WEBVTT
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Well, My Spooky's Halloween is indeed in full swing. So
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I have one more compilation of terrifying tales of Halloween
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from the vaults of Weekly Spooky's six year history. This
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is the finest of twenty twenty three, but I want
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to put a caveat in here. If you're on Spotify
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or you want to send us an email at Weeklyspooky
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at gmail dot com. Send us an email or comment.
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Do you want a compilation of last year's Halloween novellas.
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That would be a very big compilation, but I'd be
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happy to put it together before the big day if
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you'd enjoy listening to it, Because these are just the
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short stories of last Halloween. But now get yourself comfortable.
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I'm your host and narrator, Enrique Kuto, and these are
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nine of the finest fearful tales of twenty twenty three's Halloween,
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and they're starting right about now. Strife of the Party
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by David o'hanley. That's just nasty, Kesha said, with a
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sour expression. Of course it's nasty. I'm a zombie Bronson
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James shrugged. What do you want me to do? Twilight
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it up? Sprinkle glitter on the guts, make the pus pink.
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Bronson was the next Stan Winston. He'd gotten his start
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doing low budget effects tutorials on YouTube. When he got
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into college, he started making props for the Drama Club,
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which led to a makeup gig with the Community Theater
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and a public access variety show. Then he did the
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independent film Murder on Bonanza Ranch. Once the B Studio
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saw what he could do with a few hundred bucks,
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they were beating down his doors with a never ending
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string of classy projects like Amityville, Conjurer, Great Lake Shark Attack,
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and The Cleveland Cleaver. The last one got him his
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first Chainsaw Award nomination at twenty five years old. Naturally,
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he went all out designing his Halloween costume. We're a couple,
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Kesha huffed, we should have costumes that go together. What
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the hell goes with a zombie? I don't know, he admitted. Vultures, maggots,
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that one asshole that swears he isn't bit even though
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everybody damn well knows he was. You want me to
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dress like a white guy, she asked with a raised eyebrow.
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It really is always a white guy, isn't it. Bronson
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reached to embrace her with his gory hands. She slapped
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them away. Nw Ah, you are not touching me with
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all that on you. How about I draw up another
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zombie concept for you. It's good experience for the team
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and will be the en life of the party. He
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spreads his hands wide, flicking fake blood on the walls.
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It'll be a romance to die for. How long did
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it take you to get into that costume, she asked,
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Only three hours, he smiled, excitedly. I came up with
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this new three hours, Bronson, have you lost your damn mind.
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I'm not sitting in a chair while someone puts zombie
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makeup on me for three hours. That's only like forty
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five minutes longer than you spend putting on your regular makeup,
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he offered, regrettably. Oh shit, go on, what would you
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like to say about my beauty routine? You don't like it?
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Is it too fake for the man that makes make believe?
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For a fucking living bronze? Inside there was ice skating uphill,
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and then there was arguing with Kesha. Once she got
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on a tangent, only one of them was impossible. Is
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that what you meant? She continued? Are you comparing my
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makeup to your monsters. No, it was the only word
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he was going to get in. Maybe I should dress
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down like what was her name? The skinny one with
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the flat ass who stole your car and left you
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broke charisma with a Z or some bullshit Kesha spun
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around to leave the room. I'll go wash this off
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since you don't seem to like it. Her heels clacked
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across the hardwood floor, almost as sharply as the bathroom
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door slamming. A moment later, Bronson started counting silently. She
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was every bit as hot as a burning fuse and
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just as quick to explode. They had one of these
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arguments every other month, and he'd learned the rhythm of
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the fight. It was charisma with a Y that fucked
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him over and broke his heart, by the way. Bronson
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got to eight when he heard the lock click open,
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and then the door banged against the stop before the
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knob would punch the drywall. She padded back into the room,
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barefoot and working at her face with a makeup removal wipe.
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You know everyone at this party is going to be
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Ken and Barbie because of that dumbass movie. Maybe a
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few ghosts and sexy nurses. An from accounting will be
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a minion or whatever cutesy pajet ammas she can get
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last minute, But not you. She waved her hand at
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his costume. You don't even work for Hind and Heart,
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but you want to be the star with your Hollywood
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special effects and dangling guts. They're a nice touch, right,
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She put her clenched fists at her hips and scowled.
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I don't have to. I just thought you'd want to
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show off. I figured after you saw mine you'd want
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something over the top too, so they'd all still be
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talking about your costume next Halloween. I want to show
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you what we could do. He twisted the latex and
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testines in his hands. We can do whatever costumes you want, babe,
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Really you mean it? Sure of course. He let the
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entrails fall and shrugged. You want to be Ken or Barbie?
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Bronson regretted, not putting limitations on the whatever costumes you want.
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Bit.
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They stepped off the elevator into the Rand Hall on
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the thirty ninth floor of the Hind and Heart Corporate Tower,
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wearing as couples should. Apparently, costumes that went together. Awaiting
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them were no less than two dozen barbies mingled with
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their kens. Two they live aliens that Bronson recognized as
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Kesha's friend Mark and his husband Stewart. There was a Dracula,
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an Amina Harker, a Hawkey and a black widow, a Bella,
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and an Edward. For the most part, Kesha was right
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about the couples. There were the exceptions, of course, as
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well as the singles. To no one's surprise, there was
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also an abundance of Harley Quinn costumes, two from the
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animated series, at least five from the Suicide Squad films,
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and one from the Axel Bron parody. Thereof a few
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Wednesday Adams clones lingered with wolfmen, superheroes, ghosts, ninjas, and
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a couple of Jason's, a piss poor Michael and one
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really well designed mummy. A sexy Freddy gyrated on, a
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man in a banana costume, A pair of inflatable dinosaur
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costumes butted heads. There was Anne in a one hundred
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and one Dalmatian's one piece pajama. Bronson gave her a
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polite wave. She wagged her tail in response. At the bar.
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Gerard Hind wore a professional grade Frankenstein costume that seemed
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appropriate for his powerful six foot five frame. Without the makeup,
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Hind looked like a retired linebacker, not the architectural genius
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that he was. Three interns in various stages of undress
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as sexy emojis, The Evil Anger and sad Ones cackled
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lasciviously at whatever the billionaire was saying. Security guard Tom
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patrolled the party topless as a dad bod Rambo with
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his partner Jeannette, who at sixty three, looked anything but
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wondrous as wonder woman. Bronson recognized Winslow from the company's
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fourth of July party despite his cleverly put together spy
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costume that consisted of a trench coat and two dollars mustache.
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Another man of mystery chatted it up with Winslow in
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an invisible man get up while he tried to figure
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out how to take advantage of the open bar with
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gauze over his mouth and at the opulent fountain. Occupying
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the middle of the hall was Robert Hart, dressed ironically
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and insultingly as a construction worker. The octagenarian had been
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born the fourth richest man in America and never worked
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a day in his life. He waved a hammer around
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like a scepter before the groveling peasants. Among them were
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Esteban and Carly from Kesh's department. Esteban wore a pirate
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costume like you'd see on a romance novel cover, with
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his broad muscular chest revealed between the deep gash of
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the prissy v neck collar. Carly, fully aware that she
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was a stone cold milk, had option to dress up
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as a genuine cougar, or at least a pair of
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whiskers and a tan body suit that hugged every curve.
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Then there was Kesha and Bronson in their matching costumes.
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He stared down at the gold buckles on his shoes
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and his ridiculous striped socks. Kesha adjusted his top hat
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with a happy squeal. It looks great, she told him,
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you really are the next Tim Savini. It's Tom, he mumbled.
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He eyed her costume with the blonde wig spiked gold
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bikini top and short matching skirt that showed off her
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legs in their entirety. He turned to face his reflection
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in the gilded elevator doors. Yeah, well, at least one
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of us does, he said, you said, Halloween costumes should
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be scary. She reminded him, this is my favorite horror movie.
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Leprechaun in Space isn't anybody's favorite horror movie. He grumbled,
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it is when you've only seen three horror movies. Kesha shrugged.
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It was this or that slumber party movie with the
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drill guitar. Slumber Party Massacre two was an option, and
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this is what you chose. Baby. You wouldn't look good
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in a teddy. She tugged at his fake beard. Let's go.
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You need to drink before you shit shillings. The couple
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made it halfway to the bar before Kesha was stripped
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away from Bronson's arm by Carly to join the departmental
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mini celebration. The world's largest online retailer was expanding to
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brick and mortar operations, and Kesha's design had gotten hind
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in heart the contract, Kesha waved him to go on
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without her. He would have regardless. The stupid costume was stifling,
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plus the pants were assize too small and had his
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chaleley in a bunch. But at least it gave him
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the character's trademark waddle. He sidled up to the bar
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and stared at himself in the mirrored back. He hadn't
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had a say in the costume, but he'd done an
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excellent job recreating Warwick Davis's makeup. He tugged at the
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crotch of his trousers to free up space so he
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could mount the stool without tearing them. Good thing, the
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drinks are free, Heind said, lumbering over to Bronson. I
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couldn't wrestle a piece of gold from you if there weren't.
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Many fools have tried to separate a leprechaun from his ends,
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Bronson said, imitating the voice as best he could. Many
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fools have died and others became friends. Hind laughed, that's
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a good one. I don't get it. The intern dressed
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like a purple devil emoji said, you wouldn't, kid. Hind
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waved her off and leaned on the bar so Bronson
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didn't have to strain his neck looking up at him.
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You know, I took Jennifer Aniston to dinner once. No shit,
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Bronson snickered, No shit, Hind assured him. Lisa Kudro turned
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me down. I thought taking jen out might make her
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jealous enough to reconsider. Did it work about as well
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as a fishnet condom. At least it protects against the crabs.
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Bronson shrugged. Hind smiled, I'm about to offer you a
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job so I have someone fun to talk to again.
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I'll settle for a double Jamison, Bronson said. Better make
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it a single, Winslow said, stumbling to the bar and
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rattling the ice in his glass. The Golden Hind pours
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with a heavy hand. A couple of these and your
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after party is going to look like stuffing a marshmallow
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into a key hole. Maybe you're just a lightweight, Bronson said,
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clapping him on the shoulder. Good to see you again.
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So uh, double Jamison for my new friend, and water
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for do you even work for me? Hind made a
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show of trying to see through the shitty spy outfit.
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Oh Winslow from marketing, right right? That explains why your
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shit based off of a Cardi swizzle? Is that what
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that was? Winslow hiccuped. He clumsily straddled the stool beside Bronson.
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Tasted like acetone and sunny d. A blonde sauntered past
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the bar, calling halftime on any further conversation. As the
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three men and even the intern watched her pass. Her
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blue shimmering dress dragged the floor with white ruffles at
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the hem and tassels along the arms and hips, swayed
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as if she brought her own breeze. Cockles decorated her hair,
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and auger shells dangled from her ears along a thin
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porcelain neck. Talk about a glow up, the intern said,
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that's B. Gleason's secretary. I don't remember seeing her at
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the Fourth of July party. Bronson added, she's new Winslow drooled.
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She went from.
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Nerd to knockout? Is she supposed to be elsa? Bronson
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asked the ocean. The interurn corrected her. She rolled her
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eyes and turned to hind. Can I get another mohido?
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Boss man? No, The billionaire shook his head. You can't
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have another because you haven't had a mohido. That's a
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dakaree in your hand. I took French.
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She shrugged.
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I don't know Mexican. Heine started to explain that dakerye
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is a Tano word, then shook off the notion. His partner,
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the Perpetual Letch, hired the three interns to keep employee
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morale up. He turned to the wall of as sordid
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alcohol to make the next round, Winslow leaned toward Bronson.
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The movement proved too much for his compromised equilibrium, and
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he toppled on to the leprechaun. Lad you've had a
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few too many, yet you've had hardly any, Bronson said,
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getting into his character. That is somebody of water. Winslow huffed.
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He gave a half assed whistle. I'd love to disappear
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in her permuta triangle. Bronson heaved Winslow back onto his stool.
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The two watched Bee make her way through the crowd.
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The employees and their plus ones had all stepped aside
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as she flowed across the dance floor. She weaved through
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them in a wave like fashion, befitting her attire. Some
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seemed to drift after her, as if drowned into her wake.
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She was mesmerizing to watch, but her figure wasn't what
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had Bronson's attention. There was something off about her. Bronson
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couldn't put his finger on it. You're right, I'm done drinking,