Jan. 24, 2025
Best of 2024: Never Bet The Devil Your Head
Join us tonight on Weekly Spooky, hosted by Henrique Couto, as we dive into the eerie world of Edgar Allan Poe with a narration of the lesser-known tale, Never Bet the Devil Your Head. This darkly humorous and surreal story is a perfect blend of Poe’s wit, macabre style, and moral undertones.
Henrique uncovers the story of Toby Dammit, whose reckless gambling habit leads to a chilling confrontation with the supernatural.
Expect vivid descriptions, sharp social commentary, and a tale that embodies Poe’s mastery of dark storytelling.
Subscribe to Weekly Spooky for an unforgettable journey into the strange and sinister. Perfect for fans of horror and classic literature, this episode offers a fresh look at one of Poe’s hidden gems. Don’t miss it!
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🎵 Music by Ray Mattis 👉 Check out Ray’s incredible work here !
👨💼 Executive Producers: Rob Fields, Bobbletopia.com
🎥 Produced by: Daniel Wilder
🌐 Explore more terrifying tales at: WeeklySpooky.com
WEBVTT
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Hello, my spookies. I hope you're all having a wonderful Friday.
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I wanted to bring you one more piece of the
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best of two thy twenty four, a year full of
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scares and surprises here at Weekly Spooky, and as I
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was picking through some of the most memorable moments on
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the show, I realized this one was a bit different.
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Because as I have been slowly compiling the total works
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of Edgar Allan Poe and narrating them for all of
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you to hear, I'm occasionally surprised by the stories. I
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find stories that I had never heard of, like the
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story hop Frog, which I did in November of last year.
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But this story is called never Bet the Devil your Head.
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I had never heard of this story in any way,
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shape or form. I'd never read it as a kid,
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I had never read about it on Wikipedia. Nothing. This story,
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as far as I was concerned, was completely and utterly new,
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and boy was it a lot of fun in that
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creepy way that only Edgar Allan Poe can present. If
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you missed it last year, now is your opportunity to
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give this one a listen. As we wrap up the
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best of twenty twenty four and if you've heard it before,
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well get comfortable and give it one more listen, because
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it's important to know the proper etiquette when it comes
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to dealing with the devil. Make sure you're subscribed on
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your favorite podcasting app like Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and
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while you're there, leave us a five star rating. It
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really helps new spookies find the show. And if you
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love what we're doing here, what we've been doing for
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almost six years right here at Weekly Spooky, please consider
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becoming a patron, backing us every month for a small
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fee of as little as one dollar a month. By
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going to Weekly Spooky dot Com slash join, you get
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two bonus shows every single month, as well as five
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years of prior bonus content including audiobooks, creepypastas, and so
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much more. That's at Weeklyspooky dot Com slash Join. But
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now please get comfortable, get something warm to drink, because
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after this quick break, we are going to chill you
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with the words of Edgar Allan Poe. Remember you're safe
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until the clock strikes midnight. That's when the story begins.
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Never bet the Devil your Head. A Tale with a
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Moral by Edgar Allan Poe contal. Ke las constumbres de
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un attour, says Don Thomas de las Thoris in the
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preface to his amatory poems siempreras i castas iporto mupoco
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ke nocion iglumente severas sos obras, meaning in plain English
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that provided the morals of an author are pure personally,
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it signifies nothing. What are the morals of his books?
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We presume that Don Thomas is now in purgatory for
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the assertion. It would be a clever thing too, in
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the way of poetical justice, to keep him there until
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his amatory poems get out of print or are laid
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definitely upon the shelf through lack of readers. Every fiction
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should have a moral, and what is more, to the purpose,
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the critics have discovered that every fiction has. Philip Melenchthon
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some time ago wrote a commentary upon the Batrocomiakia and
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proved that the poet's object was to excite a distaste
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for sedition. Pierre Lacine, going a step farther, shows that
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the intention was to recommend to young men temperance in
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eating and drinking. Just so too, Jacobus Hugo has satisfied
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himself that Eunice Homer meant to insinuate John Calvin, by
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Antinius Martin Luther, by Latofoggi Protestants in general, and by
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the Harpies. The Dutch our more modern Scholassies are equally acute.
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These fellows demonstrate a hidden meaning in the Antivillians, a
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parable of the Powaton new views in cock Robin and
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Transcendentalism in hop O my Thumb. In short, it has
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been shown that no man can sit down to write
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without a very profound design. Thus, to authors in general,
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much trouble is spared. A novelist, for example, need have
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no care of his moral It is there, that is
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to say, it is somewhere, and the moral and the
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critics can take care of themselves. When the proper time arrives,
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all that the gentleman intended and all that he did
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not intend, will be brought to light in the dial
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or the down Easter, together with all that he ought
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to have intended, and the rest that he clearly meant
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to intend, so that it will all come very straight
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in the end. There is no just ground therefore for
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the charge brought against me by certain ignoramuses that I
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have never written a moral tale, or in more precise words,
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a tale with a moral. They are not the critics
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predestined to bring me out and develop my morals. That
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is the secret. By and by the North American quarterly
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humdrum will make them ashamed of their stupidity. In the meantime,
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by way of saying execution, by way of mitigating the
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accusations against me, I offer the sad history appended, a
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history about whose obvious moral there can be no question whatever.
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Since he who runs may read it in the large
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capitals which form the title of the tale, I should
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have credit for this arrangement, a far wiser one than
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that of la Fontaine and others, who reserve the impression
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to be conveyed until the last moment, and thus sneak
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it in at the fag end of their fables. In
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functi injuria nay aficient was a law of the twelve tables,
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and de mortis nil nisi bonum is an excellent injunction,
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even if the dead in question be nothing but dead
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small beer. It is not my design, therefore, to vituperate
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my deceased friend Toby. Dammit, he was a sad dog.
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It is true and a dog's death. It was that
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he died, but he himself was not to blame for
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his vices. He grew out of a personal defect in
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his mother. She did her best in the way of
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flogging him while an infant, For duties to her well
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regulated mind were always pleasures and babies like tough steaks
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or the modern Greek olive trees, or invariably the better
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for beating. But poor woman, she had the misfortune to
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be left handed, and a child flogged left handedly had
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better be left unflogged. The world revolves from right to left.
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It will not do to whip a baby from left
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to right. If each blow when the proper direction, drives
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an evil propensity out, it follows that every thump in
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an opposite one knocks its quota of wickedness in. I
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was often present at Toby's chastisements, and even by the
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way in which he kicked, I could perceive that he
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was getting worse and worse every day. At last, I
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saw through the tears in my eyes that there was
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no hope of the villain at all. And one day,
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when he had been cuffed until he grew so black
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in the face that one might have mistaken him for
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a little African, and no effect have been produced beyond
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that of making him wriggle himself into a fit. I
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could stand it no longer, but went down upon my knees,
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forthwith and uplifting my voice, made prophecy of his ruin
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the fact that his precocity in vice was awful. At
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months of age, he used to get into such passions
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that he was unable to articulate. At six months I
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caught him gnawing a pack of cards. At seven months
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he was in when the constant habit of catching and
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kissing the female babies. At eight months he peremptorily refused
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to put his signature to the temperance pledge. Thus he
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went on increasing in iniquity month after month, until at
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the close of the first year he not only insisted
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upon wearing mustaches, but had contracted a propensity for cursing
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and swearing, and for backing his assertions by bets. Through
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this latter most ungentlemanly practiced the ruin which I had
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predicted to Toby Dammit overtook him. At last. The fashion
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had grown with his growth and strengthened with his strength,
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so that when he came to be a man. He
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could scarcely utter a sentence without interlarding it with a
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proposition to gamble. Not that he actually laid wagers. No,
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I will do my friend the justice to say that
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he would as soon have laid eggs with him. The
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thing was a mere formula, nothing more. His expression on
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this head had no meaning attached to them. Whatever they were, simply,
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if not altogether, innocent expletives, imaginative phrases wherewith to round
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off a sentence. When he said I'll bet you so
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and so, nobody ever thought of taking him up. But
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still I could not help thinking it my duty to
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put him down. The habit was an immoral one, and
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so I told him it was a vulgar one. This
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I begged him to believe. I was discounteranced by society.
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Here I said nothing but the truth. It was forbidden
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by act of Congress. Here I had not the slightest
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intention of telling a lie. I remonstrated, but to no purpose.
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I demonstrated in vain. I entreated, he smiled, I implored,
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he laughed. I preached, he sneered. I threatened, he swore.
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I kicked him. He called for the police. I pulled
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his nose, he blew it, and offered to bet the
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devil his head. That I would not venture to try
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that experiment again. Poverty was another vice which the peculiar
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physical deficiency of Damit's mother had entailed upon her son.
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He was detestably poor, and this was the reason, no
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doubt that his expletive expressions about betting seldom took a
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pecuniary turn. I will not be bound to say that
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I ever heard him make use of such a figure
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of speech as I'll bet you a dollar. It was
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usually i'll bet you what you please, or i'll bet
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you what you dare, or i'll bet you a trifle,
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or else more significantly still, i'll bet the devil my head.
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This latter form seemed to please him best, perhaps because
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it involved the least risk, For Dammit had become excessively parsimonious.
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Had anyone taken him up, his head was small, and
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thus his loss would have been small too. But these
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are my own reflections, and I am by no means
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sure that I am right in attributing them to him.
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At all events, the phrase in question grew daily in favor,
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notwithstanding the gross impropriety of a man betting his brains
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like bank notes. But this was a point which my
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friend's perversity of disposition would not permit him to comprehend.
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In the end, he abandoned all other forms of wager
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and gave himself up to I'll bet the devil my head,
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with a pertinacity and exclusiveness of devotion that displeased not
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less than it surprised me. I am always displeased by
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circumstances for which I cannot account. Mysteries force a man
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to think, and so injure his health. The truth is,
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there was something in the air with which mister Dammit
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was wont to give utterance to his offensive expression, something
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in his manner of enunciation which at first interested and
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afterwards made me very uneasy, Something which, for want of
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a more definite term, at present I must be permitted
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to call queer, but which mister Coleridge would have called mystical,
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mister Kant pantheistical, mister Carlyle twisticle, and mister Emerson hyperquisitistical.
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I began to not like it at all. Mister Dammit's
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soul was in a perilous state. I resolved to bring
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all my eloquence into play. To save it, I vowed
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to serve him as Saint Patrick in the Irish Chronicle
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is said to have served the toad, that is to say,
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awaken him to a sense of his situation. I addressed
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myself to the task forthwith. Once more, I betook myself
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to remonstrance. Again, I collected my energies for a final
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attempt at expostulation. When I had made an end of
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my lecture, mister Dammitt indulged himself in some very equivocal behavior.
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For some moments he remained silent, merely looking at me
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inquisitively in the face. But presently he threw his head
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to one side and elevated his eyebrows to a great extent.
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Then he spread out the palms of his hands and
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shrugged up his shoulders. Then he winked with the right eye.
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Then he repeated the operation with the left. Then he
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shut them both up very tight. Then he opened them
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both so very wide that I became seriously alarmed for
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the consequences. Then, applying his thumb to his nose, he
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thought proper to make an indescribable movement with the rest
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of his fingers. Finally, setting his arms akimbo, He condescended
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to reply, I can call to mind only the heads
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of his discourse. He would be obliged to me if
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I would hold my tongue. He wished none of my advice.
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He despised all my insinuations. He was old enough to
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take care of himself. Did I still think him baby?
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Damn it? Did I mean to say anything against his character?
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Did I intend to insult him? Was I fool? Was
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my maternal parent aware in a word of my absence
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from the domiciliary residence. He would put this latter question
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to me as to a man of veracity, and he
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would bind himself to abide by my reply. Once more,
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he would demand explicitly, if my mother knew that I
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was out my confusion, he said, betrayed me, and he
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would be willing to bet the devil his head that
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she did not. Mister dammit, did not pause for my rejounder.
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Turning upon his heel, he left my presence with undignified precipitation.
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It was well for him that he did so. My
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feelings had been wounded, even my anger had been aroused,
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For once I would have taken him upon his insulting
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wager I would have won for the arch enemy, mister
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Dammit's little head. For the fact is, my Mamma was
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very well aware of my merely temporary absence from home.
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But Koda shefa mideh, heaven gives relief. As the muscle
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men say when you tread upon their toes. It was
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in pursuance of my duty that I had been insulted,
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and I bore the insult like a man. It now
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seemed to me, however, that I had done all that
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