting. Flashlights

1004
01:17:37.399 --> 01:17:42.319
shined around the stock room. Took them long enough, shall

1005
01:17:42.359 --> 01:17:48.720
be bitched. We didn't need them anyways, Diane said. That's

1006
01:17:48.760 --> 01:17:53.119
because we're a Blue Light special on kicking Ass. Yes

1007
01:17:53.239 --> 01:17:59.000
we are. Diane agreed. Want to come over and watch Rudolph.

1008
01:18:00.119 --> 01:18:06.520
Don't you have any real Christmas movies? Yeah, Diane smirked.

1009
01:18:07.840 --> 01:18:21.199
Let's watch Diehard? All right, my spookys, that was Otis

1010
01:18:21.239 --> 01:18:25.439
slays Christmas. And if you're listening to this on Christmas Eve,

1011
01:18:25.520 --> 01:18:30.000
then congratulations you made it to the end of the line.

1012
01:18:31.319 --> 01:18:35.840
The last Blue Light Special has finally died, and I

1013
01:18:35.960 --> 01:18:39.520
just want to say thank you all so much. Seriously,

1014
01:18:40.079 --> 01:18:43.760
this has been an absolute whirlwind. More than twenty five

1015
01:18:43.880 --> 01:18:47.840
Christmas releases on the Weekly Spooky Feed, and you showed

1016
01:18:47.920 --> 01:18:53.840
up for every snowstorm, every demon, every Killer Santa, and

1017
01:18:53.920 --> 01:18:58.279
every one more episode at two in the morning. You

1018
01:18:58.359 --> 01:19:02.079
made this whole holiday marathon feel like a messed up

1019
01:19:02.199 --> 01:19:06.520
little tradition and I'm grateful as hell for it. So

1020
01:19:06.760 --> 01:19:11.479
wherever you're listening, whether you're preparing gifts, driving through a blizzard,

1021
01:19:11.600 --> 01:19:14.920
hiding from your relatives in the bathroom, or working the

1022
01:19:15.039 --> 01:19:18.159
kind of shift that makes you hate jingle bells forever,

1023
01:19:18.960 --> 01:19:22.520
thank you for spending your season with me. And I

1024
01:19:22.560 --> 01:19:24.640
want to say an extra special thank you to our

1025
01:19:24.680 --> 01:19:28.720
Patreon podcast boosters, folks who go to Weeklyspooky dot com

1026
01:19:28.720 --> 01:19:32.039
slash join support us every month and pay a little

1027
01:19:32.039 --> 01:19:34.279
extra to hear their names at the end of the show.

1028
01:19:34.960 --> 01:19:38.239
Thank you, Johnny Nix, Kate and Lulu, Jessica Fuller, Mike

1029
01:19:38.279 --> 01:19:42.319
is Schuey, Jenny Green, Amber Hansford, Karen we Met, Jack Kerr,

1030
01:19:42.479 --> 01:19:44.560
and Craig Cohen. And if you guys want to join them,

1031
01:19:44.840 --> 01:19:49.199
Headweklyspooky dot com, slash join. I do appreciate the support,

1032
01:19:49.239 --> 01:19:52.560
but now it's about time I take a small break.

1033
01:19:53.119 --> 01:19:56.199
But there may be just a little extra Christmas present

1034
01:19:56.880 --> 01:19:59.600
on the twenty sixth, so keep an eye out for

1035
01:19:59.640 --> 01:20:02.680
that in make sure you're subscribed, and of course on Saturday,

1036
01:20:02.960 --> 01:20:06.119
we'll be dropping a marathon from the weekly Spooky Vault

1037
01:20:06.439 --> 01:20:08.920
of New Year's Terror, and we'll have a brand new

1038
01:20:08.920 --> 01:20:12.239
New Year's Horror story on New Year's Eve. So for myself,

1039
01:20:12.239 --> 01:20:15.399
for my executive producers Rob Fields and Bubbletopia dot Com,

1040
01:20:15.439 --> 01:20:19.479
my producer Dan Wilder, and my composer Ray Maddis, Merry

1041
01:20:19.560 --> 01:20:25.079
Christmas and happy holidays. Thank you for listenings. Make sure

1042
01:20:25.159 --> 01:20:28.439
to find your way back next week week. But for

1043
01:20:28.560 --> 01:20:33.319
now you are safe, trust me.